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Double Standard: Why Is It Okay For A Man But Not For A Woman?

Updated on June 1, 2014

For As Long As I Can Remember

Since I was a little girl I have always known that it was “okay” for older men to date much younger women, as long as the girl was over the age of 18 or then the guy was a pervert. I saw this depicted in movies, television shows, media ads, and so on. It was the societal norm. For some reason our society looks at much older men dating younger women as a norm, it’s the standard. However, if an older woman dates a much younger man, suddenly the woman is a cougar and it’s unacceptable and desperate. I never understood why there was such a double standard between men and women. Why was it acceptable for older men to date younger women but older women who date younger men are looked at as trying to reclaim their youth and remain young? Why would any younger male want to be with an “old hag”?

This is what a female would have too look like in real life if a Barbie doll were alive.
This is what a female would have too look like in real life if a Barbie doll were alive. | Source

Why Older Women are Dating More Younger Men


  • Women are more likely to come back on the dating market because of divorce and a longer expected life span.
  • Not as many women are looking for the picket fence and two cars. Now companionship, travel, and fun are coming to the forefront.
  • Women may also want a man with a less-developed career who could follow her or take care of children, if that is a factor.
  • For their part, younger men often find older women more interesting, experimental, fun to talk to, financially settled, and more adept sexually.

Player or Whore?

When an older man dates a much younger female they are seen as some sort of hero in the eyes of other men. However, a woman that dates a much younger male is just seen as desperate, immature, or looking to recover her youth. This is very similar to the phenomenon of when a male has multiple partners and he is seen as a player and a “stud” because he can bed so many women. However, when a woman has multiple partners she is not seen as a player but instead she is seen as a whore. Men get to have a positive spin on having multiple partners but women with multiple partners are seen as dirty and disgusting. This same thing happens when males and females express their opinions. Men who express their opinions openly are known as confident and intelligent but when a woman openly expresses her opinions she is known as a b*tch. Women are not allowed to have opinions or their own voice because that just means they are some b*tch feminist that doesn’t take crap off of men. Why does society look at men and women so differently? Why is it okay for a man to sleep around but not for women to sleep around? Why can a man speak openly but when a woman opens her mouth the eyes begin to roll?

Even the celebrities are dating younger men.
Even the celebrities are dating younger men. | Source

A Patriarchal Society

No matter how we look at it, we still live in patriarchal society. Men are still in charge of things. We still haven’t had a female president, women still take the males’ surname at marriage, men still make more money per dollar than women, men still hold more positions of power, etc… There is no way around the double standard because the double standard is everywhere. The double standard can be found in the way we raise our children. Little boys are often bought baseballs, cars, footballs, and action oriented toys, while little girls are often bought the pretty little baby dolls, barbies, doll houses, princesses, and tiaras. We raise our children to be different and to act different. We are not raising most of our little girls to grow up thinking they can do whatever a boy can. Boys are taught that they shouldn’t cry when they are in pain or when they are hurt because tough big boys don’t cry, however, little girls are encouraged to share their emotions. Little boys grow up wanting to be tough police officers or in the army and little girls want to be dancers and nurses. We are beginning the double standard from birth, so of course the double standards would continue when we are adults. God forbid a little boy dressed up in a tiara and carried around a fairy wand because that would be looked down upon and to have a little girl’s haircut short like a little boy’s would instantly cause a stir. Why do we have such a set idea of how boys should be and how girls should be? Why can’t boys and girls be equals? Why must little girls be pushed to enjoy the colors pink and purple and boys told pink and purple are for girly girls? When will society look at both genders equally? Probably not any time soon.

Do women face a double standard when dating younger men?

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Us Girls Got To Stick Together

So of course when a woman is seen dating a younger man she just seems desperate or trying to maintain her youth. However, the sad truth of the matter is that a woman’s hardest critics are often OTHER WOMEN! As women we turn on each other on a dime, instantly pointing out what is wrong with other females instead of supporting one another. We are the first ones to put each other down falls. It’s not often you hear a man commenting on an older female dating a younger man, but it is very common to hear a woman degrading another woman for her choices. Females already face so many obstacles in our lives because we are born female and not male. Why do we make things harder for one another? Do women fight with one another because we know there is no reason to even try going up against the males in society because until societal norms change women will never overthrow the male patriarchal society that we have allowed to be designed over the last few centuries. So instead women take down our female competition so we can at least come out on top of our own gender. Women need to begin supporting one another and uplifting one anther instead of being our own harshest critics. We have enough critics in our lives ladies, let’s not add ourselves to the mix too.

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    • Lady Guinevere profile image

      Debra Allen 

      4 years ago from West By God

      God questions about society. Who dictates all this in society? REally, who starts the racket and the principles that we all have to hold too? I think that is the answer if you find the one person....then shoot them! lol it is crazy in this world, no?

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