I lay in bed, smile on my face.
I feel your chest rising and falling beneath my head.
I feel your strong, comforting hands brushing back my hair.
Cool air of the fan caresses our skin.
I hear your voice so deep in my ear, telling me you love me.
My mind wanders, reality beckons, please no.
My eyes open.
The dream is broken.
Cotton fabric under my face.
My arm hugging a pillow in a warm embrace.
The air blows cold and harsh on my skin.
I close my eyes, must get back the fantasy.
Head on your chest, your voice soothing my feelings.
It's not real.
Tears soaking a pillow that has no life.
Reality wins over.
I roll over, staring away.
It's just me, only me.
Don't cry stupid, it does no good.
Choke back tears, must sleep.
Do I call?
Another tear rolls down my red cheek.
Not in this emotional state.
Must calm down, must rest.
How does one rest alone?
Cannot rest, must at least just sleep.
Mind wanders, work, school, all that disinterests me.
Tears stop, breathing calms, mind drifts into a restless slumber.
Empty dreams full of day-to-day living.
Eyes burst open, phone rings loudly, reaching out to answer.
Now you're here but yet so far away.
Voice in my ear but I can't feel your breath.
Listen to you laugh but I can't listen to the sound of your heart beat.
I see you in front of me, your face so comforting but I cannot touch your cheek.
You are here but so far away.
But somehow I must find a way to make this kind of satisfy.