Dumped After 10 Years
Love on the Rails
It usually is my goal at 6:15 a.m. in the morning to mind my own business and set foot at my work location in order to sip down my only cup of Dunkin Donuts' coffee. I had, however, noticed that every morning a certain woman always felt the need to follow-up her "good morning" to the group of commuters with "It's hard."
My initial witness to this ritual, needless to say, woke me out of my usual morning stupor! Who could be that dramatic at 6:18 a.m.? For the story sake, let's call our commuter Ellen.
Ellen was on the dowdy side, even though here overweight frame was about 5' 10. She stood head and shoulders above the other women commuters on the platform. Ellen's hair was fine, a pale blond and swooped unmanged below her rosey cheeks on the cold morning.
Ellen had been in a relationship with her boyfriend, I'll call him Jim for some 10 years. During this time, they Ellen and Jim decided to maintained two separate households. They also decided to rear their respective children separately. As life would have it and the 10 years had rolled on, their children reached adulthood and have left the separate residences to pursue their life goals.
With the boys all grown up now, Ellen was looking forward to the next phase of life with Jim.
Jim was the driver of our 6:18 a.m. Light Rail train. It was their usual custom that upon arriving at our last stop that they would walk across the street to the rail station's Dunkin Donuts before parting ways for the work day.
However, I had begin to notice that Ellen was having a hard time catching up to Jim after he departed the train. I could see Ellen excusing herself through the mass of people on the platform to find her space next to Jim.
At first I thought it was because Jim was trying to keep to the train schedule. You could see Ellen waiting outside the train doors waiting for him to exit. Each morning this ritual between Jim and Ellen seemlessly occurred. Ellen scampering to keep up with him, not realizing that Jim was quietly putting distance between them.
Needless to say, things between Jim and Ellen got progressively worse. Finally, Jim confronted Ellen with the news that he no longer wanted a relationship with her! This was the news that Ellen was sharing with us on the train platform.
She looked dishelved, hurt, and in complete disgust. Ellen informed us that Jim had just turned 60 years old in July. He was old enough to know what he wanted and how he wanted it. Ellen understood this in theory but the pain of letting go of Jim clouded her thoughts and prevented her sanity.
Ellen would confessed to riding pass his house on the night of their 10 year anniversary one July evening.
Every morning since the break up, Ellen showed up at the Station on the verge of tears and needed to be comforted before boarding the train. It wasn't strange to see one of the other commuters comforting Ellen as they departed the train.
Ellen could be heard saying on Friday before exiting the train "the weekends are the worse!"
Should Ellen Have Waited for Jim 10 Years?
Ellen continued in this cycle for some four months when one day, after arriving on the platform, she quickly blurted out "last night I walked three miles because I couldn't stand being home alone with my thoughts of him!"
It was as though a volcano had erupted! Ellen just started blurting out things! Thoughts that seem to drive her to spew them out! With each eruption, Ellen "balled" terribly. Shaking, wailing, then back to shaking!
The compassionate of the women circled Ellen and commenced to comfort her when we heard the words "the marriage license wasn't a concern for me! That's why I never PUSHED him to marry me!"
Ellen had potrayed a loving wife, friend, and even stepmother to Jim's two boys. She fixed meals, made doctor appointments, took the boys to game practices, washed clothes for both houses, grocery shopping...all that a good wife and mother would pride herself on!
Perhaps Ellen was thinking that this had been a big mistake? The realization of Ellen's situation had brought her to her knees!
Ellen Accepts Her Situation
The concern of the women commuters was a great comfort for Ellen. After that last outburst Ellen seem to realize that she had to surrender to the emotions that connected her to Jim and then cut them completely.
All of them!
No more riding by Jim's house, calling Jim's friends or boys to find out how he was doing! No more reminiscing on what could have been! We persuaded Ellen to put away the photos of their life together until she was stronger!
Ellen agreed, and started her journey to recovery from her break-up! Ellen would arrive on the station ramp and we would be waiting for her report of her evening activities. Ellen had taken up walking, long walks to wear herself out so that she would be too tired to think about the break-up! She was slowly coming to the point that she was beginning to accept the break-up but it was harder for her to grip the idea that maybe Jim never loved her, after all, how could Jim do that to her! That was the hardest step for Ellen to master. But master it she must.
Ellen's story doesn't end here...Chapter 5 starts another HUB!