25 Easy Ways (for Women) To Know if They Are Jerks or Not

NOTE: Men, this is not about you, so go fishing, hunting or just napping on the couch. (Kenneth).

To be completely-fair, I am publishing this hub that is completely about women who are jerks. I hinted at the end of my last hub, “Ways to Tell if You a Jerk or Not,” that was solely about men, that I would write a story that revealed if there are any females in our readership who are, in fact, jerks.

You cannot fathom how tough this is to write given my appreciation for females. But fair is fair. I cannot escape that fact. I may be “going out on the limb” here, but if no men in my readership will admit that there “are” female jerks in our world, I am sure that the females will shout, “You got that right, Ken,” in a short moment.

It's tough to admit that there "are" female jerks

Men, you know as well as I do, that in our “world tours” of dating various girls, there comes a time when the girl you are dating will definitely run into one of her enemies. Then tension will fill the air that you breathe. This meeting might be at the movies, in a restaurant, or some other public place, but remember, this meeting “will” happen. It’s like the universe looking down into your “happy time,” and as a test of our character, a female nemesis is discharged to see if you can endure the sudden friction that this encounter with your girlfriend will bring.

Girls have their own arsenal of weaponry to deal with a girl they do not like. It all starts with the girl you are dating suddenly going silent although she is talking to about a new college course that you would like, but it happens. Her lips grow tight. Her eyes almost glaze-over with seething hatred for her arch enemy who did something to her, but with all of your begging, she will not tell you what the trouble was really about. Then she brings up “the big guns,” (HubPages editors: this “big guns” reference was not about the girl’s bosom in any way). The “big guns” are how your date looks the evil girl up and down ever so slowly as if she is measuring her for the fight.

The battle is on

The evil girl suddenly notices your date and prances over to your table and with a sharp-but-effective tone says, “Well, well, well. If it’s not ‘Miss Stab in The Back,’ in person. Is this (meaning you) some other girl’s date?” Talk about a gig and a rip at the same time. This evil girl has her game down. But your date keeps her cool and sarcastically makes a fake-but-hateful smile and does not speak. As the evil girl walks away, your date says under her breath, “Jerk. I mean, what a witch-jerk!” So with that one harsh-but-justified remark, you know that there are female jerks living among us.

And for further proof, here are

25 Easy Ways (for Women) to Tell if They are a Female Jerk or Not

1. Do you intentionally take your time when your husband or boyfriend wants to take you to his 10^th high school reunion, but you do not like his friends?
2. Do you intentionally take your time when your second husband wants to take you to his 15^th college reunion, but you still hate his friends?
3. It’s been close to a year that your husband or boyfriend has went fishing with his friends, but when you agree to let him go, you follow-up with one big guilt trip and say things like, “Aww, go ahead, sweetie. I will be fine all---by—myself, sigh”) Notice how you dragged that ‘all by myself’ out to create more guilt?
4. When your fifth wedding anniversary rolls around, you love the gift that he buys you, but (on purpose, because you are a female jerk) you do not get him one gift. Not one iota. To make it worse for your companion, you do not apologize or show any remorse for intentionally neglecting your companion.
5. Do you get a few rumors started at your workplace about a girl or guy who is in the running for a big promotion?
6. Do you brow-beat any coworker who does not understand your question? And then harass them into apologizing for not grasping your idea.
7. In your senior year of high school, you put a strong laxative into “Beckie Ckowalskie’s” milk at lunch sending her to the girls’ room and finally home to bed with dehydration just so you would win the title of Homecoming Queen in the election to be held after lunch.
8. You bribe a more-intelligent female friend to take your admissions test to college.
9. You intentionally mislead the captain of the football team to thinking that you were interested in him, but when he came to pick you up, you played like you had suddenly come down with malaria. At least that is what you made your sweet mom tell a dejected “Mark Jennings.”
10. You have no problem cutting in front of an elderly couple who are in front of you in the grocery store checkout line.
11. Stealing a woman’s husband for a few weeks is second nature to you.
12. Your few female and male friends all agree that you possibly have no soul.
13. You were such a female jerk in grade school that the kids around you up and gave you their lunch money for they knew that in that day you would extort it from them.
14. Your nickname in grade school as well as high school was, “Deadly Donna,” although your name was “Linda.”
15. At family reunions when it is time for photos to be taken, you always insist on standing in front of everyone in the picture just because you wrote an award-winning essay in your 4-H Club in the ninth-grade. Well, you didn’t write the essay, but forced “Bruce Weatherlie,” a weakling with a high I.Q. to write it for you or suffer a terrible beating.
16. You are a huge sports fan, and that is fine. But you intentionally sit on the visitor’s side and hope to get into a fist-fight or hair-pulling, screaming match with another female. Hey, you see this as a great stress-reliever.
17. When you go shopping and find a pretty pair of shoes, but another woman sees them too, you make a gesture that someone is waving at her so you can run away with the shoes.
18. You have the nerve to visit your local nursing home and then misrepresent yourself as a representative of some bogus charity and actually collect donations from the senior citizens.
19. At your office when a new office manager is named, but you do not like him, you create a fake photo using PhotoShop of you and him caught in a compromising position and pass it out to everyone in the offce. He is fired in record time to the amazement of your coworkers.
20. Another jerk maneuver you use at your office to get rid of a person of a different ethnic background, you start a rumor that your boss will hear saying the employee with the different ethnic background is in the country without a work visa or proper paperwork. It is so amazing that not anyone in your office ever suspects that you started this malicious rumor.
21. When talking with African-Americans, Hispanics and Chinese people who live in your neighborhood, you claim, hot and heavy that you are no bigot, so why were not any of these neighbors invited to your blow-out of a party last weekend?
22. In your neighborhood, you have swiped other neighbors’ newspapers from their lawns so much that you are now weary, so you scope-out the senior citizens who have their meals delivered to their homes, then you go up to the truck carrying the meals and claim that “you” are the granddaughter of the persons living in the house.
23. In high school, you hold the all-time record for causing more teachers to suddenly-retire or quit from having a nervous breakdown than anyone in school history—even the bullies, con artists and thieves.
24. During a Fourth of July holiday, you, knowing that shooting fireworks is against the rules for your neighborhood, shoot fireworks most of the day and into the night. But when disturbed neighbors walk over to ask you to stop this annoying act, you glare at them and reply, “Bite me!”
25. When you are low on food in the house, you fake a serious illness and get this situation spread around your neighborhood and you mention this when you call in sick at your office, jus to what few caring people will bring you loads of food just so you can save money and loafer a day or two at their expense.

Coming soon . . .”Why I Could Never Work For Alabama Crimson Tide Coach, Nick Saban”

It was reported that Jenna Fischer

who played "Pam Beesly," on NBC's, The Office, was one difficult "female-jerk," at timew to work with according to a few of her cast members who asked to remain anonymous. From
Fischer asking for more than one take to get the scene "perfect," got to be a point of extreme-annoyance to director and producers alike on the hit television show.