Enduring Marriages

My ancestors for generations have had successful marriages. My wife's ancestors have had them too.

Why did those marriages last so well, even in the face of severe trials, hardships, and daily challenges?

Maturity is one good answer. The couples knew at the outset that fairy tales are not reality, and that mutual sacrifice would be called for. Their marriages were based on sound principles.

A common, shared purpose is one good answer. They knew each other's goals and shared them. They knew that success in achieving those goals would take both of them working cooperatively.

Dedication to the family was one of those shared goals. If any decision was not in the best interests of the family as a whole, they searched together for a better one.

As mortal, fallible men and women, they knew that they would each make mistakes and need to regroup. Forgiveness would be needed, if trust was damaged. One, and both, were resolved to work through such times and respect each other's dignity for the long haul.

This is not a discussion of why some marriages fail and fall short of success.

Shared values that are important to the man and the woman, are a key component of marital success. Those shared values make it possible for the couple to be greater than the sum of the parts.

A sense of humor is one good answer. It takes a sense of humor to raise children, and see the humor in knowing that in their youth they had made many of the same mistakes their children would make and overcome.

Love that is based on substance is an essential answer, for sacrifice is essential. When such sacrifice is made on the basis of love, it makes each sacrifice a treasured memory to look back on with satisfaction, thankfulness, and pride.

The ability of each partner to willingly sacrifice for the other is the glue that cements successful relationships.

A young man was once asked about his view of marriage. He had asked for permission to marry a man's daughter. He replied, "Well, I think marriage should be 50/50."

His future father-in-law replied that, if the marriage was to survive all life's challenges, their marriage would have to be 100/100 so that the total was always 200.

He went on to explain that there would be days, weeks, and months...even years...in which the young man and his intended bride might find it difficult or impossible to each give their 100% as in normal times. When those times happen, the stronger partner would need to make up the difference, knowing that their partner would do the same, if the circumstances were reversed.

The young man nodded with understanding knowing full well that he was joining a family where that definition of marriage was understood and practiced.

He and his bride were fortunate to have received such wise counsel and examples to live by.

Half of marriages do not fail. Half of couples fail in their responsibility to the other half.

Every marriage will have weaknesses. It is the combined strengths of the partners which will keep it strong and enduring for their mutual benefit and joy.

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© 2017 Demas W. Jasper All rights reserved.