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Secrets to a Happy and Loving Relationship

Updated on May 26, 2016
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Miss Marsh has been a seasoned writer for 10+ years. She currently holds a BA in Writing and English and has an MS in Psychology.

A happy relationship starts with mutual respect and appreciation

When you respect your partner and let him know how much he means to you, he’ll be motivated to offer the same love and appreciation in return. The concept of a loving relationship is to give and receive, not to take and take. By letting your partner know he is important to you, you’ll encourage reciprocation of his feelings. But, don’t just do things for your partner expecting the same in return. A truly happy relationship is about letting him know how special he is to you, not just getting something for your efforts.


A truly happy relationship is created by spending time together.

Relationships need nourishment so that they do not fizzle out and become boring. If you want to enjoy a loving relationship with your partner, you both need to work at keeping the flame alive. This means igniting the passion you once shared when you were first dating. Bringing back these intense feelings of intimacy isn’t easy, but can be done with a little effort from both partners.

Here are a few ways to create a happy, loving relationship with your partner:

● Leave little notes in his lunch bag for him to read during his lunch break.

● Write ‘I love you’ on the bathroom mirror after a shower, in the steam, so he sees it when he get out of the shower.

● Hug and kiss him daily when goes to work and when he comes home in the afternoon.

● Cook his favorite meal for dinner and buy his favorite beer or mixed drink for a beverage.

● Give him a guys night out with his friends to enjoy himself and let him know what he’s coming back to (surprise him with a romantic and intimate night).

● Offer him breakfast in bed on a lazy Sunday and cook up his favorite big breakfast complete with coffee, orange juice, and the newspaper.

● Give him a nice back massage with scented oils to relax and calm him after a hard day of work.

● Get him a small gift, such as a coffee mug (or whatever you like), and place little post it notes through the house for him to follow directions and locate the gift.

● Give him an hour without responsibilities in the home (if you two have children) and time alone to hibernate without any interruption.

● Take him to see his favorite football team play...this one requires a bit more planning, but is totally worth the surprised look on his face!


Here are a few ways to light the fire in your relationship:

● Always touch one another, no matter how little the touch. Brushing by one another and touching your partner’s cheek or kissing his lips gently at any given moment will keep the passion alive. Hug and kiss your partner constantly in a loving way. Touch each other in every little way possible all the time.

● Make time to make love. Sex is very important in a relationship because intimacy must be apparent in order for a relationship to survive. Try to aim for making love at least twice a week and plan those days if needed. Do whatever you can to make the sex happen in your relationship to enjoy a loving bond.

● Be spontaneous. When couples are together awhile, the spontaneity seems to disappear and creates for a comfort that becomes almost boring. Try to be more impulsive and passionately kiss your man in public, make love in the shower before work, and/or have a water fight in the kitchen. Be upbeat and unafraid to act silly, like you used to when the relationship was new.

● Do less complaining and more complimenting. Over time, the things our partner does can annoy us and drive us mad. But, instead of complaining about what he doesn’t do, why not compliment the things he does do? Maybe he takes out the garbage every Sunday night, helps give the kids a bath, works late to pay the bills...tell him ‘thank you’. Rather than complain about all the things you don’t like about your partner, try telling him you appreciate him for all the things he actually does do.

● Fake sexiness. Even if you don’t always feel sexy, act sexy. There are times after work when all we want to do is get things done for the night and go to sleep. But, giving time and attention to our relationship is important for keeping the passion alive. Think of yourself as sexy and act sexy around your partner. Put on sexy lingerie if it helps. Sometimes all you need to get into the mood is the right state of mind. If you fake that state of mind, the feeling of sexiness usually will follow, so will some hot love making.

● Make time to cuddle. Just as sex is important in a relationship, so too is close bonding. Couples who cuddle a lot stay close and enjoy a loving relationship. When couples connect through non-sexual intimacy, they tell each other how important one another is without having to act on sexual instinct. Hugging is just as vital to keeping the passion alive in a relationship as sex is. In fact, it may just be more so.


Along with keeping the passion alive in your relationship, a happy bond comes from giving each other space.

A relationship where both partners have a life outside of each other is a healthy relationship. It’s easy to get wrapped up pretty tightly in each other’s lives and shut the rest of the world out, but it is not a good idea to do so. Having separate hobbies and interests helps to keep your relationship from getting stale and suffocating. Both partners should do their own thing at least once a week whether it be enter a bowling league, scrapbooking party, poker night, aerobics class, or a book club. It’s important for both partners to have hobbies outside of the relationship where they can get away and take a breather from one another. Couples who spend every waking minute together will only suffocate in the relationship and have trouble finding their own identity.


Couples who want to create a more loving relationship must also learn to fight nice.

Fighting nice means dealing with the issues at hand and not digging into the past to bring up other problems. A happy relationship is also one where couples avoid name calling and verbal abuse during fights. Creating a loving relationship includes communicating your upsets and not yelling or verbally pounding them into your partner. Open discussions are important for getting issues resolved and partners should not hold back things that bother them. If problems in the relationship are talked out on a consistent basis, both partners will learn to fight nice and avoid hurting each other with mean words and behaviors. A loving relationship is one where both partners treat each other kindly, even when they aren’t completely happy in the moment.

Is your relationship a loving, happy one?

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Relationship How-To: Make Your Love Stronger

In what ways do you make your relationship more fulfilling?

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      gabrielle 7 years ago

      i think this web site has really good tips and tells you a lot a of info real facts.