- Gender and Relationships
Every Female's Secret Garden
What secret garden?
When I say "secret garden", I don't mean an actual garden in the back of your house. I mean an imaginary garden. It is the special place you go to for solace. When you are upset, disappointed, lonely, sad; you run to this place to clear your head and make you satisfied in life.
Just like the name, a "secret garden" is not for the world to see. It is a place only for you. Other people aren't supposed to know about your garden. It's a solitary space. It is where you go back to regroup within yourself and recover over anything.
Even if you are in a relationship, it is not for your significant other and you. It is just for you. I'm sure your significant other has their own special place of regrouping. It could be bowling, frisbee golf, video games, football, etc. Guys and girls always enjoy having a sense of their own special place. For some women, their time of regrouping is the relaxation of pampering themselves. It is relaxing, calming, and patient.
What qualifies as your secret garden?
A secret garden could be anything. For some people, it is their favorite subject such as history. By studying a new area they know little about, they are distracted from the world around them. They change their mood, turn everything right around from their perspective just from one subject.
My secret garden used to be calligraphy. Patiently creating swirls and designs with colored ink. Painting a picture in the beauty of words with style and poise. However, your secret garden can always change. For example, mine has morphed into the written words of Jeaniene Frost. By reading these books, I become happy, satisfied with how things are, more interested in the world around me, and entirely enjoying life. And that is how a secret garden is supposed to be.
Is your secret garden strong?
You might never have known that your secret garden existed. Yes, you knew you liked that subject. However, you never realized it could have been better. A secret garden needs to be nourished, watered, and see the sun. If you don't water your garden, it will eventually die and not give you enjoyment after a while. You need to visit it regularly, add more things to your secret garden.
Say your secret garden is calligraphy. Nourish it by purchasing a different ink once a month, some new paper, mastering a new alphabet every six months. If your secret garden is reading, try a new author once every two months, study what you like in a book, think of different story lines you are addicted to, do research within your favorite area of books. It could be romance, mystery, manga, etc.
Where to keep your secret garden?
Think of where your secret garden is kept. Is it hidden in the closet, away from everyone? Is it out on the kitchen table for you to use regularly? Yes, your secret garden is only for you. However, you shouldn't be ashamed of your special space. Try to keep your things in your room. It is fine if your partner knows what your secret garden is. Still, it is wise to keep them out of it.
If your secret garden is reading books, then have a special bookcase just for your favorite books to read when your sad or upset. If your secret garden is calligraphy, have a work desk and then another desk only for calligraphy. If your secret garden is working out, then keep all of your equipment on a shelf or beside the TV for future use in your room.