Faithfulness- Where Has it Gone?
A very dear friend of mine came to me the other day and spilled her guts. She has been cheating on her husband and it has caught up with her. No, he didn't catch her, but her conscience has caught up with her. I was floored, I know her well and never suspected a thing. I did not judge her. We are not here to judge one another, believe me we will face the ultimate Judge in the end. I am her friend and I know we are all human and not infallible. But what moved her to do so? She's been married for 14 years. All seemed well. But she wasn't getting from him what she needed. Is this a reason to cheat? To me the answer is absolutely not. But then I am not her.
Faithfulness, what is it? Is it being true to another individual or is being true to yourself? Or is it both? In my many years of experiences with life, I have found that it is both. I have seen friends cheat and get cheated on. I have seen marriages fall apart and some struggle to get past it and make it work. I have been cheated on as well. I have had individuals, very close to me, come to me and tell me of their temptations. These are idividuals have great, working, loving marriages. And again I am stunned. One came to me before he cheated, but it was borderline then. I explained to him the boundary he was thinking of crossing and he went and talked to his wife and they worked it out. Now they have a very intimate, satisfying sex life.
The young people of today find all kinds of reasons to cheat, well he works all the time, or she is always tired. She doesn't give it to me enough, he wants it to much. What the hell? Make it work!! You have to work at what you want. If you love each other and want it bad enough you will find ways to make it better. If you have a perfectly willing partner at home why are you out there in the bars letting temptation be your guide? Men and women both. If you would just put some effort in pleasing the one you love, you will be pleased yourself. There is more to making love than the act itself. You can make it an sensual art. Something only you and your partner can share. There is so much you can do to please each other. The sky is the limit. We all have needs and we need to convey to each other what we want, what we need. What satifies and what pleases. Explore each others minds and bodies, there is so much that we can get to know about each other. Instead of running off to find instant gratification in anothers arms. If you have any conscience at all it will get to you before anything else does. That is where faithful to yourself comes in.
Temptation is everywhere. In the bars, at the grocery store, at the gas station, etc. It is how you handle the temptation that says who you are. There are individuals who do not care about the people they hurt when they are unfaithful. I believe these people are self-centered and very selfish. I honestly think that people like this will never be happy with any one partner. It is very sad, because when not given the chance to build a solid, loving relationship , those individuals miss out on the essence of life. That deep down sense of being loved and loving. Of enjoying a special intimacy with their partner. For those individuals I say, you are truly missing out on some of the finer things in life.
I believe in being faithful, if I am faithful to myself, not giving into temptation, then I will be faithful to my partner. because in the long run you are cheating yourself when you cheat on your husband, boyfriend, signifcant other, whatever you want to call him/her. Cheating yourself how? You ask. Cheating yourself out of finding out how deep a relationship can go, how much pleasure there is to be found when you search and ask and offer and give of yourselves to each other. Don't be shallow, be deep, there are many hidden treasures there in the deep. You just have to search them out.
So is Faithfulness gone? I don't believe so. I just think that with the fast pace our lives are on these days, we don't have time to stop and appreciate each other as we should. But when it comes right down to the line I believe in my heart that love and faithfulness will win out over all. We all come from the same place, we all have a spirit and a little voice inside. There will be that handful that won't care and will be unfaithful no matter what. But I have faith in hearts and love. Maybe I am a dreamer, but it never hurts to dream.
