Love vs. lust vs. carnal desires
Are you punched drunk love? Is it a form of tempestuous torrid lusting affair, carnal desires of the flesh or an affair for keeps? Find out.
Love is a concept, an abstract , best define and manifested between two people who shared an invisible bond that transcends common logical concepts, established mores, customs and codes of morality. It blossoms from the onset of an established sexual chemistry which conceived, grows and developed into a shared mutual intimacy. Love defies established scientific explanation, nevertheless can be detected or measured by sudden surges, fluctuations and changes of hormonal levels of the biological make up of the individuals involved, positive overhauling of your cognitive landscape, accompanied by influences of the chemical factors and changes transpired in the hypothalamus region of the brain.
But first we will ---- Identifying Lust / Carnal Desires
Lust is an intense raw emotion geared solely for the fulfillment of an overwhelming physical hunger called sex with the person you are physically attracted with. The feelings of pursuit “preclude emotional intimacy” and solely focus on the sexual satiation of the body. After several days, weeks and months of sexual encounters, calisthenics and dates the sexual excitement slowly dies out, because it lacks the precursor to move on the next level which is the desire to seek INTIMACY.
Men with raging hormones are always magnetized on the alluring physical attributes of women, the prettier the merrier for their egos. To run after a woman is a successful hunt of sorts, where pretty popular young ladies are on top of their diet.
A man chases a woman because he wanted to go to bed with her. Sex is the toxic spell that propels a man to run and chase after a woman.
A man pursued a woman because he wants to have sex with her. Yes men are creatures of the flesh, plain and simple! The pretty face, alluring figure, kilowatt smile, terrific sense of humor, smart brain, eloquent, blunt, sweet, innocent, are just some of the reasons. Man is a visual creature, and a pretty vision in a shape of an hourglass is on top of his diet. Men are rabid rabbits, whereby mating a female equipped with functional anatomical parts is essential on their diet.
Repetitive encounters is like an addictive potion, where the man longs for more physical closeness, and whence she responded with equal fervor, sexual encounters thus follows.
Man chases a woman to fulfill his sexual need requirement. A woman chases a man for sex because she longed for intimacy
Sexual need requirement is different from intimacy, a woman must be aware of this polarity, to avoid dead ends of a relationship which does not progress or go anywhere except on bed.
Whence a man is only after the ritual of the sexual act, it is lust. For man to chase a woman he must be lusting for her. Yes lust, like what typical humping dogs do during mating season. Not all lust leads to intimacy. Men can have sex with a female without being intimate. Men are sex driven maniac machines. Lust is the pursuit of carnal desire and lusting men are only after the fulfillment of their carnal desires. If you met one, he will not go all the trouble to really court you, and if you happen to be a hard case to swoon in, he might just lost the gist to chase after your butt and move on to the next on his list.
Identifying Genuine Deeper Affection
Deeper affection has more depth and meaning, it comprises a broad spectrum of a hot pursuit for the satiation of physical hunger, emotional intimacy and mental connection. A one night stand is not a relationship neither it is an affair, it is the pursuit of carnal desire.
Dating is a prelude to an affair which reveals the different facets of the personality of both lovers. Not all affairs are fought with good intentions, the rest are only for the pursuit of the excitement and lust. When the game of chasing each other is over and done, either party loses the interest to go forward to the next level and the short torrid affair falls apart.
Whence an affair is more than just the pleasures of the flesh, the dating phase advanced to the next level surpassing the level of lust. Lust is a temporal sexual arrangement until it gets boring and suffocating.
Lust is all about sex without inclusion of shared emotions. Sex is a tool use to express into action mode the physical desires of the brain. It is the brain that falls in love, and the body acted what the brain dictates. Love is all brain work.
Deeper affection leads towards teamwork. A teamwork is laid down based on the foundation of a level of mutual trust, disclosure of sensitive personal secrets and aspirations. Personality clashes is to be expected but taken as a whole two opposite poles, attract and complements well.. You discover a growth of shared mental excitement to explore each others dream and plans..
The Myriad Affairs for a season, a reason and a lifetime
Intimate affairs do happen for a season, a reason or a lifetime. Lusting encounters lasts for a season to teach you a lesson but lacked the solid foundation to teleport to the next level of feelings of mutual affection only an affectation.
Deeper genuine affection is an affair for a reason where one or both are willing to assist each other to realize potential and endeavors in life while the affair of a lifetime is for keeps, an extension of yourself, your soul mate.
How to identify if what you feel is Genuine Love?
You will realize you are genuinely in love when you are willing to wait, exercising utmost tolerance, patience and perseverance, to where the relationship is going. Your motive and actions is oriented towards service to the other person you most strongly feels passionate with and no longer limited on what you can personally benefit or get from the relationship.
When you are truly in love, your action resonate positive vibes, your mind and heart recalibrates towards charity, empathy acting unselfishly to achieve a positive impact on the life of the person you profess to love.
A real love is not vampiric, it does not suck nor drain the energy of the person you are intimate with. A stressful relationship is not based on love but on selfish motives.
If you think you begin to feel the pangs of love, ask a close friend for an opinion. A punch drunk love is a state of love where one's personal perception is locally focus on his/ her own personal feelings regardless of what might be the dire consequences of the ripple of actions he /she creates in his/ her surroundings.
Genuine Love is unconditional and transcends beyond the limits of separation and death. See Annakarenina by Tolstoy, Tristan and Isolde.
Emotional attachment commences upon disclosure of sensitive, personal information on each other. Disclosure of information travels back and forth between the parties once a level of trust is established. The level of trust to disclose sensitive information and secrets depends upon the degree of the depth of the love affair, the willingness of the concerned parties to willfully disclose tidbits or conglomerate of information hiding behind the closet.
If your boyfriend snores like bull, and your girlfriend is a sleepwalker and yet you cannot imagine life without him/ her then you caught the love bug.
If he is a painkiller dependent, a pathological liar and victim of ritual abuse, how far will you go to pursue love?
Snippets of personal information that travels back and forth, filtered in each others ears will help to evaluate the personality of your lover. Family issues mentioned in passing, job assignments and issues, the circle of friends he associates with, the type of crowd he spent with, friends he socializes, financial worries, celibacy are factors to help you decide to go forward up or cancel the affair.
The Physical Symptoms of Intense Attraction
A beautiful smile lit up your face like a Christmas tree, stars twinkle in your eyes, a heightened sexual awareness, the feelings of adrenalin rush envelops your well being. You wake up each day full of optimism and hope. The person you are most attracted with is always on your mind.
The Universal Signs of Being in Love
You feel immense happiness, inspiring, showing off an uncontested gleeful grin resembling a hippos mouth. The future looks rosy and bright. Every cell and fiber of your body is vibrating, your immune system is strengthened, your positive disposition automatically vibrates on the live of people you surround with your presence and your optimism is highly infectious.
When love begins to germinate inside the personality of an individual, an offshoot of other values will slowly be making unconscious inroads in the over all persona. The person will learn to cultivate patience and understanding on the eccentricities, peculiarities of the one he/ she profess to be in love with.
Wisdom versus Stupidity
It is important to distinguish the difference between feelings of affection anchored on reality versus idiocy or fantasy. Love has extra discerning eyes, which recognizes the truth behind the veiled illusions, shortcomings and faults of the object of your attention. Love is cognizant to evaluate right from wrong.
Stupidity is blinded by the truth and not anchored on reality. To differentiate deeper affection from plain tempestuous torrid lusting affair requires common sense. Your ability to pinpoint, deal and to act accordingly on the personal biological drives and instincts, behavioral algorithms, distorted morality, perverted philosophy you witnessed with your lover is called wisdom.
When two people are having intimate relations, both parties are expected to act based on the premise that the affair is exclusive. The practice of exclusivity is an implied codicil and binding if both parties concerned wish the relationship to succeed. Realistically, there are men / women who abhor imposition, restriction in regards to their movement of freedom and actions.
Speak your Mind
To protect one’s self from emotional meltdown, one must never imposed his / her belief and morality code towards his/ her lover. The best approach is to be aware of each others morality code and philosophy in life. Explain in a concise manner your personal views, expectations and parameters on the ears of the person you are intimate with and let the person decide in his own timeline, while you on the other hand must hold your horses, enjoy the affair while it lasts.
Where your lover is a sexual nomad, meaning someone who is not into commitment, you are hereby advised to terminate the relationship and find someone of your own match.
Love is not selfish, not self serving and possessive, neither jealous. Individual space for growth and personal development is the secret recipe for any couple who wish their relationship to lasts.
Emotional maturity and Wisdom
To recognize love versus temporal aberration requires wisdom. People begot wisdom when they went under the knife of life experiences that taught them a karma, values, loyalty, trust and betrayal.
Love is free of deception and self serving agenda. ( Ask yourself if your lover is manipulative, selfish, deceptive, arrogant). To take advantage of the vulnerabilities and fragile emotion of the person you are having intimate relations with is tantamount to emotional enslavement.
Emotional enslavement is a willful or intentional act to impose control towards your lover by constricting her/ his personal liberties in order to only devout her/his time on you alone. Fragile emotions are adversely taken advantage of which is highly susceptible to several types of manipulations in the guise of possessiveness and jealousy. ( Possessiveness and jealousy are variations of inferiority, insecurity which are toxins, aim to enslave another person).
You cannot control a person like you cannot control the flow of the tides. When you do, you signed a death warrant on your love affair.
The Quest for a Soul mate
All relationships of the heart burst forth from the initial infinitesimal defining moment ---where a man becomes extra aware of the presence of a woman amongst the crowd of people. Intense curiosity meteor rise to acute point, gears in the brain shifted into covert assignment mode, reflecting on the least resistance method to approach and subdue the object of his interest. Primeval instinct gains momentum and encouraged the hunter to find means, and a reason to approach the object of his obsession.
A man filled with good intentions conducts himself in straight forward manner and the words that come forth out of his mouth are devoid of empty promises and lies. If he is in a serious quest to find his soul mate, he will be operating under stealth. Patience will be his virtue, discernment will be his weapon and loyalty will be his bait. He will be seriously putting up the framework for the consecration of his nesting ground
Meanwhile a devious person cloaked in sinister agenda is a loud mouthed pompous ass, too eager to flaunt his wealth, brandishes his achievements and fabricates lies to impress a woman.
Recipe for a successful Hunt
A successful hunt for a soul mate requires a careful and thorough plan. Your chances are good if you are physically fit, the practical reason behind is to perpetuate the future bloodline. Have you notice that dirty old toads or ugly men with lots of disposable cash, always managed to catch a beautiful girl versus a poor good looking specimen of a man.
While it is true you cannot buy love, many girls will barter love for money. Money greatly influences an individual who values comfort and practicality above everything else. Financially stability is a powerful seducer to tempt anybody who prefers a comfort living over emotion. A positive thinker, confident, emphatic, with a good sense of humor and less chips on the shoulders likewise boosts your chances.
Good men are creatures of the flesh and mind. Women are creatures of the heart. A smart, mature man seriously searching for a soul mate wants more than the benefits of sexual calisthenics in bed. He wants the whole deal, a smart, multi tasking, decorative housekeeper who is also a perfect whore in bed. A nesting cougar explores the merits of the affair beyond the requirement of his physical needs
A mature intelligent woman who begets wisdom will be on the look out for a soul mate whom she can depend her life with.
Dispensation of Trust and Respect
Where there is a level of trust, one will gamble and reveal sections of personal information about oneself, family secrets, dirty linens in the closet, to test if your lover will help you carry and dispose the demons on your shoulders and not use the secrets you reveal to ridicule and take advantage of your vulnerability. The information revealed are a privilege and should be treated with caution and respect.
We seek emotional attachment because we wanted to share the joys and burdens of the chips we carry on our shoulders. Humans are basically social creatures. We cannot simply live alone without seeking a companion to spend our life with.
Skeletons in the closet
There are moments of high and lows in a relationship where the admirable characteristics and strong points of the man you admired is toss into the limelight. Sudden unexpected display of the hidden truth and bad habits during unguarded moments spent together should be addressed and discussed, not after you get married.
If you discover your boyfriend or fiancée is bi polar or a D.I.D. sufferer will you terminate the affair or help him cope with his medical condition? If she was a convicted felon will you held it against her?
Acceptance and Setting Boundaries
Never be sidetracked of your intense emotions. You are not a miracle worker. Stop dreaming you can transform a leopard into a sheep. Mental illness cannot be cured by prayers. Personality traits, habits, attitudes cannot go under the knife and turn into beautiful works of art and monuments of good deeds. Set boundaries and draw the line
What would you do when your lover confessed that he sent people to their death? Will you jump ship or hang on for dear life? If she tasted prison life, as a result of the wrong choices and decisions she made, will you disappear? If he tells you he accidentally or intentionally fathered a kid from some derelict skunk, will you send him packing to hell? If she confessed to a collection of many scandalous affairs of the past, will you hang on for dear life and fight for your love. It is a monumental task and the decision is yours alone to make.
Love knows how to compromise, cultivate patience and understands the eccentricities of the person you profess to be in love with. But it will not sidetrack nor blind you of the shortcomings and faults of the object of your attention. Love is not blind. Love has extra discerning eyes that sees the truth behind the veil. Love is cognizant of evaluating right from wrong, good from evil and empathy versus slavery.
Taking the big leap of faith
Commitment is the crux to end all speculations, doubt and fear. Commitment is the lifeblood of the affairs of the heart. Where one is not willing and hesitant to surrender his/her independence, freedom and commit his/ her life to share it with the other for good or bad, the relationship is doomed from the start.
Mature, intelligent men and women do not relish the idea of giving up their valued and priceless freedom and independence without putting up a serious fight. These individuals have gone to hell, live in hell and come back to life emotionally scarred. They must be certain of their decision once they give out their full trust and respect. Commitment is a very precious personal mantra to them. They will reflect, analyze, and reconsider more than a hundred times before they will render their verdict if the partner is worth the trouble, the sacrifice and the freedom they must surrender in order to be with him/ her.