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Falling In Love with A Sociopath – and Getting Out of Sociopathic Love

Updated on March 12, 2015

Sociopath Traits

The following two questions were asked to online community here:

1) Are sociopaths born with sociopathic behavior or are created?

2) How should a man recognize that he has fallen in love with a lady who is a sociopath? How does he get out of this Sociopathic love?

The first question generated very many answers compared to the second question. To me, this meant that people dread falling in love with sociopathic lovers and its better such issues are left untouched. Many people felt sociopathic behaviour is learnt when one is a child especially up to the age of 15 years old. Children whose parents and guardians have this behaviour are very likely to be sociopaths. Others felt that Sociopath Traits are genetically related – if a mad man can give birth to a mad child, then it follows a sociopath can also give birth to a sociopath.

Psychopathic Personality

Sociopath is a disorder which is also called Social Insanity, Psychopathic Personality, and which is currently being referred as Antisocial Personality Disorder. There are more men who are sociopath than there are women. Three out of every 100 men are sociopaths whilst one out of every 100 women is a sociopath.

Sociopath Next Door

The person next door may be a sociopath. It is that common. For a man to fall in love with a sociopathic lady is fairly easy. Ideally, the sociopathic lady will be highly intelligent, creative, and will appear polite. The first thing she will do is to identify and calculate if you are an appropriate man that is easy to manipulate and control. Once satisfied you are the right guy, the next thing is to establish a love relationship with you as fast as it is possible. Female sociopaths are more assertive in expressing themselves than should normally be – the body language will be loud and clear for you to notice. When she wants you, she will just keep on standing closer and closer to you, and sooner she’ll feign and exaggerate her look into your eyes as she exchanges glances with you. This will be accompanied by beautiful smiles that most men are unable to resist. Sooner you will be in love with her.  Now what remains is for her to charm you and you will be singing to her own tunes.

Sociopathic Lady - She will Looks Straight to Your Eyes and Keep on Getting Closer and Closer
Sociopathic Lady - She will Looks Straight to Your Eyes and Keep on Getting Closer and Closer

She’ll Looks Straight to Your Eyes and Keep on Getting Closer and Closer

Most men pride themselves that they can’t shy and look down when a lady look at them straight into their eyes. These men are the easiest catch. Naturally, when you look at that other person straight into the eyes, and he looks straight into your eyes, and you keep on getting closer to him, you both develop strong intimacy for each other that will result perhaps in a kiss. This explains why when we stand very close to strangers in a lift/elevator; we tend to look down because if we did look straight into the eyes of the person next to you, and they did the same, at that closeness, this would result in intimacy which was not in our intension. Any lady who stands closer and closer to a guy, and who looks at him straight into the eyes stands a better chance of getting that guy. If she can’t get the first guy, she will move on to another guy. If this lady can get one guy out of every ten guys, that is alright and she will concentrate on that one catch for a relationship.

She Will Dominate and Humiliate You

Once in the relationship, the next thing you will realize is that the person you fell in love with hardily recognizes your rights but will merely take you as an instrument to be used. She will dominate and humiliate you and there is nothing you will do because the girl will be very charming. A relationship is an equal exchange between partners but here you have someone who will consistently lie to you with no remorse, shame or guilt and still manages to charm you to continue staying in the same relationship with you.

Parasitic Lifestyle

As soon as the love relationship starts, this sociopath will immediately start her parasitic lifestyle and the greatest danger is that she will manipulate and control you without realizing you are being exploited. She may be interested in getting free money from you because deep inside her she believes she is entitled to your money. It’s kleptoparasitism by humans. The Common Cuckoo birds are good at it. The cuckoo believes it has a right to lay its eggs in the nest of other birds to brood them on its behalf. This relieves cuckoo the hassle of investing in rearing of chick and building nests, enabling the cuckoo to spend more time foraging and producing offspring.

Smith and Ann

Let’s look at the case of Smith and Ann who are in love. Ann is a sociopath and believes she can tell lies to Smith in order to get some money. Ann realizes that each day they communicate with Smith in more than 20 sms and perhaps ten telephone calls. One day Ann decides to lie to Smith that her phone is no longer receiving text messages and she needs to take it for repair that will cost $50 which she doesn’t have. Smith, being a man, is expected to fill the missing link and provide $50 to Ann so that the phone can be repaired, otherwise, smith will not be able to communicate with Ann using text messaging. So, Smith provides the $50.

No Voice Calls

Two days latter, the phone that was repaired has fallen down and the ear piece has been damaged. This means no voice calls to her if Smith would wish to communicate to her. To correct the problem, the phone needs to be taken for repair again and has been charged $60 which she doesn’t have. She figure it out that Smith should be a gentleman enough to decode that message and provide the cash needed so that the phone can be repaired and therefore be able to make calls to her lover. Smith being humane and considerate as normal people, he will provide the $60 needed. The next day, and without shame or remorse, she says her tooth is aching and she needed $100 to see a dentist, otherwise, she will not be able to talk to Smith because the tooth is very painful.

Lots of Hostility and Domineering

Any attempt by Smith to resist will be met with a lot of hostility and domineering. Even Smith trying to buy her a new phone will not be acceptable as she has grown used to her phone and only repair can do. It’s a polite way of telling Smith that its cash money she wants. It can be a phone, a car, mortgage payment, or whatever. The lies illustrated here may sound cheap lies but the sociopath is extremely convincing and will always pass most of the lie detectors that you may put in place, and if she didn’t, she never feels remorseful, shameful or guilty, and if the worse come to worse, she may try to harm you, anyway.

Getting Out of Sociopathic Love

To get out of sociopathic love may sound easy to those who have not been there. They will tell you to dump her as she is worthless and a menace. But this is one person who is highly intelligent, creative and polite, and when you are seeing point A, she is past point A and she is seeing point B. The biggest difficult in leaving such a person comes from the fact that you are humane and you for your part are genuinely in love with her. You may want to leave her but it’s impossible to fall out of love immediately and before you do so she will find a new place to touch you to stop thinking about living her. The first thing you have to do is to ask yourself what it is that this lady gives you that are so interesting. In this case it will be love and s*x. These are the two items that you will slowly train yourself to do without.

Simply Pack and Leave Without Word

The question is asked: Do you consider it manly for a husband to simply pack and leave his wife, without word after finding their marriage relationship isn’t getting any better from his sharp-tongued wife, never to come back again? The hubber moncrieff says this,” Men usually do not like soap opera farewells and high dramatic scenes of bitter accusations. Instead, men will leave. It's not like they fear something or they are afraid of facing the problem. They know the problem is there and it cannot be fixed. Plus there's a bit of mystery and unsaid words left... Something left for the future.” I think if you find yourself in love with a sociopathic lady, the best solution would be to borrow moncrieff reasoning, if you can.

Sociopath Symptoms

Here below is a listing of some of the most common symptoms, features and behaviors of sociopaths

  1. Sociopaths Sees Only What They Want
  2. Sociopath Have Superficial Charm
  3. Sociopaths Are Manipulative And Conning
  4. Sociopaths Have No Remorse or Guilt
  5. Sociopath Will Lie Persistently
  6. Sociopath Have No Problem In Violating Rights For The Others
  7. Sociopath Have Extreme Sense Of Entitlement
  8. Sociopath Can Become Violent And Harmful
  9. Sociopath Have Persistent Feeling Of Agitation And Depression
  10. Sociopath Do Not Like Boredom
  11. Sociopaths May Not Stay In One Love For Many Years
  12. Sociopath May Not Keep One Job For Long
  13. Sociopaths Like Promiscuity And Gambling
  14. Sociopaths Have No Concern or Feeling For Their Impact On Their Victims
  15. Sociopaths Do Not Accept Blame; – That One Never.

The biggest problem of female sociopath on a man is that a man is most likely to ignore what his gut instinct is trying to tell him about the woman, because he blindly thinks she wants him.


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    • PrncsMagz17 profile image


      2 years ago from PH

      i must be a sociopath! thanks :)

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 

      2 years ago from Philippines

      It is very interesting to learn about women sociopaths and how they operate on men. It is also surprising that men can really be dominated by women sociopaths. This is a most arresting article.

    • profile image

      Mako Mourning 

      4 years ago

      This is all very real. I'm having a baby with a text book sociopath. I had 0 idea. In this day and age we must google people first. Don't make the same mistake I did. The pain is very real as is the 18 years I must deal with this devil woman. They do not and will not care. Sex is their in. They will hit you with the old bait and switch. Don't be fooled.

    • profile image


      4 years ago

      I met her at work and instNtly fell in love with her. Incredibly beautiful super smart intoxicatingly engaging stunning g war ing sexy..dream girl. I'm a photographer and we ended up having to do some work together and while we both had partners at the time they were ending. Well mine was we were both unhappy and I decided to end it so we cod take some time and find our own happyness. I then started seeing this girl at work who told me she had broken up with her man as well..we fell in love deeply and on every level she made me so happy, then she pulled back said we were going to fast so I gave it some space, then she came back to me. It was testing but over the course of one year she completely ruined me. I found out she was still seeing her ex for months while we were dating we got engaged and I found a message she sent him the next day sYing she was still keen to go away with him for the weekend. She lied cheated manipated and abused me on every level. Even when I confronted her with the knowledge of her infidelity she denied it and called me phyco.. I then took her. Ack believing that she said she made a mistake and wanted me..a month in I caught her lyi go again. I was releness I cid to bear toey her go but I couldn't love like I was killing me, we are perfect together in so many ways but she has drained me of all my trust self worth and now even if she was telling the truth I wod to know. I'm scared I can. Ever trust again my self confidence is shattered and I still want her. Now she is telling me she doesn't a my me because I'm depressive and she. Reds someone who uplifts her. It's perexi g confro ting depression g and I feel so alone. Deep emotional connections trust and honesty mean the world to me and I honestly have never been suicidal but I don't know what to do I'm damned if I do dam ex if I don't.. She won't talk to be will not take any resposiblkty refuses to get help or aknkedge that my feelings are warranted. I'm seeing an oh olivier for the first time in my life after an episode where I had no control over my thoughts...she has broken me in every way. I am a mess as is my life

    • profile image

      Kevin mason 

      4 years ago

      I spent 4 years with a sociopath. It's crazy that someone else has been through thus as well. Praise God I got out. Great hub

    • misterhollywood profile image

      John Hollywood 

      4 years ago from Hollywood, CA

      This was a very informative hub! I think the information you shared is helpful to all!

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      I have fallen deeply due to an unexpected wicken like spell to where I have gone to opposite ends of the universe and back in search of this rare and precious connection i now have for whom I know is positively my soul mate. I Would give my own life 20 times over while enduring the utmost excruciating pain one could possibly imagine, for as long as I knew that this would spare hers. The look she emits into my eyes flows deep into my mind and comforts my soul convincing all instinctual rejection to ease up and go with the flow. I have never felt this way about anyone, this is it! this is what ive only read about in books or have seen in movies . Yes it is! This warm, intoxicating feeling is better than any drug i have ever experienced. ITS TRUE LOVE!! And I never want it to leave. Finally Im experiencing the greatest gift man has ever known. TRUE UNCOMPRIMISED LOVE.

      ......But wait! What do you mean? Theres no more left? How could this be? You promised, Gave me Your word and I gave you mine, to forever be there for you until the end of all mankind. And this lifelong journey has led me to the edge of existance where i shall now stand sit and wait promising my self that that the love I crave is mereley running late, but i shall soon see that all i have grown to love in this world was simply a mirror of a non existent reality played out to me by a cold and heartless selfish young girl. But then to my surprise I catch in the distance a slight glimpse of her, i then run closer only only to me met by none other than Lucifer.

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 

      5 years ago from Minnesota

      Great article on the sociopath. I have a family member that was married to one for many years. Her life was a living hell with him. Unfortunately, she still has some contact with him because of the children.

      Sharing this useful hub.

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Just dated a sociopath woman for a year. Smooth talker, fast thinker, charming, charismatic and crazy sex. But she was manipulative and mean. Self centred and had no regards for other's feelings. A full on sociopath. All she did was take, take, take. Cost me a fortune.

    • lawdoctorlee profile image

      Liza Treadwell Esq aka Liza Lugo JD 

      6 years ago from New York, NY

      Interesting article. Thought you might like to read my article on Hub Pages: The Psychopath and Antisocial Personality Disorder.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I was in a relationship with a sociopath for 7 years, he finally left me, after he realised I recognised him for what he was, but I still didn t want him to leave. I knew he was doing me a favour at the time, but the pain of it was unreal.

      At times I am still confused as to if he is really a sociopath or not, I still blame myself sometimes.

      Yet it was all a lie from the start, there were always other women, even though he acted like a perfect man. It felt like a perfect romance to start with, I d never experienced anything like it, but the whole time it was a lie. I think that is what hurt the most, something that felt so special, was never ever true. One of the most convincing liars I d ever meet. I am normally a good judge of people. Ultimately though he seemed so empty inside, like something was missing, next time I ll trust my gut.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I can validate that the power of prayer is real, it fought off the evil spirit that tried to posess me (sociapath) . She finely showed her true colors in front of me and i then understood how much of a lier she was , especailly when she said i had to support her no matter what, even if she lied and intentionly hurt someone, I knew then what she was and thank god my family welcome me back, it was ONLY god watching over me and listening to my families prayers that brought me thru or i would be married to her by now and regreting it the rest of my life. praise the lord .

    • profile image

      Heartbreak hell 

      7 years ago

      Im a victim and could not let go

      He cheated on me all the time and I was so manipulated and emotionally abused I could not let go. Had a child and I live in constant hurt for my son and myself. Getting stronger by the day by realizing how sick he is. My words of wisdom: Run and never look back. And if your semi- stuck like me just keep on praying especially for them!!!..........,peace and love to all!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Woman from my work I had gotten involved with seems to be a classic.

      Showed me lot of attention while my wife and I were going through a bad time which led to me falling in love with her.

      Just starting to realise that she fits all the traits above and when going through one of her many incommunicados which tore me apart I found out she slept with another guy.

      Gutted is not the word as I feel angry, resentful and did not realise I was so gullible.

      Just want to get back to being my happy self instead of thinking about her and still hoping it will work out - what the hell is that about

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      It doesn't get better-only worse. My ex boyfriend and many family members are sociopaths. I couldn't believe I fell for it again, but he had studied me for a while to know what I wanted and how to push the right buttons to trick me. I don't think they are smarter but they find people whose attention is drawn elsewhere and aren't able to fully see the bug picture it just people who are extremely naïve. Everything about him was a lie and I have no love for him at all. I didn't love him. I loved a fictional character that he created for me and everyone else. He had a bad temper too over nothing. I know in m heart and firmly believe it is genetic first. They tend to mimick the behaviors of the environment they grow up in. That is why they come in all different types of personalities.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I am an 20 year old male who was confused about a girl in the department store where I work I like her so much She send me mixed message all the time and I just cant cope with it anymore and i was very confuse on how to tell her that i love and cherished her. So i went online searching for help and i meet the I tell him for some help which he did some spell casting for me which make her realize the same love i have for her and now I can see that my wish is starting to come true from the make anyone fall in love with you spell. She is starting to look at me and smiles differently now and I can tell that she was falling in love with me because of the spell. I ask her out last Friday and i could not believe she told me she truly love me and she do not think she can do without me that was what she said to me. I am pleased to have had some part in it really and it was so easy and yet spiritual. I want the to know that all the wishes came through these authentic love spells, she stares at me all day long and gets jealous when I have a female customer,i am so happy.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      For the ones that finally figured it out , what was the final thing that made you realize it wasn't love but control, did people(even new friends) let you know it wasn't a normal relationship and if they did , how did you finally process it to get away? I see it then i don't cause she makes me feel good , when its good its real good but when its bad its real real bad. i feel like i can walk away but for some stupid reason i go back and believe all the lies, I always think things will change. can they

    • Apology4Wolves profile image


      7 years ago from Kentucky

      Sociopaths are everywhere. They make money with ease at jobs like stockbroker and used car salesman. Wall Street has a disproportionate share of sociopaths.

      I think many high level politicians are sociopaths or similar.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I recently ended it after a year with my sociopathic boyfriend. He called me every name in the book throughout the relationship but the one I remember the most is "insane" or "crazy." He almost had me thinking it even though i was the one working, the one going to school, the one calling when he needed me. They will make you think you're the parasite. You will know the truth through their projections. They deep down know what they are but can't face it so they put it on you. It's not love. I'm coping with that realization now.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      stunning their lies and to watch and know ...i would go back and back with disbelief that it could be true my stomache would ache i would try to deny for over ten years...back and forth just amazing all true

    • Courtney Leah profile image

      Courtney Leah 

      7 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      Are you sure that that stat is right? I think more and more people have these problems, dear.

    • profile image

      CJ Sledgehammer 

      7 years ago

      Well written Hub and very informative. Unfortunately, it hits very close to home and I can verify everything you said here as being "spot on". Voted up across the board, except for "funny", because this is no laughing matter.

    • vicki5897 profile image


      7 years ago from South suburbs of Chicago

      Wow! Very interesting! I have read up on some characteristics on Sociopaths myself. My daughter's father is one and we just get along for our daughter, but if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have ANYTHING to do with him! One thing I've seen you mention that I haven't seen brought up too often with sociopaths, was being unable to keep a job. That is exactly right! My ex is 31-years-old and he doesn't work. He said it is due to health problems, but there is nothing wrong with him. He is making himself believe his own lies so he can get sympathy. Great hub! Loved it!

    • lawdoctorlee profile image

      Liza Treadwell Esq aka Liza Lugo JD 

      7 years ago from New York, NY

      Great Hub. Very well written. A relative of mine was involved with a sociopathic female. I have had the unfortunate experience of having 2 male sociopaths in my life..both of whom I cut off without a word that I was doing so.

      Recently, I wrote a Hub entitled The Psychopath and Antisocial Personality Disorder, in case you would like to read it. After much research, I wrote a paper on the subject in college and decided to turn it into a Hub.

      Keep up the great writing. Voted up!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I had a child with a socio-path and I have never been fooled but I still had to play a game for six years. She was always a liar, manipulator and deceiver. Our relationship ended about 4 years ago and I fed her carrots in monetary forms so that I could see my child. Never in all this time did I ever see a moment of compassion or love. I was legally harassed to the point that I beat her at her own game. I did it three times and every person she manipulated accept the last ones eventually turned against her. I have proven her a liar so many times that her own guilt should eventually kill her. She has made victims for years and when she told me her story about them I never believed her. I can not say that I did not suffer but I did see my child for 4 years. Her other children left her as soon as their fathers asked for them when they were old enough to do so. The first child's father had never stayed in touch. She spent weeks after finding him on face book tracking down every woman he had ever met to attack him and this was 20 years after the fact. She went to her sons graduation and he was with a woman and I was chopped meat as she became a drunken idiot. At this point she was at my house because she was homeless and I set her up as she had done to me when I actually tried to live with her several years earlier.In truth she set herself up because I made plans for her own self destruction. I had only let her in to keep my child off the street and I put her right back on the street. You see there is nothing you can do. They never tell you what is wrong but make plans to manipulate you and then they attempt to kill you. Imagine a 4 year old and your telling that child his mom has found a new victim and that she will soon take you away and you will never see me for a long time. Imagine being me and knowing that if you continue to play this game that she will do everything to hurt you when she completes her plan. You reach a point that all you can do is say good bye and no longer have contact. Imagine that your 4 year old tells you, daddy I am going to escape and find you. No I have not seen my child since and every day is a funeral and I am the parent of a missing child. I had others at my house to greet me for the legal harassment I expected and yes the police showed up on her lies as predicted. I was not even afforded a last good bye, the people who were there to protect me broke down and I had to comfort them, because they did not believe me or that a person could be so cruel. I forgive her every day and ask God to forgive me but do not believe that some people can ever be forgiven. Why, because I will hate her everyday all over again and there is nothing I can do until my child is with me again. I pray for her destruction like a curse and I know that God hears me and knows my pain. Its only a matter of time before her next victim eventually has enough. Until then I can finally live and know what real people are like and not demons. I hurt because I have been dead for so long and I realized it the day she took the only reason I was still alive and now only anger keeps me alive.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Great subject, most of us know very little about these dark souls who walk among us which helps them to remain invisible and prey upon us decent human beings. Recognition of sociopathic behavior is our only armor against them, so information is knowledge and knowledge is power. We must shine the light on these dark souls through knowledge, sunlight is the best disinfectant. I highly recommend the ebook "A Sociopath Beside Me" by Junie Moon, an eye opening journey into the mind of a sociopath.

    • Virtual Treasures profile image

      Kacie Turner 

      7 years ago from Michigan

      Great hub! I've added a link to my two hubs on Sociopaths.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      That "I still love her" crap gags me...

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Very well written.

      I've just realized that I've been with a sociopath for years. I feel so broken so confused. I still love her and want to fix her I can't understand that the woman of my dreams is a sociopath, I'm in denial. I want her back and fix her my heart tells me, but it's won't work my brain tells me. My heart is fighting my brain. Will I ever recover the emotional damages. I still love her.

      Thank you for the article.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Sorry everybody, pushed sudmit to fast.

      To finish the story:

      Bababa.... Like working a 12 hour work day and coming home feeding, cleaning and putting to bed the other two kids. Wasn't supporting. Anyways.... They have reopened the case and made me jump through hoops to prove myself. I have to say that athorities r seeing thinks from side. They just don't know what to do.

      So.... What have I learned? Don't ever think that you will out think one. They are just to start! I have found that with my wife as long as I keep the house in a state pan order and let her think she has control. She can be reasonable. That and just realize that there is always going to be a lot of drama in our house. Sucks.... But it what needs to b done for the kids.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      My wife hired a female to be her aide. Although we knew her for many years and watched her grow up we really didn't know her at all as it turned out. After a couple of years, my wife was called away on business for a few months. It was the first time I had to work closely with the aide, as I never really wanted to get involved in my wife's day to day business. I had already retired from two great jobs, and didn't want anything more to do with the corporate world. At any rate, like out of the blue, this girl started showing an interest in me beyond that of a professional relationship. It all happened very quickly. She was charming, engaging, and seemed to enjoy my company very much. She started telling me personal stories about her life, evoking the pity play on a few occassions. I can't explain it, but she seemed able to press my buttons very easily, like she had been studying me or something. She knew I was upset that my wife was away and played that aspect effectively. She told me that I deserved better. I was floored!! She then told me that I had been her fantasy boyfriend for years...Since I was 30 years her senior, all I could do was laugh, finding it hard to believe. By now there were enough red flags to line a May Day parade, but for some reason, I failed to acknowledge them. I have to admit, I did enjoy the attention she heaped on me, and she knew it. She texted me often, saying she was bored and how much she valued our friendship. It was all pretty intoxicating. One night when I was out drinking with some friends she texted me and asked me to come by her house on my way home, that she had something she wanted to show me. When I arrived at her house and walked up the pathway, she opened the door wearing a skin tight shorts and a very sexy silk nighshirt. She gave me a hug and took me directly to her bedroom which was filled with scented candles. She fell on her bed stomach first, looked back at me and said, "You like what you see?" I looked at her gorgeous body I was speechless..I finally told her I better go. She laughed and told me she'd see me the next day. I could hardly sleep that night, wondering what that was all about. There is a lot more to this story but its getting late. I would like to share the rest with anyone willing to listen (call it therapy), but wouldn't want to bore the rest of you.

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 

      7 years ago from Lagos

      You ve done wonderfully well with this piece. It proved helpful

    • Karen N profile image

      Karen N 

      7 years ago from United States

      It's surprising just how many sociopaths you can encounter in your lifetime. Personally I believe it's an inherited as well as a learned trait.

    • Aceblogs profile image


      8 years ago from India

      Wow , really nice content , pretty useful and handy information you have shared .

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Dated a sociopath...was totally consumed by the manipulating and lying. I'm usually really good with people and catching on to personalities and characters? But not this time. Totally off guard! It didn't take me too long though...I am always into psychology stuff and plan to major in it, I pulled out my Diagnostic statistical manual(because I was already reading it...since I have it around and it just fascinates me) and started looking up stuff that fit him(probably sounds so wrong, I was just curious) and then, I found sociopath. I denied it for a while, even after researching it more and learning the whole disorder more...and studying others, too. But, it clicked. Eventually, the lying got, rediculous...he stole all my illnesses for his own attention and was bitterly angry with no remorse towards his own family. He even said things to my own mother. Horrible things...and tried to isolate me from my family. I couldn't even be away for a certain amount of time without seeing/texting him without him freaking. That was unacceptable. And of course, nothing was his fault. It's always somebody's or mine or something. You know? Eventually, he "had an eating disorder" which is something I had struggled with for years and am trying to recover from. This is after he was already taking many of my other illnesses too, for his own way of gaining more attention for whatever needs he needed. Sympathy, whatever. It was creepy. I said, no more. He then changed his whole story when he saw I was actually not "in his charm" anymore...he was better, of course. Ate and everything, after torturing me into a relapse from being around, that. But, there was never remorse. And eventually, I left. It was hard, I thought there would be a lot of chaos to it. It was a long night, but it was the best thing I could have done for myself. Of course, even when I left and I did this over phone for the better and made it clear that due to the lying and eating, I had to go. I had almost died once and I was heading down there again due to the relapse he pushed on me...of course, there was no remorse. It was all about what this did to him. My fault, this. That, blah. I've never seen such hideous behavior...

      He has even stated that he wished his family would die then when I would be shocked, that they would disappear forever.

      It's sickly. I'm still trying to get rid of the confusion and get back to reality.

      Obviously, I'm not a professional, I have no right to say anyone's a sociopath, but some out for them and act as you can, a.s.a.p! This post was very informative.

    • profile image

      Luminferous ether 

      8 years ago

      Similar to the rest of the unfortunates in here, I too was involved with a sociopath. I met her online, she was stunningly beautiful both online and in person. She was from abroad, she used me to enter the USA, and she used our child as her insurance ticket. She suddenly left me after being in the USA for less than a year with me, after which she left our state of residence to live with a relative of hers in another state. She then tried to con me into believing that I was mentally ill and that her actions in leaving were justified. She took our child with her when she left. She continued to manipulate me after she left, claiming that she loved me etc. and that I needed help. All the while, she was really waiting until she became a resident of her new state after which she attempted to have me served an order of protection. Fortunately, I had already filed for divorce and was attempting to have her served, otherwise, my court hearings would have taken place in the state that she is a resident (had she successfully served me first). In her order of protection, she alleged that I had attempted to harm our child on 2 separate occasions, and that I had been physically, financially, verbally and emotionally abusive to her. After my court hearing, the court ordered that my child be returned to me, hence, the court did not buy her allegations. After my child had been returned to me, my ex attempted to reverse her stance. She tried to manipulate me into taking her back, although she would not directly state that she wanted to return.

      Unfortunately, although I have full-physical custody, we share joint-legal custody of our child. She's allowed to hear our child over the phone for 15min 2x a week. She is also allowed to spend 4 weeks with our child 2x per year. She has seen our child very minimally since she left. When she has seen our child, after my child returns home to me, she attempts to emotionally manipulate our child over the phone. She does this through toys that she allowed our child to play with during her time with our child. She does not let our child take the toy home, rather, she tries to manipulate our child by stating that if our child does not say words or phrases that my ex wants to hear, then my ex will say that she'll give the toy to one of his friends in the state that she resides. My child responds to her manipulation.

      There is more, but I would rather not give too much detail, as I am paranoid that she will find what I’ve written and then use that updated information on my perception of the situation so that she can attempt to manipulate me again. Any constructive comments on how to deal with this situation would be greatly appreciated.

    • jamiesweeney profile image


      8 years ago from Philadelphia, PA

      Great information about sociopathic. I love reading more hubs of you, ngureco.

    • ljp profile image


      8 years ago from Chicago

      Just found out I was involved with a male sociopath. Can look back at events I never understood, but I can now. Now, I wonder at the damage he's caused. How do I recover from this? I am in therapy but would appreciate comments about how you survived.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      If you are in love with a charming, manipulative, compulsive lying, hypersexual sociopath like I have been for 6 years and want to stay with him/her - you can play the game, too. I am no fool. I see what he is but he has a pension and some great health benefits that I don't have. So - it's win/win. He gets my ultimate attention, I am good looking, intelligent, talented, and giving. He likes me because I treat him like a King. I do spoil him and I know he manipulates me for money. Why do I stay? He's rarely in a bad mood, he makes a woman feel like the sexiest person on the planet ( along with all the others I suppose), he's positive, he's a bold dreamer, he loves the same things I do and we enjoy our time together. Maybe I like the drama as I grew up in an abusive household. I figure we could both use therapy, knowing he'd just sit there and lie/flim flam the therapist because he would never admit anything is wrong with him -- and me? What's the point? I'm too old now and I"m just having whatever fun I can have. PS I have ALL my money in a trust for my children and do NOT combine finances with this man. My name is on NOTHING of his. He's horrible with money -- Sounds neurotic but works for us. I'd miss him like all get out if I lost him. Lots of different kinds of people in this World and they do say.. there is a lid for every pot. Maybe he's my lid. Don't know. Maybe I like a challenge. No clue. Good luck to all.

    • selfdefenselesson profile image


      8 years ago

      Lol this sounds like a lot of girls I've dated.. I must been with a lot of sociopath then or perhaps I just give out that effect on the ladies.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Bam, you have bagged the monster, I am witness to the facts.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      there are so many sociopaths in the military it's ridiculous i've gotten serious mental beatings and it takes a strong will to resist these outrageous influences

    • Sun-Girl profile image


      8 years ago from Nigeria

      Wow, what an interesting read i had in here, thanks a lot for exposing my knowledge to things they haven't heard about with this article, am pleased.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Very good article and very good comments by people who went thru a sociopath. I'm getting over one, don't want to rehash things, except to say this: A sociopath will NEVER admit to fault and will NEVER have empathy for anyone but themselves. Think we all know that, don't we?

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I am currently in a relationship with a classic female sociopath.

      She is divorced single mother of 3 children. The reason I have seemed to have fallen for her is because #1..She was just there all the time and seemed to grow on me and the sex is amazing.

      I knew there was a problem right away. She was a texting machine. It was hard to keep up especially she mentioned that she did NOT want to be ignored and would start an argument if i didn't text right away back. After a few days of the honeymoon period Then she switched her mood on me after a misunderstanding of tone on a text. She flew into a rage from a simple, harmless text that she turned into a huge issue.

      Her temper went from a level 1 to level 10 in 1 sec. skipping all the other levels in between.

      Her behavior-

      Rage- can be very intense. Nose bleeds, major side effects from her rage

      Does not want to be ignored

      All about her- literally

      Zero concern about me. Im lucky if she ask how I am.

      I've spent $10K on her in 7 mos. and she has spent .99 cents( Valentine's Day card).

      Twist every story

      Confuses me

      Alienates me from my friends

      Very critical of me


      Loves to bully

      Gets in fist fights with girls at clubs. (5 in 7 mos.)

      Very negative. Everything out of her mouth is some sort of downer.


      Plays the I have a physical illness or I have 3 children card or some sort of self pity.

      When in a rage does not care at all who is around.she says she goes into a state of Im going to cause physical damage to someone.

      I have to agree with her in order to not fight but that seems not to work all the time.

      She insist that Im the one who needs help. That Im crazy

      Her parents-

      Dad was a verbally abusive womanizer but spoiled his daughter

      Mom would drag the kids and confront these women all the time. She hated her daughter.

      Her children - boys seemed to be scared of her and daughter(oldest) just rolls with it.

      I could write a book about her...I never people like this existed.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      my son is in a relationship with a girl that from the beginning I knew something wasn't normal, i tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, since I knew my son was falling for her (quickly also 5 weeks) live in a small community, never met somone who did the things she did and said, couldn't figure it out. within weeks totally had won my son over,treated us disrespectful, alienated him from his whole family,and within 3 months had him moved out, into a fully furnish apt. until i got onto this site I thought he was going crazy, but now understand completely how it all happened and so quick, He doesn't have a clue what she is or what shes capable of but by talking to people from her area i know she is definitly a sociopath,HOW CAN I HELP HIM.. to see what she is before it's too late? He's a really good guy with not a clue because she has put a wedge between his family and friends, he doesn't come around please help me if anyone has any answers. by the way the mother is also a socio.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      now that you explain it that way a probably know a few sociopath

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I am married to one and trying to divorce her. She went from "I love you more than anything" to calling my family trying to convence them I am someone they know I am not. She has contacted my employees to tell them I am going to fire them or do something to them and even accused me of killing my late wife when I cornered her on some of her lies. Married for 3 years and she is fighting for half of everything my late wife and I had. Shespotted me, played me and had me married within 5 weeks of mmeting her. I was a sucker and now am about to loose everything. Her lies flow easally and with a smile. Amazing

    • sparkster profile image

      Marc Hubs 

      8 years ago from United Kingdom

      Great hub on a very important subject. Thanks.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Now that I've just join this Site,with a So-call Friend? I hope

      Am in right place also! Reason for what about to say.

      Ok here go!u met this Person about 3yrs ago just forget this not Right?let say

      I try to help her a lot more than any person should.I care a lot,thingis she told me

      I was this just Nevermind o

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Hi, I lived with a narcisstic sociopath for 6 months. He was very charming, intelligent. But says continuous lies and had many affairs. After I left him, (or he made so many dramas that I was made to go out of the home by his parents) he happily married a girl. He is living with that girl for more than 3 years now. I am living in vain unable to forget him because of the love I had for him. Tough I know, I have to forget him and move on..I cant help it. I really wonder if I were wrong, as he is able to live with another girl for 3 years. Please help me out of this

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Great Article!

      I feel for you and all who have experience this unpleasant event in life.

      I've just got out of a relationship with a sociopath, still licking my wounds, and thank the God above it only took 13 'active' months of my life to get the hell out!

      Some poor souls on this blog, I've read has taken decades!

      All and all, I wouldn't give 13 seconds, knowing what I know now.

      Personally, they the experts can come up with all of the fancy names and terms, for this condition, like sociopath, bi-polar, etc.

      Me personally I just think its some sort of demonic possession (I know crazy, huh?), but some of the things I've witness didn't make any sense what so ever!!!

      All and all, I don't hold any animosity for the woman I've once loved. I feel pity for her, and if there was a way I could set her free from what she is feeling and has to endure, I would do it in a New York second.

      Yeah, they (she) raise holy hell on us (me), but honestly, I wouldn't wish what she and others are going through on my worst enemy.

      Additionally, the author of the article forgot two other attributes or characteristics of this type of individual.

      which are

      The individual stricken with this infliction has

      1. The tendency of getting angry over things that wouldn't otherwise bother a normal person and channel that anger to her unsuspecting victim.

      2. Has some deep seated rage, they never got over.

      It gets better, though, after a couple of months, I can start to laugh a little...

    • Becky Mages profile image

      Becky Mages 

      8 years ago from Omaha,NE

      Great hub! This is one of the better ones I have read on here so far! Excellent job!

    • fucsia profile image


      8 years ago

      Great Hub! It made me reflect on my story one more time.

      My ex-partner is probably a sociopath, and in a sense I was too. The comparison with him and with the problems arising from our relationship, has opened my eyes to myself. I believe that mine was not love, but an unconscious need to face my limitations.

    • phiphi profile image


      8 years ago from USA

      Great hub, written very well, and so true but how scary to get involved with a person like this.Being in a relationship with one of these things left me emotionally, physically, mentally and even spiritually drained. You will end up very tired and just run down, I ended up afraid (anxiety issues) with just about everything. After she got tired of screwing with me she ran off with a work mate. It was the best thing to have ever happened to me. At the time it was the worst pain I’ve ever gone through. Even now I’m still rebuilding my life and trust in females. i learned from counseling for abused women never to commit to a relationship before knowing a person at least six months, in which time he hasn't been verbally abusive, jealous or possesive, or tried to rush you into commitment.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      This was so interesting to read! I hate to admit it made a few bells ring about an old friend of mine, but I think there's an explanation, lots of things wouldn't add up- it would just be so bizarre! I guess nothings set in stone though.

    • cathylynn99 profile image


      8 years ago from northeastern US

      was engaged to a sociopath. i was a doctor. he was a lab tech and an accomplished musician. i was madly in love with him. it took some time, but i broke up with him because he hit me.

      he had a strict but physically abusive mom and a permissive dad. the mixed messages could have made him who he was. he blamed his probs on Nam, but he was a mess before going to war.

      a year or so after the breakup, i was okay again. now i'm married to a genuinely sweet guy, not one who does a good job of pretending to be sweet to eventually take advantage of someone.

      i learned from counseling for abused women never to commit to a relationship before knowing a person at least six months, in which time he hasn't been verbally abusive, jealous or possesive, or tried to rush you into commitment.

    • ladypatience profile image


      8 years ago from Missouri

      Sounds like a Black Widow complex.

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Demander 

      8 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Met one. Married one. Stayed fearful and trapped for twenty years. Got a spine. Got free. I wish I had seen your warning twenty years ago. It was a long journey.


    • profile image


      8 years ago

      You’re more likely to meet more than one sociopath. 1 in 25 people are said to be these things. Personally, i think it’s higher.

      Anyone that makes you feel

      Guilty often

      Pity for them often

      Confused often

      Does this person

      Get Quick to anger

      Forgets things said (lies often) or contradicts themselves often.

      Fakes emotion, has a temper tantrum like 4 year old etc Turns tears off and on quickly.

      Anger takes time to build. It’s not generally rapid. Tears aren’t like a tap. When you’re upset, you don’t just stop crying. It takes time to calm down.

      I spent a long time with two of these, one I was with for 10 years. The other was a best mate of even longer, both showed many many signs that I ignored not knowing such people exist. Once you've been with one you quickly learn how to spot others. You start to hear what they're saying and watch their actions. Rather than the fake display of emotions and charm they put on.

      Most of all trust your gut. If you find yourself looking at a person and seeing something that’s not quite right, something just out of reach that you can't explain. Step outside of the situation and look in. Are they using any of these things on you, guilt, pity, fear, obligation, embarrassment etc. Then analyse if you'd do the same thing in the situation (is it called for) Then start to write down things and make a note of it. If it happens often, get this person out of your life!

      Being in a relationship with one of these things left me emotionally, physically, mentally and even spiritually drained. You will end up very tired and just run down, I ended up afraid (anxiety issues) with just about everything. After she got tired of screwing with me she ran off with a work mate. It was the best thing to have ever happened to me. At the time it was the worst pain I’ve ever gone through. Even now I’m still rebuilding my life and trust in females.

      If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t. Get out!

    • Naomi Rose Welty profile image

      Naomi Rose Welty 

      8 years ago from Savannah, GA

      Jasmine JellyBaby, you are likely to meet at least one sociopath in your life, but now you know what to look out for. Sociopaths and other disordered people, like narcissists, tend to get relationships moving very fast. If you find yourself being drawn into a relationship -- romantic or friendship -- very fast, slam on the brakes and think about what's happening and whether you are hearing any tiny, distant alarms. They usually ring but are drowned out by the other person's manipulative charm.

    • profile image

      Jasmine JellyBaby 

      8 years ago

      wow, I thought such people only exist in the movies.. haven't met one yet and thanks to this hub I won't be meeting any socialpaths! Thanks for the info, great hub

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Liberating. An eye opener

    • dawnM profile image

      Dawn Michael 

      8 years ago from THOUSAND OAKS

      Number 4 is really the clincher no remorse or guilt that is what makes them so scary along with the fact like you stated high intelligence. When you asked this question before you wrote it you wanted to know if it was a trait that someone was born with and I said no it is more learned, but I do think however there is a possibility of a predisposition to this behavior. The right personality for this to occur when placed in an abusive or neglectful home. That is where the difference is possibly

      Great hub, written very well, and so true but how scary to get involved with a person like this.

    • mythbuster profile image


      8 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

      I've been around some anti-social/sociopathic people. I can really identify with the "no blame" and "entitlement" explanations here. The people I know who I think are sociopathic display an inability to be accountable for ANYTHING and boldly state they feel everything and everyone in the world owes them things or that they have a right to any and everything - with absolutely no remorse whatsoever (a right to someone's husband or wife, their money, possessions and relationships, too). Very toxic people you want to cut ties with, in most instances, and unravel yourself from if you're already involved.

      Great hub, 94ngureco - some nice examples displayed and some easy to understand points.

    • dallas93444 profile image

      Dallas W Thompson 

      8 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

      Met one, married same: divorced four months later.. She forged and stole everything she could...


    • Earth Angel profile image

      Earth Angel 

      8 years ago

      Dearest N . . .

      Thank you for sharing the above Hub . . . Many of us have been there . . .

      It is obvious that you are writing from experience . . . And that you wanted the woman to read your words . . .

      I hope your pain eases over time and that you find a wonderful person with whom you can spend your life and love . . .

      Blessings always, Earth Angel . . .

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      8 years ago from London, UK

      Your hub was an eye opener for me. All these points were exactly my ex-husband. I realized tpp late that he was sadistic but these points really made me realize the full impact. I wish I had know years ago.


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