- Gender and Relationships
Falling In or Fallen Out
Sharing my Answer to Ms.Dora's Question
Falling in love is beautiful. Love songs are sang all the time. Novels will always be written about how people fall in love. Every experience is unique. First kiss are an act (In most cases-especially with girls) of falling in love for the first time.
Regardless of the bittersweet moments; anyone who has been or is 'in love', would agree (with at least some of these truth) Love is not selfish, it is not proud. It is giving unconditionally and seek only to give itself out.
It MAY hurt if you conceal the feeling because it is forbidden to reveal; because you are NOT suppose to bear such feelings towards the other person. Then again; true love does not seek to hurt others but to desire happiness for them. It is not lust or obsession,not idolization of the person.
Love, Lust, Obsession and Idolization
There is a thin line that separates Love,Lust, Obsession which is very much entwined to Idolization of person. When you love someone; you cherish them and hope for the best things in life for them. When you lust over a person, your thoughts tend to concentrate towards sexual based closeness. When you are obsessed with someone; you think about that person constantly and everything you plan and act upon are centered around this person; almost as if your whole lives revolve around the person. Whereas, when you idolize a person, you admire them, value them and put think highly of them. You try to imitate their behavior, their mentality, their preferences of everything. Even mimic their style. These are the differences that helps to separate the real and the fake.
Falling in Love in itself, otherwise; does not hurt EXCEPT when one party or both has fallen OUT of Love.
Each relationship teaches us something. If one would look into their past relationship(s) with an open mind and without the hindrances of bitterness in their hearts; they will (most people, most times) be able to point at the very least one lesson that they have learnt from that relationship. Be it in aspect of the relationship itself or something about themselves. I believe that absolutely nothing that goes in our lives experiences are without purpose. Sit back for a moment.
Break ups and failure in a relationship is not the end of the world. Many have heard that phrase before, but rarely a person with a wound in their chest (figuratively), smile and agrees readily. You do not expect them to say to you, "I'm glad you are telling me that."
Until a person who has learnt from the past stepped in again; with an easy composition and enjoy the blossoming of the relationship with the patience of a gardener; who waits and enjoy his garden each morning. He has sincere respect for the things he grows and even before his garden transforms into the beauty he longs it to be; he is able to delight in the process of it's growth. A person who cherish love, also delights in the sowing of love and nurturing it to maturity. This person is not surprise with changes because the person expects it and accept it as the natural.