Farting Men

lilmissbookworm asks the question, "When a man gets comfortable in a relationship, why do the feel the need to fart..." Here is the link to the question and answers.

I know I'm qualified to answer this one. I'm a man and yes................I fart. So that qualifies me as an expert. who knew my specialty would be required.

There are many reasons a man will fart in front of his woman.

Naturally you risk exploding if you don't release the gas. There are times that a man just has to release it. We've been holding it for hours while we accompanied you on your shopping trip. When our internal gauge sends us a warning we must let loose.

Of course if we planned better, we wouldn't be put into that position. However, since when have you known us men to be planners?

There is also the relief of finally having our woman accept us. Again, we've been holding it in since we met you. Now we've become a couple, and we are so excited that we forget to squeeze our cheeks.

Believe it or not we want to share things with our woman. It also falls under the category of showing off. We love to share what we are good at. Farting just happens to be one. We also share our TV watching skills with you and you complain about that at times.

It's a test to see if you really are interested. You might be marriage material in our eyes. Part of the wedding ceremony is "for better or worst". Might as well get to the worst right away.

If you can endure our farting, then you are the girl for us. Farting bothers you then we might have to rethink this relationship

It's a game. You might want to play along. Rate the farts. Sound and smell. A scale of 1 to 10 works great

You can even try to identify the food that caused the fart. Eggs and other foods have a very distinctive smell.

We are just lazy. It takes a lot of effort to get up and leave the room. We do that enough times and you will get annoyed at us. It's a no win situation.

I guess we could run a tube from our butt to the window, but that seems rather extreme. Seems uncomfortable too.

Did you ever stop to think it might me your fault. Exactly what are you feeding us when you cook dinner? You giving us a lot of foods that cause gas?

I suggest you start keeping a journal of our diet. Find the foods are are the problem and eliminate them from our diet. However, don't even think about cutting out the beer. Maybe switch us to a lite beer for lighter farts.