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Is It Possible to Find Love in Cyberspace?

Updated on October 17, 2012

The Internet....Can you find true love, or is it a just a serial dater's paradise?

Remember the old days, when couples met for the first time at a bar, in the produce section of the grocery store or a party given by a friend of a friend?

There would be that first shy glance, then a second glance before some sort of an ice breaker such as, (if it was in the produce isle). "What is an eggplant anyway... and how do you make it"? If it was at a friend's get together, "You look familar, haven't we met somewhere before"? Either way, you were meeting in person, in the flesh, eye to eye, for the first time.

These days, singles can join one, two or three of the more than a dozen online dating services. Singles can literally choose their potential mate from an ala' carte list, much like ordering from a Chinese restaurant. They can order up a potential mate by age, hair color, weight, location and much more.

In the old days, before the internet, it would take two to three months of dating to really get to know this new and exciting person and if it did not work out, you broke up and stopped seeing them. In todays modern internet dating world, singles can go for days, weeks or months chatting, e-mailing or texting throughout the various dating sites without ever meeting anyone personally. It would appear a much kinder, safer way to find your soul mate....but is it????

These days, it is possible for two people to meet, get to know everything about each other, what they look like, their favorite movies, books and sexual positions and preferances and never actually meet or even speak on the phone. It is called "social network dating". A much safer, sexually speaking, way of getting to know someone before actually becoming intimate with them.

Couples can "tweet" on Twitter or "factualize" on Facebook for months before they actually meet face to face. And, it's not like any old "chat room". These social networking sites also allow potential suitors to meet their love interests' friends, family and even co-workers to see how they interact with others and how others interact with them. They can view photos of family members and close friends. It is possible to become a "voyeur" into their love interest's life before they decide to jump in themselves. As their relationship progresses, they can even have "safe cybersex" before the real thing. By knowing this person intimately beforehand, having cybersex is safer and they can feel confident that they are not dealing with, perhaps, a pedifile lurking in an online chat room before it is too late. Afterall, although Twitter and Facebook do not guarantee everyone is telling the truth about themselves in their profiles, it would be hard to make up friends, family and co-workers whom you relate to on these sites each and every day.

However, with that said, if today's cyberspace couples meet and spend months Facebooking and Twittering, will they really ever get to know each other i the real world? Will they know how their potential Mr. or Ms. Right responds in an emergency situation, handles their money, keeps a clean home or can relate to their father who has Altzheimer's or ex-spouse who tends to call too frequently? So, how do we get to know the real person behind the keyboard without spending face to face quality time with them?????


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    • Neil Sperling profile image

      Neil Sperling 

      7 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      relationships can truly develop over the internet... and love can blossom and is real. I have experienced love online... true and deep.

      I've yet to turn one into a live in relationship, but it is money and distance that stopped that from happening.. i have also coached one on one and now have a new Sis overseas and she has a Canuk bro... how cool is that?

    • vaidy19 profile image


      8 years ago from Chennai, India


      I have known a few people who have met online and married. Internet certainly provides a platform, a place to start in a sense. But it depends on the individual - how would they handle the relationship and take it forward? As for me, yes I have met and kept in touch with some people through online chats and emails, but I can never say for sure that I can call them my friends, not to speak of how they feel about me. I can't relate enough through online contact - without even hearing the person's voice or seeing them on a webcam - to become and feel close to someone. I have to actually meet someone to really know about them and decide whether there is a potential for the relationship to grow into one of mutual respect and easy and enjoyable companionship. I have always known people and made friends in the good old ways. I am generally impatient - I figure out quickly whether it's worth meeting this person and, when I do meet them, whether it's worth going forward. And, I am always looking out for the tiniest of signals, especially those that tell me that I am not welcome. Personally, I have found that it is very difficult, if not impossible, to match the pace, rhythm, intensity, and the style of the others. The perfect sync happens but rarely, I would imagine.


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