- Gender and Relationships
Finding "The One"...
Finding "THE ONE"
I often hear people talk about finding "The One", that one magical person out there who is everything they dreamed of and is the only person they could have a perfect relationship with. This person would make them feel happy all the time, have their best interest at heart, and be the perfect match. Arguments and disagreements would be few, because they would agree on almost everything. After all, they're a match made in heaven, right?
At one time I bought in to this notion, but as I've grown I have to question the validity of it all. Here are some of my thoughts on the topic of "The One":
-Many people find The One, fall madly in love and within a year they can't stand each other. The bubble of love is busted, and there's little hope in repairing it, after all the damage they have done to each other. So, were they completely wrong in their perception that this person was The One? They were so sure, 100% positive that this was The One!
-Some individuals have a very happy marriage with one person, and then they are widowed and alone. They later meet someone else and get married, and have a happy marriage, the second time around. Which one was "The One"? The first or the second spouse?
-If a person marries someone who is not "The One", they have messed up their own life, as well as their spouse's life, who is also not with "The One" for them. Their "One" is probably married to someone else who is not "The One", and thus by one mistake of one person, the entire population is hitched to someone who is not their "One". What a terrible, far-reaching mistake! We MUST find THE ONE for us!
I have come to believe that instead of one person in the entire world who is our perfect match, we could have a good relationship and marriage with a number of people. There are relationships for different seasons in our lives, and as our lives change, people change and events happen that alter the course of our lives. The person we start with at one time in our life might pass away or engage in behaviors that we can no longer tolerate, which brings the end of the relationship. We may later be blessed to find someone else with whom we can have a stable and healthy relationship.
I am a believer in God, and I do believe in his Will for us. You may ask "then what about the fact that God has one special person out there for you as part of his will?" I believe it is his will that we have healthy, loving relationships and build loving happy homes. He wants us to enjoy life with a partner who respects us and helps us in the good and bad times and vice versa. I don't think God ever thought that this could only happen with one person, a person we might be lucky enough to find within the billions of people on this earth.
So to sum it all up, if you're out there looking for "The One", give yourself a break and just focus on meeting great people and establishing solid friendships. It might just be that one of those friendships turns into a wonderful relationship upon which a lasting future is possible.