Finding True Happiness: Searching for Your True Bliss Without Suffering in Silence
What is happiness? Okay, that might sound like a silly question, but it's one that still needs to be asked. According to the dictionary, happiness is the meaning of true contentment where you're secure with yourself and almost every aspect of your life. What happens when your reality falls short of your ideal happiness? Sure, the truth hurts, but it can't be ignored for too long. Can you fathom being happy knowing that your life isn't what it should be? Can you be with someone that doesn't appreciate everything you have to offer? The answer may not be as simple as you think.
When it comes to relationships, love isn't always so simple to follow through on when the circumstances are complicated from the first encounter all the way to the wedding night. In order to understand whether your relationship can saved, you must figure out whether your circumstances are worth going through time and time again. Here are three scenarios that described some complicated relationships and some ways they could be saved or destroyed once and for all. If the situations seem familiar, heed some advice to the best of your ability and follow your own path to happiness if necessary.
The Unlikely Love Affair- Can a romance blossom if the suitors are from different worlds? A rich man marrying a seemingly penniless woman or a rich girl pursuing a boy from the wrong side of the tracks. Those situations seemed out of this world unbelievable, but stranger things can happen. Look at Prince William and Kate Middleton. Their love seemed doomed from the start, but they made it work and made a trip down the altar. One unlikely Hollywood romance was in The Notebook between regular guy Noah (Ryan Gosling) pursuing the girl of his dreams (Rachel McAdams) even though her wealthy parents don't approve. Timing (war) and some meddling (her mother) kept them apart for a while, but true love won out in the end. Even though it took years for it to happen.
The best thing to do in a relationship where opposites attract is to focus on your common interests as a starting point and work from there. If your partner is ashamed of being seen in public with you, confront them on it and ease them into the idea of making a genuine effort. Never push too hard because it could cause your gunshy partner to run in the other direction. Another plus is to always be truthful with your partner, because secrets are the ultimate relationship killer. Look at the latest version of Jane Eyre. The penniless Jane (Mia Wasikowska) was a governess for the wealthy but ultimately moody Mr. Rochester (Michael Fassbender). Both of them were totally disconnected from the world until a chance encounter connected them forever. Sadly, Mr. Rochester's secret was the only thing keeping them apart. Could Jane accept it or will she be forced to run away from her true love forever?
Love Based on a Lie- What happens if your partner starts keeping secrets from you? Do they have password protected files on their computer? Do they disappear for periods of time and give half-baked explanations when they return home? Secrets are a sign of disrespect towards your partner that is almost like a verbal slap in the face. Every lie is a jab in their side. Obviously, not every relationship is meant for complete disclosure. If that was the case, a lot more relationship would likely end. It's best to only keep benign secrets, unless you're looking for a way out of the relationship. This is a two way street. The person who is keeping the secrets is doing the ultimate deception, but if the other partner is just as much to blame if they are turning a blind eye to everything going on around them.
Two prime examples would be the movies The Other Man and Chloe, which both focused on how sexual secrets can adversely impact a marriage. In Man, Peter (Liam Neeson) thinks he has the perfect marriage until he realized that his wife Lisa (Laura Linney) has been seeing another man. Peter began to discover shocking new material that proved he didn't know Lisa as well as he thought and seeked out her lover (Antonio Banderas). He starts a friendship with the man without disclosing that he's Lisa's husband. This relationship will not turn out well for everyone involved.
In Chloe, a wife (Julianne Moore) believed that her husband (Liam Neeson) was sleeping around and hired a hooker (Amanda Seyfried) to prove it. What she didn't expect was that the idea would backfire on her and make her the ultimate hypocrite. Both examples demonstrated it's sometimes better to have a little faith in your partner and also to call them out on their deceptions sooner rather than later. If you wait too long, your relationship could go up in smoke.
Love Bordering on Obsession- Here's a scenario from the movie Wicker Park about a man (Josh Hartnett) who meets a beautiful girl (Diane Kruger) and rushes into a romance with her. Just as quickly she leaves without a trace and left the man in desperate pursuit of his lost love. He just wasn't aware of what this years long search would cost him in return. In order to determine if you're more of a stalker than a lover, ask yourself some very important questions before going further.
Do you need to know your partners whereabouts a little too much? Are you in love with someone who doesn't love you back? Can you keep your sanity in check when your supposed partner has literally disrespected you on the deepest of levels? The best suggestion for these types of heavily uneven relationship is to know when to cut the romance cord sooner rather than later. In the movie Obsessed, Lisa (Ali Larter) believed that her very happily married boss was in love with her. She made her feelings known, but she didn't expect that he would reject her so brutally. Her obsessive idea of love forced her boss and his wife to fear for their lives, until either them or her would be the last one standing. Another example would be the movie Presumed Innocent which followed a cheating Prosecutor (Harrison Ford) on trial for murdering his former mistress and humiliating his troubled wife. What he didn't realize was that his wife's troubles affected him a lot more than he was aware of. The trick with obsessive relationships is to know when it has gone too far and to cut your losses. It is also recommended to keep 911 on speed dial just in case.
In the end, love can almost conquer all: space, time and age. A perfect example would be in Letters to Juliet about a young woman who helped an older woman find out her very long lost love by any means necessary. The odds were against them as well as the odds of forming a genuine relationship with her grandson. Stranger things have happened. It's best to always be working on any relationship no matter how new or old it is. Talk with your partner to see where they are in relationship and to hold back if they decide to tell you something shocking. If the shock doesn't wear off, it may be time to move on. Decide carefully before making any permanent decisions.
