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Finding the Ideal Life Partner

Updated on February 11, 2009

Ideal to Spend the Rest of Life Together

One of life's most difficult decisions is to select the life partner with whom one would share the rest of his/her life. One mistake - and your life is miserable till the end of it. So, how to choose? Here are a few tips (Do not forget to read my own life experience narrated at the end).

List Down Your Likes and Dislikes

At the apex of youth, one is filled with quite a lot of experience, exposure and enlightenment which means, there are a lot of things that a person likes and a few that are hateful. You are well aware of what characters in a person will attract the person to be your friend and what are the things you cannot tolerate in your friend. It is good practice to take time to list them down one by one before choosing your 'friend for a lifetime'. It is better always to have less of negative feelings and more of positive feelings in one's life and hence, your list could be longer on the likes and shorter on the dislikes.

Wait Patiently for Mr./Miss. Right

This is a one time decision that one makes - choosing the life partner. Hence, it is good to wait for the right time, for the right person to step into your life. When you wait patiently for the right person to walk into your life, you will have peace, prosperity and joy throughout the rest of your life. The decision that you make in your twenties is going to stay with you even till your sixties and eighties. Instead, if you dash into selecting a partner, you may have to regret for having met Miss.Wrong or Mr.IamRightYouAreWrong.

Mr.Right - Not Mr.TheBest

I have seen people having great expectations for their life partners and keep rejecting every proposal they get. They do not bother how much they hurt the other person for having called and rejected the person, till one day when they are rejected by everyone they propose to. Once you open yourselves to choose your life partner, you should not go window-shopping for too long. If you feel this is not the right time, don't open up yet. Also people who want the best (most beautiful, most accomplished, richest, etc.) may end up disappointed because too much of expectation will lead to greater disappointment. Young girls and boys looking forward to marry a cine star or a model must remember that appearances can be deceiving. You may think that "the best" will suit you, but there is every chance that "you" may not suit the so-called "best", which would be as incompatible as partnering with "the worst".

Found Something? Make Discreet Inquiries

"Tell me who your friend is, and I will tell you who you are" - is a well-known Chinese proverb. When you have met a person whom you think could be an ideal partner to share your life with, don't jump into decisions. What is known of your closest friend could be less than 5% of the actual person. Surveys prove that even the household people or parents do not know more than 10% of a person. But the whole person (100% of him/her) gets revealed to the spouse with whom they share their life. So, it is mostly impossible to find out the hidden 90% from the visible 10%. However, at least the visible 10% information which is most significant must be accurately known to you before you proceed further to make the decision. For instance, if a person gets drunk only at parties, there are more chances of him becoming an addict - and you should know that beforehand.

Get Married Soon

The most important thing is that you are meant to marry. Your hunt for a life partner should begin only when you decide to marry. Do not involve sexually with anyone before marriage - even if you are engaged to be married. There are so many complications which the world may consider as 'fashion' or a 'different lifestyle' - but are not moral, ethical, acceptable before God and man though it may deem to be legal according to the laws of the country. Every sin that a person commits is outside the body, but the one who commits sexual immorality sins against one's own body. Your body is a holy temple where the Spirit of God should reside - do not defile it with the sin of adultery and destroy your holiness. However, marriage and sex after marriage is honorable and holy before God because God has ordained that a man should cleave with his wife to raise godly offspring. Any other form of sexual relationships is sin and will be judged by God. Let not your youth be blamed for sinful lusts and misconduct before God. Conduct your body as a holy vessel for God's glory.

The Final Decision

Before you go ahead to freeze upon the person who will be your spouse, pray and ask God to approve your choice.

How wonderful would be the life of a young man or woman who sits in the presence of God before even starting off in the search for life partner! Such a wise person would sit in the presence of God and read out the likes and dislikes before God and ask God to help in putting in the right things wisely, because God is wiser than the wisest on earth. Then the wise person would pray for God to bring the right person into the life and reveal His will about the person at the right time. Then the wise person would pray to God, seeking His hand to work it to completion in marriage which would be honorable before man and God. And the wise person would pray along with his/her spouse, asking God to bless their holy matrimony to lead into a blessed family life, where they would live and glorify God throughout their walk together, remaining at the center of God's will.

My Own Testimony

I find it apt to share with you my own life story about choosing my life partner. I had left it to God to work it according to His will, placing my desires about my life partner before Him. Once, when I was praying, the Lord Jesus Christ graciously revealed to me that my life-partner-to-be would walk into my life very soon, even a few weeks before I saw her for the first time. There were no signs of marriage in my life at that time - as I had actually decided to wait a few more years. The Lord revealed to me the girl who would be my life partner and so, I silently kept watching her from a distance, and I found most of her character matching with what I had framed in my mind.

To remove the doubt from my mind, I prayed to the Lord to show me by the sure sign, that even before I talk about my feelings for her to anyone, the proposal should come up from elsewhere. Our Lord Jesus Christ is the One who honors faith and is gracious to those who depend upon Him and trust Him. I had the privilege of my prayer answered soon (within 2 months after I saw the girl), when my mom happened to see her and suggested to me that she could be a good match for me. Though I was sceptic about the differences between our family backgrounds and discouraged my mom from talking any further on it, I rejoiced in my heart of hearts that the Lord had done it.

Finally, the proposal did get stronger when my mom (who is a woman of diligent prayer) strongly suggested the same thing about five months later. I had been undergoing a lot of struggle in my mind as I saw my 'dream girl' before me day after day, yet the circumstances and all people (including the girl herself) not favorable to this 'big event' in my life. I finally agreed to my mom's suggestion (well, confessing that I loved her too), and the drama began (clashes between the two families) - great upheaval in my life, the waves tossing my life's boat, threatening to drown it. But the Lord Jesus who was at the helm of it, steered my life, granting me peace even amidst those turbulent times. Finally, the Lord helped me to get engaged soon with the girl of my dreams and after one month was our marriage - the beginning of a sweet journey with my sweetheart, Rosline.

As I look back, I praise God for guiding me step by step in this one-time decision of my life, granting me the desires of my heart. All I can say is, "All things work together for good to those who love God." Therefore, my advice to you, my dear friends, is:

"Delight yourself in the LORD,     And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD,     Trust in Him,     And He shall bring it to pass." (The Bible - Psalm 37:4,5)

God bless!



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    • profile image

      lovingman1966 3 years ago

      i am lonely person. some times i need to have a true love in my life whom i can share my feelings and emotions. hoping to meet some one special,friendly and loving as a life partner ond life time friend.i am 48 yrs separated person from Pakistan.

    • profile image

      Olutola A.A 5 years ago

      This is truly encouraging .I need more of this Godly true life story.

    • profile image

      francis quason 5 years ago

      am very happy this message. ithink this is going help in many ways expercialy the we the youth. may the lord bless you .am 26 years old ghanian.thank you.

    • profile image

      Ben 5 years ago

      Am so glad to see all these comments for God's people! Am not gonna be left behind! I need God's intervention in life in finding a good partner.

    • joerose profile image

      joerose 6 years ago from Chennai, India

      Hi iLoveJesus92, I feel that if there are no obstacles for both of you to marry, you can sit in God's presence and pray for His will in the matter. Here's my piece of advice. Since you have been praying for the 'perfect' someone (though, there's nobody really 'perfect' taking the word at face value) in your life for quite long, you should be having a fair idea about how you want your Mr.Right to be. Take a piece of paper and note down all the characteristics of the 'ideal partner' you have in mind. Before beginning to write, just remove the guy at the Bible study fully off your mind for sometime. Place the list before God (say aloud each characteristic in prayer). Now ask God to reveal more about the person you have referred to, against the list, and wait for God to reveal any hidden matters in his life to you. God knows everything better. Follow this exercise of prayer for a few more days and if God gives you a perfect peace in your spirit about the matter, please go ahead and pursue the marriage. Else, God will strengthen you to move away from the probable infatuation and lead you to the right person. Be still and know that the Lord Almighty is God. God bless!

    • profile image

      Lorene 6 years ago

      I have not read a better truth than this! I will save this for advice , wisdom and help of raising my children in a world so full of filth. Thank you so much for sharing this wisdom..

    • profile image

      Donna 6 years ago

      I am in the desert now.. Your story was inspiring. I need a godly prayer for the right partner in life - who truly is compatible with my values and who i will recognise as the one sent by God. Thk you dear brothers & sisters who help in prayers.

    • profile image

      Friend12 6 years ago

      I truly believe God guides and leads people on who to marry. However,I am personally in a dilemma. I prayed and fasted for God to show me who to Marry. God did show me a particular sister,so I shared this with some of the elders in church who encouraged me to go and approach her. The sister said she was not available when I did and subsequently went on to cut me off from her life for over a year. Recently though she has become more friendly but still maintains that she's not available. I've tried to move on since,but each time feels like am making a blunder and disobeying God. Any advice appreciated. God bless!

    • profile image

      iLoveJesus92 6 years ago

      I've prayed to God ever since I was small for that perfect someone. I am in Uni & recently met this guy at Bible study. We talked to each other quite a few times but we ain't that close yet. He's the godly type of person I would definetly love to marry. He is single and so am I. Is it right to pray to God and ask Him to have that guy or should I just wait and see my other options ?

    • profile image

      jesuslina 6 years ago

      God bless u.....

    • profile image

      WASIYA 6 years ago


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      Ding Emang 6 years ago

      a very big thank you to you for the lessons and thought about God's will in marriage

    • profile image

      Dana 6 years ago

      This is perfect.I believe God does honor the desires and prayers of His people.I want to get married in 2 years, of course that is by faith because I am currently not in a relationship. And I met this youth pastor who just fit the traits i have in my mind about a guy i want to marry. Now Im praying for it. Indeed many are the plans in the hearts of men, but its God's will that prevails. Thanks for sharing your story. Godbless you! :)

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      Extra24 6 years ago

      I am confused, I went through an experience two months ago and I would bet on my life that God showed me my Husband by no doubt, but I am not close friends with him, neither do we speak and I only saw him twice since that encounter. I hanged on that experience since then... I was confused today as someone told me that you can never ask God for a sign on choosing a marriage partner, but you can marry who ever you choose: God will work it out for the best the person said. I can upon your website and I am hearing something totally different. I trust on the Lord and that is why i left this important matter in his hands of providing me with a life partner, but sometimes i wonder whether someone can dwell on a sign in a matter like this. please helping in advicing I am really confused!

    • profile image

      Sharon Robert 6 years ago


      I am a singal gal aged 37 and i believe God has the right person for me...

      He is working on my character and attitude for my "would be".

      Till he comes, i will wait patiently and do the work of God.

      Kindly keep me in prayer. God Bless!

      Sharon Robert


    • profile image

      gelly agman 7 years ago

      dont love the love that never love your love

    • profile image

      mariel talip 7 years ago

      i just wanna say thankyou for article

    • profile image

      Serwah Marfo 7 years ago

      Thank u joseph 4 sharing such a nice experience wid us. Im also in a relationship now, n my prayer is Gods perfect will be done in my life. Amen!

    • profile image

      JesusMyFather 7 years ago

      I very much love someone in my life and truly believe that god had sent him into my life and we became great friends and wanted to get married, everything went well for 5 yrs but the circumstances changed and now we havnt talked to each other for over 3 months due to work and family commitments, during this period i was so deeply upset and disappoint then i started praying to Jesus and God revealed me that he has plans for me in my life and i would serve him in future, i was born as hindu but saved now by God's grace, i love Jesus so much and thank him for creating this situation with my friend so i could know Jesus and accept his will in my life.

      Altho i still love this man and desire to marry him but i want God's perfect will over my desire, i am praying to God to reveal me my chosen partner for life so i may become complete and live in peace in Jesus name i pray, Amen!

      May the Lord Jesus bless us all :) Praise the lord

    • profile image

      kila  7 years ago

      i was praying and keeping this guy in my heart for almost 6years though i had other relationships,he was my drean man until two months ago i had the chance to meet up with him throuhg a friend.We started talking as good friends and became very close however i was again confused and kept asking the lord.just yestarday we had an argument and i was so down i just wanted to let go though i prayed..but im glad to read about your testimony

      its very encouraging and i will keep my faith in the lord.i am blessed.thank you!

    • profile image

      mary 7 years ago


      i accidently clicked onto this site, i actually wanted to check out something different but am happy and glad i did. am in my middle 20s and have been in a dilemma in finding the one for me. I am so encouraged after reading your testimony and am sure God has a good plan for me. Am learning to let go of so many things in my life because i know i cant be able to receive his gifts when am still holding on to my past fears. I have to go with empty hands to receive what He has for me.

      Thanks so much and am praying that God may direct me and others to learn to be patient at waiting for God's timing in finding the right patner in life.

      I thot i made a mistake on clicking here but am glad because it was the right mistake :)

      God bless you Joerose

    • profile image

      Sheba 7 years ago

      Thanks for sharing.. I have graps alot.

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      Chris 8 years ago

      Every foundation built without Christ surely shal collapse.Jesus is d true love anyone could hv in marriage without ds u wil just be managing to live.thanks

    • joerose profile image

      joerose 8 years ago from Chennai, India

      Hi Aseem, ask deep inside yourself what is Hinduism and what is Christianity - and if you find the complete answer to both, make the above statement. There's nothing called 'forced' conversion to Christianity - becoming a child of God demands perfect willful submission to God's plan for your life and no one else can live your life for you - particularly before Christ. I can't live for you or drag you to Christ. He accepts everyone who comes to Him just as you are... That's the love of my Jesus! I wish you deeply re-think the statement you have made above after knowing who is Christ. God bless you and grant you Light in your pursuit!

    • profile image

      Nilesh Patel 8 years ago

      hi all

    • aseemgaurav profile image

      aseemgaurav 8 years ago

      Ain't you are a forced convert from Hinduism to Christianity.

    • profile image

      Kumar 8 years ago

      Thanks Brother nice article

    • A mc profile image

      A mc 8 years ago

      very interesting--it only proves that truth is only one any in the world you go to. thanks bro. i like this.

    • joerose profile image

      joerose 8 years ago from Chennai, India

      Hi friends, thanks for all those encouragement. Hen'z Veraqz and Anusha, you are specially remembered in my prayers. Expect a miracle from God!

    • profile image

      Anusha 8 years ago

      i am 23 yrs. i was totally in dilemma of choosing the partner thru my parents, as my dad is hindu (not yet saved) he is forcing me to marry from my community, but i am not happy with that. But now i am encouraged thru ur testimony. Surely i will wait to know god's will and i will ask for a sign from god. Thank you for your wonderful testimony.

    • profile image

      hen'z veraqz 9 years ago

      i'm 20 ryt now,and i can say that i'm inlove. But eventhough i'm almost in the right age,still my confusions about love is chasing me down. Due to this, i voluntarily search on to my case. In result to this, i found answers in this article. Whoever you are "joseph", i thank you for sharing your lovestory to us. I'm just hoping to follow your search for real love will also happen to me. Thank you and God bless us all...!

    • profile image

      Joy 9 years ago

      Wonderful testimony, thanks Joseph for sharing the testimony of God's guiding grace in your search for a life partner

    • profile image

      Melissa 9 years ago

      Yes, I believe every word. About 3 years ago the Lord started to show me in dreams who I would marry (+/- 20 of them) over 2 years. But this man, choose with his free-will not to follow the dream of the really did bring real disppointment.

      Above all this, I still believe God is a matchmaker!

    • guidebaba profile image

      guidebaba 9 years ago from India

      Great ! Thanks for answering my request.


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