First Anniversary of Two Cultures Blending

Two separate cultures blending are sure to create some interesting differences.For a start ,do you live in his country or hers? Add a second marriage into the mix and other people are automatically added to this truly internationally flavoured mix.

I identify as a New Zealand Maori, woman ,born and raised in New Zealand to a Maori Father, and New Zealand born white Mother, of Scottish and English heritage. English is my first language ,although I understand some Maori language ( also an Official language in NZ) and enjoy the richness of both heritages.

I also hail from a family of nine children ,so get togethers can be quite vocal, and often musical. The guitars or stereo resounds through the house and everyone is eager to know everyone else business. Lots of sharing and caring. Visits can be unannounced ,fleeting or lengthy.Maori's are known for their hospitality and once in your home love to nurture and treat you like family.

To quote and Old Maori Proverb:

"Te Wai Wai Tapu" I walk comfortably in both lands'

My Partner is American born in Jamestown, and hails from the state of Pennsylvania.(USA)

(home of those super-bowl winners above right)

At the moment we are living in South Carolina hence the Palmetto Palm just above..( New Culture for us both)

My husbands ancestors came from Scotland and on his mums side ,some Native American Indian, no-one knows too much ,so I'm looking forward to learning more of that cultural connection too.

Where the Superbowl Champions ,Pittsburgh Steelers rock, yeaaaaaa.....( I had my first football lesson last Sunday).went something like this...."gosh those pants are tight , yes I'm paying attention !,"ok that's the 10 yard line"..."love that colour they're wearing."..ohhh sorry , no I missed that " ...yawn..yawn..."ohhhh look hes made it past two lines,3, yes run run , he made it...touchdown!!!,...is it over now honey?......

Respect

I don't know what you mean when you think a certain way, or say a certain word, but I respect you ,and I will show you by listening ,and checking that we both understand one another. We often feel confused whenever we don't understand ,even the most simple conversation.

Communication

Effective communication particularly important when two cultures blend, means letting the other person know you heard them and this is one effective method to help do this.

"It makes me mad ,when you ignore me (my questions, my requests, my opinions)"

Many times especially in the 'really getting to know you ' phase with another culture its not the obvious things Religion,Children,Values, etc that stand out but small things that if not talked about in a lighthearted manner ,can become bigger than they really ought to be , things like:

Tone of voice , emphasis on certain words ie WHAT!

"So you get mad when you think Im ignoring you" ?

Talking and listening effectively is shared privilege , not just for the man ,or woman ,but shared. It benefits both people and the more you learn ,the closer you become ( or not) but you learn.

So just because two people speak the same language, doesn't mean culturally they are will communicate the same way.

He says "What you've never seen night crawlers??" Shes thinking ( so who cares if we have night crawlers-defensive mode rises) "What you guys don't eat alot of chili??" (she thinks, oh so we all gotta like chili now)

Reality is hes expressing his surprise openly, because that's common in his culture. The other way around ,would go something like this.

She says "Oh shut-up for 10 mins,I'm trying to talk to my sister" He not only thinks I'm rude ,but expressesit ,ha ha "Screw you" n walks off...She is bewildered?....and the amber light flicks on , is he sensitiveor what??......eventually we check out what exactly each one meant. That was definitely a cultural communication moment....We have had many other 'moments ,trust me , but thankfully we have matured in that particular area. Onto the next 10, just kidding.

Be Interested In The Other Persons Life ..So many events, memories,family history are part of your partners life-be interested!

Get to know other family members ,anyone can notice even a few things to comment, or compliment them on. Write letters ,send birthday cards. The more you give off the vibe that your open to knowing them ,the more likely they will be to let you into their hearts too.

22nd August 2009 Will be our First Wedding Anniversary

Seemed like we met years ago ,and that because we did really. .Eventually we married in New Zealand and will celebrate our very first Anniversary In the United States!

He liked rock , I liked country, 'never heard of New Zealand (well vaguely he had) but I really didn't care too much about that , I was more interested in his values how he treated his mother and sisters .Maybe I thought he didn't mean anything , but subconsciously I knew the better he treated those other women in his life , the better chance I would have of being treated well.......that was the theory anyway. I have written an earlier hub called Long Distance Relationship on how we first met ,so I wont bore you with that here. Suffice to say we have had many firsts along the way since 2001.

If You are celebrating an Anniversary today ,my warmest Congratulations to you and yours!! forver and ever..Amen

TRADITIONAL

• Artwork
• Love letters and poetry
• Favorite book
• Memory album
• Stationary with new married name
• Home decor
• Gift certificates
• Cigars
• Book of floor plans (if building a house soon)
• Life insurance
• Geneology
• Tickets to a play, concert, or sporting event

MODERN

Wood sculpture

• Kitchen appliances
• Tupperwear
• Household appliances
• Household items
• DVD or CD
• Sunglasses
• Sports gifts
• Yoga mat
• Luggage accessories
• Adult gifts

• Artisan clock
• Personalized clock
• Watches
• Feature-rich alarm

08-22-2009 , 22-09-09 

Celebrated our first Anniversary at a local Restaurant, Southern Style . Delicious ,simple and truly another milestone of our first anniversary of two cultures blending!