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Five Secrets Guys Wish Girls Knew
Where's the Breakdown?
Men and women are constantly communicating to each other, yet most of the signals are interpreted incorrectly. A man could say, "It's no big deal," and the truth is, it's no big deal. But a woman could say, "It's no big deal," when in reality, it's a huge deal. In twelve years of marriage and various discussions with other men, I have found out that some of my core beliefs about men are strangely untrue. There seems to be a large gap between what women think men want, versus what they actually want. Here are five of the biggest differences I've discovered in talking with the male population:
At best, they don't care. At worst, they think it's gross. Though women place a huge emphasis of time and money on makeup, thinking they are enhancing their ability to attract the opposite sex, the hard truth is that guys just don't really care about makeup, or they actually are turned off by it. I happened to marry someone in the latter category. My husband cannot stand a stitch of makeup on me. If it's on me, it might come off on him. Many times I have heard him say, "Why do women paint their face with that stuff? Gross!" So ladies, before you spend a fortune on another tube of mascara, think twice about going a more natural route.
2. Body Weight
For some reason, ultra thin is in fashion right now in the world of women. Obviously, however, men were not consulted on this issue. Most men I have talked with would rather have a slightly overweight, curvy woman than a thin woman with no curves. How have we gotten this so wrong? With thousands of women and young girls struggling with eating disorders over trying to accomplish unhealthy body weights, we have been duped into thinking this is what guys want. Not only is this dangerously unhealthy, it is miserable to maintain.
3. A Strong Personality
With the age of feminism has come the new "sexy" woman: G.I. Jane. She is strong, independent and doesn't need anything from a man. Even cartoon movies like "Brave" and "Frozen" promote the idea that women are most beautiful in independence from a man. However, from listening to many men, I have realized that a lot of men have a need for their wives to rely on them at least a little. It is not unattractive to a man to be in need of him. In fact, it is my belief that this is a beautiful design by a good Creator that has been abused in both directions. In no way, shape or form should women be forced into submission or not allowed to vote or be superheroes, but our bodies are designed for nurturing and supporting life, while men's bodies are designed to provide and protect. At a basic level, it's attractive to a man for a woman to have a softer, more dependent personality. And at the very least, a healthy level of respect for the male gender is always appreciated.
Who can know how many billions of dollars have been made off of women's fear of aging? Heaven forbid we let our gray hair show, or we have laugh lines around our eyes. Men are not opposed to women looking their age. In fact, they might have more beauty if they would stop fighting it and let their bodies age gracefully. As many men can attest to, when you are in your thirties, the sixteen-year-old's aren't attractive to you anymore. It's the thirty-year-old women that are looking good to them now. If they are in their fifties, a fifty-year-old woman will be appealing to them. Who says that every man wants their wife to look like she's 20 while he's in his fifties? It is a beautiful thing to age together and show signs of maturity.
Quit Dyeing Your Hair!
There are an awful lot of fake blondes floating around in America these days. Hair dye is not only horribly damaging to your hair, but it's completely temporary, keeping a woman coming back for touchups constantly if they don't want unsightly roots showing. Can anyone say, money racket? Companies want us to to perpetuate the idea that blonde hair is more beautiful and that grays should never show through, that way we keep salons and hair dye makers in business. Guys, however, seem to find it disturbing when they discover their wife is actually a brunette when they married a blonde. Wouldn't it be better to promote your natural self to your mate so they aren't shocked after the wedding day? Otherwise you are going to have to spend a lot of money and time maintaining a look that isn't you for the rest of your life. Obvious? You would think.
Guys Weigh In
Do Women Put Too Much Emphasis on Makeup?
It wasn't until I had been married awhile that I discovered my views about what my husband wanted and what he actually wanted were vastly different. In talking to other men about these issues, I have discovered these common themes. If women could grasp the reality of how men think, I believe our comestic and beauty industry would probably crash! But there would be a better understanding between the sexes and less pressure on women to look perfect all the time.