Some Courting and Dating Styles of Men that Won't Work
Style # 1 An Obvious Agenda
I had this grade school classmate, we were dance partner and we become close during rehearsals. He was 11, we were of the same age and I owe him for teaching me to ride a racer bike. But one day he surprised me saying “you’re like a banana, so enticing to peel”.
If he has said it to me today, I would just probably blush and get over it. But I was too young and innocent then that every time he’ll passed by our house for a visit, I’ll go hiding.
Guys, think before you spill out the beans or you’ll scare us away.
Style # 2 Testing the Waters
After a very long time, I happened to bump into one of my high school classmate. After the coincidence, he came to my house. When I asked him what he is doing in my place, he said “Oh, I was just passing by”. But he was in the house for hours asking me questions about yester-years.
Some guys are so afraid of rejection that they’ll test the waters first before they fetch it. Real men are not cowards.
Style # 3 Charade
My friend’s cousin often asks me to accompany him in our organizational affairs or for some program preparations. He always involved me in. I thought it’s just because I am his vice-president. Until one day, our common friends started teasing us. I wasn’t really informed of his motive. A few months passed, one of our common friend asked me in front of him, what is the reason of not accepting him as of yet. I didn’t want to embarrass him so I just played dead-ear. I was mumbling but in my head, “why, is there a question?”
How can we know your real intention if you don’t spill it out? You don’t want us to be just presumptuous, do you? What is there to answer when there is no question?
Guys, gals are not like Edward Cullen, we can't read minds. So, speak up!
Style # 4 Double-Standard
I’ve met this guy, he became a jogging pal. He calls me everyday at work, we jog every Saturdays and Sundays. One time, he mentioned on the phone that he is easily turned off when his gal is dating another guy. As for him, it is embarrassing to know from a friend to see his constant date dating another guy. He is implying that if I’ll date another guy, he’ll back out. So I asked him the other side of the coin, if he wants exclusivity, would he do the same? He said, it’s not awkward to see men dating various girls. I felt injustice, where is gender equality here?
Few weeks passed, I’ve met an Indian national. He’s handsome, physically fit, funny and a sensible person. He has an interesting personality that I allow him to befriend me.
But the former guy got irritatingly jealous, he didn’t backed out but he is making me feel guilty about going out with the Indian guy. I made it clear to him that I’m only being friendly and the latter has no chance with me. But he still feels bad about it that though he communicates with me, he won’t ask me out anymore. One night, he’s texting me, I’m missing him a lot but I still feel disappointed so I dumped him.
Guys, you can’t have it both ways, if you want exclusivity, you have to earn it.
Style # 5 Vote Buying
My brother’s high school classmate often visits my family in ordinary days. When he’s here, my brother isn’t around and so I always make up for my brother’s absence. He became close to my mother, he was like a family. I thought it was my brother he’s visiting until I got a letter revealing his heart out. But I do not care.
Guys, don’t you think you have to win our hearts first before trying to please everyone in the family. If we didn’t like you, you're just prolonging your agony.
Traditional versus Modern Style of Courting and Dating
Depending on the country's culture, a guy may use either the traditional or modern style of courting. Some countries have conservative cultures while some cultures progressed as their country's economy progressed and others have mixed orientation.
In the west side, guys do not court and just ask a girl out on a date or the girl might do the asking. A dating couple may say “I like you” bluntly to one another. No pretensions, just straight-forward. If they got turned off eventually, there’s not much time wasted investing in a relationship that was not worth it. But this doesn't mean you are not in anyway hurt.
In the traditional way, the guy is expected to do the courting and the girl waits patiently. The guy tend to put his best foot forward, of course to be taken favorably and the girl would show off her best likeable self. You’ll eventually get to know each others darker side later in the relationship or much later when you were already married and were living under one roof. Even if you push the courtship or dating too long trying to decipher each others personality, it doesn’t guarantee a deeper relationship either.
Traditional or modern, fact is, to love is to gamble. You take the risk, be happy or be hurt if you want to love and be loved. More importantly, do not use my former suitors' courting style because they are not effective.