Focus on the Family: 5 Great Bible Verses to Help You Have a Strong Marriage
Reconcile the Same Day
Marriage normally begins on a happy note, but for many couples things sometimes turn sour and, in the worst cases, partners choose to part ways.
However, when a couple choose to involve God by taking His word seriously and applying certain Biblical principles to the relationship, it can increase chances that the marriage will work because it is God who instituted marriage and He knows how to help make it work.
In this article, I want to focus on the family, on the relationship between a husband and a wife, by looking at some Bible verses that can help spouses to keep their marriages strong forever.
Reconcile The Same Day You Have Fights
All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation. (2 Corinthians 5:18).
Some spouses have the habit of brooding over what their spouse did to hurt them for days, and sometimes months, and that helps to breed resentment in their hearts, as well as give the devil a chance to throw negative thoughts about your spouse into your mind. Consequently, your bitterness will grow stronger and that will reduce the intensity of the feelings of affection you have for your husband or your wife.
We offended Jehovah and He chose to reconcile us to Himself: He took the initiative to re-establish the bond and restore peace between Himself and us, and you must do the same if you are a son or daughter of The King so that you can maintain the peace in the family. The Pulpit commentary at Biblehub adds that we were God’s enemies , but because He is still our Father, He drew us close to Him again.
As Paul says in his letter to the Ephesians (Ephesians 4:26), express your anger and make your spouse know that he or she hurt you, but do not let that anger carry on until the next day.
Yes, you may need a few hours to cool down, process the situation that caused the disagreement, and come to terms with your feelings, but ensure that you sit down with your spouse and talk about your differences before you go to bed. It will help you to restore and maintain feelings of love constantly so that cracks will not develop in the relationship.
In fact, according to a study done by Karl Pillemer, a psychologist at the Cornell University, choosing to reconcile before they go to bed is the main secret that makes couples have strong, healthy, happy, enjoyable marriages for many years.
Remember that as a Christian, you have to take the initiative, even if it is your spouse who is at fault, as commanded by Jesus in Matthew 5:23,24.
Compassion +Kindness + Meekness +Patience=Sustained Affection
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, meekness, and patience. (Colossians 3:12).
This verse compares the qualities mentioned to clothes. You consciously and intentionally put on your clothes. There are times when you take them off, for example when you are going to bed, but you put them on again at another time.
Obviously, it will be hard to exhibit these qualities all the time. So the verse says, “put them on”: it tells you that you have to intentionally and consciously choose to be compassionate towards your spouse, to be kind (especially when he or she hurts you), and to be meek and patient when your spouse irritates you or behaves in unloving ways.
And when you “take them off,” when your spouse does something that makes you act inconsiderately, arrogantly, or impatiently toward him or her, pick up these qualities again and “wear” them again.
When you act in such a manner, there will be a continual renewal of affection on both sides and that can help to sustain goodwill and fellow-feeling, which will in turn help to cement the emotional connection in the marriage.
Be Quick to Hear
Be Quick To Hear And Slow To Speak
Know this, my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. (James 1: 19).
Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible at Biblehub adds that being quick to hear and slow to speak it helps to expose your weaknesses so that you can correct your vices.
Have you ever wondered why the good LORD gave us two ears, but one mouth? Well, it is because He wanted us to listen more than we speak: He wanted us to take in a lot of information at a time, to process it well before responding after thoughtful consideration through that one avenue (the mouth).
When every time your spouse speaks you give yourself time to process what he or she said, it will give you an opportunity to understand what he or she said better: you can clarify knotty points and come up with thoughtful counterarguments that can prevent fights.
The kind of hearing the Bible talks about here is active hearing: bringing all your cognitive power to focus on what your spouse is saying to you instead of pretending to hear whilst your mind is far away. Some fights in certain marriages have started because a spouse said something which the other party did not hear, or which the other party heard in a distorted way, and that led to a misunderstanding which started a big fight.
Choosing to hear and choosing to speak after careful thought will convey the message that you respect and care about the needs and feelings of your spouse. Furthermore, your spouse can feel that he is unburdening himself. Consequently, they are more likely to choose to continue expressing their feelings so that you can discuss them and resolve them as a team to help you maintain the harmony in the marriage in the future.
Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” (1 Peter 5:5).
This verse does not in any way suggest that you will always be in a mood to subject yourself to your husband or your wife. It suggests that when your husband informs you that he felt disappointed when you insulted him during the fight you had yesterday, for example, you will not allow your ego to get in the way and retort even before he finishes speaking.
When your wife suggests that you are not spending enough time with her and she wants you to cut back on some of your commitments so that you can spend more time with her, for example, you will give that concern careful consideration and admit that you are neglecting her instead of insisting that she is exaggerating.
And when your spouse points out to you that your lovemaking skills are inadequate and so you must make an effort to learn new skills, for example, you will not let your pride be hurt, but you will view that suggestion as an idea that can enhance the overall marriage and so choose to look beyond feeding your ego with thoughts of self-pity, but choose to look at the fact that you are depriving him or her of pleasure, and so make conscious efforts to meet your spouse half-way.
Acting humbly toward one another prevents bitterness from taking root in the marriage, as well as the struggle over who yields more power in the marriage. Consequently, co-operation remains strong.
Think Of The Consequences Of Your Actions On Your Spouse
Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. (1 Corinthians 10:24).
Too many spouses are too concerned about what they can do to feel comfortable in a marriage, and not what they must do to make the spouse too feel comfortable and happy in the marriage.
So, a wife may choose to go swimming when her husband needs her attention and care. And a husband may choose to go and play golf with his friends when his wife is dying to have a conversation with him.
Seeking your own good at the expense of your spouse helps to make your spouse feel disrespected and that can lead to leaching of love from the heart of your spouse.
Before you do anything, ask yourself, “Would I be happy if my spouse did this to me? How will what I am about to do affect my husband/wife? Will I be a good neighbor when I do this? Will what I am about to do help me to obey the second commandment which says love your neighbor as yourself?”
In this article about focus on the family, I looked at how 1 Corinthians 5:18, Colossians 3:12 and the other two verses can help you to have a great marriage. Applying the principles the verses espouse diligently every day will help you to create an enjoyable marriage.
Another Bible Verse
This article looks at love and respect, controlling your tongue when angry, avoiding revenge and socialization.
̽ All Bible verses were taken from the Revised Standard Version.
Effect of Actions on Spouse
Do you think about how what you are going to do will affect your spouse before acting?
© 2018 Isaac Yaw Asiedu Nunoofio