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For Men: How to Ask a Girl Out

Updated on January 26, 2012

Women are complex creatures. We are in fact one of the biggest challenges straight men will face in their lives. Every man wants an advantage above other men when it comes to women. He wants to believe that he has the magic touch and that women will swoon at his feet. Well men, I’m here to help you out. Who knows women better than women, right?

So you’re a guy. Chances are, you’ve done some asking out in your day. Sometimes your techniques may work. Sometimes you may bomb horrendously. I’ve put together some tips that may help you ask a girl out. These aren’t guaranteed to work, but they’re general tips that most girls will appreciate.

Be yourself.

There’s nothing worse than talking to a guy who thinks he’s trying to be a) Rico Suave b) George Clooney or c) John Wayne. Guys, we KNOW you’re not these men. Don’t pretend like you are; we see right through it. When asking a woman out, be yourself. Not the self that picks your nose and wipes it on the couch cushions. Not the self that plays online poker for days at a time and forgets your responsibilities. Be your best self. We all do this--it’s not cheating. Be the version of yourself you use to impress people. Don’t lie.

Are you this guy? Don't pretend to be if you're not.
Are you this guy? Don't pretend to be if you're not. | Source

Have a plan.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been approached at a bar by a guy who obviously had no idea what he was going to say beforehand. It’s uncomfortable. And often, what you end up saying is either borderline offensive or just plain idiotic. Come up with some ideas of what to say before you approach a girl. It could be as simple as commenting on her outfit. Telling her she looks beautiful tonight. Or a simple, “Hi, my name is ____.” Plan out a little conversation in your head before approaching.

Don’t use cheesy lines.

Cheesy lines genuinely don’t work. Lines don’t usually work, unless the girl thinks you’re so hot she doesn’t care what comes out of your mouth. The rest of us don’t want to hear lines. We all know they’re lines; you’re not fooling anyone. Honesty works much better than lines do. I gave some simple conversation starters in the previous paragraph, and I’d much rather hear those than a line.

Confidence is key.

The main trait that women like is confidence. You hear this everywhere, but it’s 1000% true. As long as you exude confidence, it doesn’t matter so much what you say or what you look like. Women are attracted to men who are confident and carry themselves as such. If you don’t feel confident, fake it. That’s much better than showing all your insecurities right when you meet a woman.

Always put your best foot forward.

Don’t tell a woman you’re nervous to talk to her. Don’t tell her you haven’t had any luck with girls lately. Don’t tell her you’re insecure. Tell her things about yourself that would make her WANT to date you. Be your best self and focus on all your positive traits. Pretend like you’re selling a product, except you’re the product. You’ll have plenty of time to talk about your less desired traits once you’re in a relationship with her.


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    • M. Rose profile imageAUTHOR

      M. Rose 

      6 years ago from Orange County, CA

      hengwug: Lines can be a good conversation starter if you really can't think of anything to say. Just make sure it's not cheesy. Lines that don't SOUND like lines are probably most effective. Be yourself though!

      Ashleymckinnon: Thanks!

      secularist10: Great comment. Totally agree! The topic of lines/routines is a complicated one, hard to explain. What you wrote about balance is very true.

    • secularist10 profile image


      6 years ago from New York City

      Pretty good advice. Lines and routines are almost never a good idea. It's better to have a real conversation and open up emotionally.

      It's good to have an overall plan and some general principles of flirting, seduction, logistics, etc. But too much planning puts you right back into that zone of lines, routines and scripts. Like much in this game, it's important to strike the right balance.

    • Ashleymckinnon profile image


      6 years ago from Coleman, WI

      Great hub!

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Interesting hub. And I thought lines were a good conversation starter.


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