For Me, It's Not About Sexuality , It's About Morality!
I am pro gays, lesbians, heterosexuals & all others, but ANTI psuedo-homophobes!
I'm all for Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, Transgenders, Transsexuals, Heterosexuals, open relationships, monogamous relationships and/or marriage, etc.. I also support gay marriage. For me what is important is that everyone involved is UPFRONT & HONEST! For me, it is not about sexuality at all, it is about morality.
I DO have a problem with people who
intentionally betray and hurt those they are supposed to love, just so
they can have their cake and eat it to. And that goes for all people,
whether they are straight, bi or gay.
Worst of all betrayers are guys who pretend to be totally homophobic, and even accuse their heterosexual wives of being lesbians for 15 years before they finally admit that they are actually bisexual themselves and have known since they were 15, or in my ex's case, since he was 6.
Then when their wives forgive them for lying (and what a whopper of a lie people?) for soooo long, and say that they understand & think it probably explains a lot, and that they still love them and want to support them, the bastards turn around and say something like "actually, I WAS bi, but then you turned me GAY!"
Pseudo-homophobic morons who try to blame their wife for pretending to be something they are not (just so they can carry on in gay bath houses behind their Mrs' backs), are just greedy, power hungry, psychopathic control freaks!
As for other people in society, I also have issues with heterosexual
girls who only "pretend" to be bisexual just because they want
to get attention from all the guys, although they don't offend me us
much as the type of guys I mentioned above. The girls pretending to be
bi are probably only doing so due
to insecurities, which is similar to the reasons that many gay people
remain "in the closet".
While I can understand why many men and women do not "come out" of the proverbial closet, and can certainly say that I blame society for most of these peoples problems and fears, I believe that CLOTHES (not peoples' sexualities) belong in closets... Society certainly has a lot to answer for due to prejudices of the past, but I hope that the tide has well and truly turned and that young people feel they will be supported by coming out. Keeping one's sexuality hidden is no way to live a happy life.
I very much respect GBLT's who are
open about their sexuality, and although I don't have as much respect
for those in the closet, I certainly have nothing against them, at
long as they are simply being discreet about their sexuality, and not living
the lifestyle in secret whilst keeping some poor woman under their
thumb just so they can show the world what they want them to see. It's
people who do that who I have a problem with.
I have quite a few gay and lesbian friends, although I don't think of them as "gay", I think of them as Charlie, Toby, Graham etc... The gay girls and guys I know are funny, warm, empathetic, honest, great with children and have been loyal friends to me, and they don't have any violent anger problems.
Two of the gay couples I know are fighting to be allowed to adopt a child, and I support their decision. I think they would make great parents. They would certainly be much, much better parents than my ex... and many other parents out there too. I am also friends with a lesbian couple who had IVF and have 2 kids. They are great parents too, and their kids are magical.
one of my articles, I have a joke that says "I called your boyfriend
gay and he hit me with his purse!". What it probably should say is "I
called my ex gay and he hit me with his purse!" .
I just realized that it is a joke that may offend some people, and I want to apologize to any who are offended by the statement. Please know that I am pro gays, lesbians, heterosexuals & all others, and I was not thinking of normal GBLT's as a group when I wrote the comment - I just thought the statement said a lot about men who are gay or bi, but who pretend not to be, or who even go so far as to make themselves out to be homophobes, like my ex!
I have a number of gay friends whom I love and respect immensely. "Gay" is how they refer to themselves, and I guess I use the word gay without thinking, because that is what they seem comfortable with. I've seen them get upset for being called "homo's" by other people. Like I said, I don't even think of my "gay" friends as gay, I think of them as Charlie, Toby, Graham etc... If I called one of my gay mates "gay" in any kind of nasty or derogatory way, I would certainly expect him to hit me with his purse, or at least with something, and if anyone else called one of my gay mates gay in such a way, and my mate did not do anything about it, I probably would!
I hope people can understand what I'm trying to say in this article. My story here is, I realize, based on personal experience, but I have learned that I am not alone when it comes to this kind of thing. It was never about his sexuality for me, it was about his lack of morals and his intentional dishonesty, and the fact that he even used his sexuality as another way of trying to control me and have power over me. He lied to me for 15 years, and then when he came clean and I forgave him and tried to support him, he turned around and said I turned him gay (after telling me he had known since he was 6 years old?!?!).
After he came clean about his sexuality, I
asked him many times if he felt he needed to be able to "do his
thing". I said I would probably be able to deal with it if he was
honest, and told him it was honesty that was important, because then I
could make my own choices and if I could not handle it it would be my
problem and not his. I even offered to consider doing it with him... one
day. But he could not accept that and would fly off the handle and say
I did not trust him.
In the end, AFTER we split up, I found out he was registered on 18 different dating sites, 11 of which he had joined since we had been back together. He was after anything and everything, and was even advertising for an Asian Bride....
Thing that I was most disgusted by though, was that he once said to me that if any of his kids ever told him they were gay, he would dis-own them. Another type of people I hate are hypocrites, and he was certainly the king of all hypocrites. In fact he was a walking contradiction. He was a homophobic bisexual and also an atheist with a God complex ...
My message to bastards like my ex: Leave the rest of society alone you WANKERS! OMG we live in the 2010's, it's almost fashionable to be gay or bi, so quit making excuses for your immoral behavior and lies! Go join a local sex addicts support group before you destroy another family...
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Copyright © 2010 Mel Stewart, "safe-at-last", of Perth, Western Australia. All rights reserved.
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