- Gender and Relationships
Friends - The Gems of Life
“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Christopher Robin to Pooh”
~~ A. A. Milne quotes (English Humorist, creator of Winnie-the-Pooh, 1882-1956)
A. A. Milne embodies what many of us want in a friend: someone who'll comfort you, who'll remind you that you can be better that you can be and even that at times, you deserve better. Let's begin by remembering all the qualities, quotes and characters of a friend ideal to you. Some may overrate it by saying, "true friends are hard to find".
In making new friends, on of the first few things you need to do is take your expectations and throw them out the window, as far as possible. When you refuse to impose an expectation, you leave room for the relationship to grow. You'll begin to see the relationship as it is - not something you ideally hope it would be.
Accept the person as she is. Each individual is unique. Her upbringing and environment helps her become who she is - and to her, the beliefs that she has are real. The last thing she needs is you coming in with your set of ideas and imposing it on her. There's no harm in sharing conflicting thoughts, but to preach and impose without her welcoming it may result your relationship ending there. Correct her according to her persona, not yours!
Treat your relationship with respect and have fun together!!! There are limits that needs to be respected. Just because you're friends with someone, you should not expect them or ask them to abuse their position. It could result in more conflicts - a more serious situation could end you behind bars.
There's more than one relationship: remember this bit. Just like you, your new friend may have his own set of friends. As he continues on with life, he may make more and more friends. Respect that. There are things which you both can do together. Likewise, there are other activities and topics which you both may not. As you go about, it's alright for you to make your own friends.
Keep the trust - as friends, you may be entrusted with some personal secrets and information. Keep it to yourself. As something personal to your friend, it's not your place to actually disclose it. You never know what the person asking you about it really wants.
As Benjamin Franklin puts it:
I resolve to speak ill of no man whatever, not even in a matter of truth but rather by some means excuse the faults I hear charged upon others, and upon proper occasions speak all the good I know of everybody.