Friends Wanted: New Stay-At-Home-Mom Seeks other Stay-At-Home-Moms

Why You Need Friends Like You: A New Mom’s Survival Guide

New mom? Already have a good group of friends, you say? They don’t have children, but that won’t matter, you say? Just wait. The friend who always answered your calls will suddenly seem unreachable. The friend who made plans to see you every week may go missing for a month. Sure, you’ll have the occasional “true blue” friend who sticks with you through thick and thin—but even they can vanish when you need them most. Life has changed for you, and not for them. Why is this happening? You now have something they don’t: responsibility. The biggest responsibility there is—a child.

How do I know this will happen to you? I don’t, for sure. But I do know what it’s like to be that friend who skips out on someone with a baby—or to avoid a phone call so I don’t have to hear a wailing child in the background. And I’ve been on the receiving end too. Once I had my son, spontaneous nights out were no longer possible, and weekends out were often unaffordable. My world no longer revolved around me; it revolved around a tiny, red, fuzzy-headed little baby. My childless friends didn’t understand that. I tried to make it work, but in the end, I lost them.

At first, it was incredibly lonely. My family lived more than 500 miles away, and my friends seemed out of reach. Meanwhile, I had this tiny human who seemed to scream for no reason, poop like it was a full-time job, and sleep at the most inconvenient hours. I desperately needed someone to talk to, someone who understood my new life and could reassure me that not knowing what to do 90% of the time didn’t make me a horrible mom. But where could I find these friends—other stay-at-home moms? Approach a mother and child in the grocery store? Put out a “Friends Wanted: New SAHM” ad? There had to be a better, less awkward way.

A few months later, I remembered a website my cousin had mentioned: Meetup.com. This site saved my sanity. I met a group of friends who shared my lifestyle: all first-time moms like me. Suddenly, my week was filled with playdates, outings, and connection. We shared horror stories, compared notes, helped each other through sickness and sleepless nights. Tears were shed (still are), and smiles felt brighter—all because we weren’t alone.

The point is, being a mom is tough. Between teething and tantrums, it’s easy to lose yourself—and your sanity. Go out and find people who understand what you’re going through. One mom in my group recently told us we saved her from postpartum depression. You don’t have to do this alone, and it’s okay to seek out friends living a similar life. I haven’t given up on my old friends, but I’m grateful for my new SAHM friends who make this journey a little lighter—and a lot more joyful.