ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Friends and Lovers: How to Make Relationships Co-Exist with Both

Updated on December 22, 2019
heather92383 profile image

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 14 years.

How do you know when you should kiss your male friend or let him go?
How do you know when you should kiss your male friend or let him go?
Is this love or just a friendship ending fling?
Is this love or just a friendship ending fling?

According to the movie Love Story, being in love was something you'd never apologize for. Expanding upon that concept, friendship was just as important for the human connection. The only thing never explained or explored successfully was whether the two should intersect without disaster. Can a friendship cross into a romantic relationship without the friendship being sacrificed? Is physical intimacy the final nail in your friendship's coffin?

Before exploring the highs and lows of romance with your friend, think about it carefully instead of jumping in head first. If you still feel the same, proceed at your own risk and understand the consequences of a possible failed relationship. Here are five steps to follow to prevent your evolving relationship from crumbling and still maintain the friendship in the process.

  • All relationships are a gamble, even with someone you know. Avoid the misconception that dates with strangers can lead to heartache or an epic love story. Your greatest relationship could literally be with your best friend because they know everything about you. Knowledge is power in making a relationship work. Friends becoming lovers have the added advantage of knowing their partners right off the bat. The first date awkwardness is immediately removed from the equation. All that is left is whether you make the leap into each other's arms or run in the other direction. Roll the dice with caution and take your fate.
  • Try keeping an open mind, especially when you're aware of your partner's flaws. Years of friendship could be a hinderance in making the relationship with your newfound partner progress. You might be fully aware that your partner has commitment issues, but give them the breathing room to trust you. Don't suffocate your partner with relationship pressure. Be yourself and not some relationship bully you never thought you'd become. Love doesn't mean falling into relationship cliches. Break the rules of relationship traditions and you'll be okay.
  • Balance your relationship with enough work and play to keep it interesting. Your friendship may have been effortless, but relationship could be a different story. Work on keeping the same type of spontaneous fun in your relationship because all work and no play makes you one dull couple. Take an impulsive camping trip or go to the Bahamas for some sunny fun. Find new interests and explore old ones. Love allows room for experimentation and loosely defined boundaries.
  • No relationship should be a contest. Your relationship shouldn't be about who says "I love you" first or who made the first move. Just let things progress naturally at a mutually selected pace. Take things slow if things start to get too intense and only take the next step when both of you are ready. Love isn't a bloodsport, unless you both designed it to be. If so, then happy trails to you.
  • Keep the lines of communication open no matter what. Are you running into a relationship brick wall? Is there a battle royale in the works with neither of you budging? Call for a stalemate and talk things out with your partner on neutral ground. Make sure to remain calm and let cooler heads prevail. Don't forget to show passionate interest in your relationship, or kiss it goodbye along with your friendship.

In the end, it remains uncertain whether friends shouldn't become lovers. Sex and romantic intimacy complicate everything. Friendships can fall apart, or grow into something much deeper. Talk to your partner about how you feel and see if they want the same thing. Preserve your friendship by any means necessary, and be happy with your choice as friends or as lovers.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)