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Funny Internet Stories - Rich and Rude Randy Part 2

Updated on December 29, 2018
Mekenzie profile image

My friend Sara has the craziest dates ever! These funny internet stories are meant to entertain as well as warn those on the dating quest.

Sara's Dating Disasters

This article is the second part of a series about one of Sara's online dating disasters.

If you have not read part one of Sara's dating escapade with Randy; click here on Rich and Rude Randy to learn what happened before you got to this page.

Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to part two.

Off we go into the wild blue younder
Off we go into the wild blue younder

Starting Over

During the next few weeks, Randy called, emailed and texted Sara frequently.

At first, it was fun, and she looked forward to hearing from him but during the third week, she was beginning to pick up some questionable attitudes riddled with sarcasm. Some of Randy's opinions and expressions seemed to be a bit judgmental, something one can only uncover with time. Oh dear Sara, if only you had only known....

Randy arranged the second date. He called one day to let Sara know that he had made plane reservations for a three-day trip the following weekend.

Sara felt very uneasy when Randy didn't even ask if she was free or if he could spend time with her. As it happened, she did not have plans and now felt stuck because he had already purchased the tickets.

She learned that Randy would be arriving on Friday. Being the person Sara is she gave Randy the benefit of the doubt. 'Could I have missed something? Did he indicate sometime that he wanted to come to see me this weekend?' For the life of her, she could not recall any conversation about this visit previous to today. Later that week he called to let her know he’d be flying into an airport about two and a half hours from her house.

Sara told him that there were two other airports much closer to her town. Randy had already set the reservations so he continued on with his plans. "Hey Sara, do you think you could meet me at the airport?" Randy asked. Sara was baffled that he would expect her to drive that far to pick him up. She tried to answer him but heard herself stuttering .. oh, uh, well, No, .. I have to work – I can’t ask for time off at this point.

The calls that followed Randy's departure included more 'suggestions' that Sara try to get off and meet him. Sara felt pressured and was not looking forward to this visit but she tried to remain open minded, after all, there was a lot she liked about Randy.

When Randy arrived at the airport he rented a car and drove to her house. In preparation for Randy’s arrival, Sara had decided to implement some caution by inviting her grown daughter and children to join them for dinner and to spend the night too. She felt she needed to put this plan of action in place in case Randy didn't book a motel again; which, of course, he had not.

Randy arrived at 6:30pm. Sara went to the door when she heard him knocking. She opened it with a smile and he greeted her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She introduced him to her daughter Jill and her grandchildren ... Randy was cordial ... but not warm.

Sara had prepared a very nice meal that evening and as they sat around the table talking, laughing and eating, Sara was debating about taking another portion. As she looked at the tempting food she made, one of those exaggerated proclamations slipped out as she said, “I probably should not take seconds; I feel like I have gained 50 lbs.” Randy spoke up as he shook his head up and down saying, "Yes, I can see that.” Sara froze in place and stared at him in disbelief… “Do you mean it looks like I have gained 50 lbs in 3 weeks?” Randy answered, “Well Yes, but it doesn't bother me.. “ Sara responded, “Well, it bothers me!”

Happy as a Pig in Mud and Overweight Woman
Happy as a Pig in Mud and Overweight Woman | Source

Day at the Beach

The next day Sara woke up dreading the day ahead. She was less than enthusiastic to spend the day with Randy. His comment the night before had insulted her and thrown her for a loop.

She had decided they would spend the day at the Beach. The beach was within walking distance and as they walked Sara felt the warmth of the sun kissing her cheeks. As Randy walked beside her, he chattered animatedly using his hands to illustrate. Sara thought he seemed as happy as a pig in mud. He was oblivious to how his rude remark had hurt her.

The beach was full. Sara searched until she spotted a place right by the water. She spread her favorite blue beach blanket out on the glistening sand then invited Randy to sit next to her.

It was a lovely day. Sara enjoyed feeling the warmth of the sun on her face. There was a slight breeze wafting off the big lake. Randy engaged her in some light conversation as Sara dug her feet into the sand and relished the earthy feel and warmth.

Eventually, Randy told her that he was getting hungry and suggested they grab a bite to eat. Sara agreed it was time to eat. Randy got up first and offered his hand, as Sara reached for his hand his face wore a chessy cat grin as he said, “How about YOU get up now so we can make a spot for ALL of these people.”

Sara felt a flush run up into her face. She stared at him in total disbelief. Suddenly she pictured herself as a grossly overweight woman sporting an exercise outfit, running like mad, trying to lose weight. Talk about adding insult to injury this guy should have written the book.

Sara checked her attitude and in a controlled voice spoke, “That was unnecessary and rude Randy!.” Randy smiled and then chided her by saying “Sara, can’t you take a joke?” Sara was indignant! “That was not funny – it was outrageous!” Sara insisted. Randy tried again “Haven’t you ever heard of sarcasm?” Sara ended the conversation by saying “Yes, and I hate it!

Will you leave a Tip?
Will you leave a Tip? | Source

From Bad to Worse

As they walked in silence toward the diner, Randy tried to hold her hand. Sara was having none of it and reached for her hair to fiddle with the clips. He grinned and spoke lightly, “If I buy the lunch, can you leave a tip?” Sara just shook her head numbly and said, “No, I cannot leave a tip, I don’t even have my purse with me.” She was disgusted with Randy and knew she could not tolerate much more.

After lunch, they made their way back to Sara's house. Sara told Randy to make himself comfortable because she had things to do. She made herself busy in the kitchen while Randy relaxed in her favorite chair. As she was working Randy called out, "How about we go out for a romantic dinner tonight?” Sara wondered if he was making an effort to make up for his misconduct but then he added, “Something not too expensive.” “What is wrong with this guy? ” thought Sara …"I can hardly wait until he leaves!"

At dinner time, they drove to a quaint place called Toni’s Temptations. Before being seated, Randy asked to see a menu. After he had studied it he furrowed his eyebrows and said, “This is, kind of, pricey, is there somewhere else we could go?” Sara felt humiliated and shocked. She felt herself flush with anger as it worked its way up to her cheeks. Sara was floored because Toni’s is NOT what most would consider pricey and she could not believe he would reject the place she had made reservations.

Sara was rattled and tongue-tied as he led her out the door. When they got back to the car, Sara told Randy that he needed to choose the place. She was silent, but Randy seemed oblivious. He was humming an irritating tune as he drove to the local Chinese buffet, Ahhhhh what romance awaits us at the buffet, not THAT night, Not EVER!


More Insults

It was the night before Randy was to leave. Sara made sure that her daughter Jill would stay overnight again. Jill invited her boyfriend for dinner and a movie.

After a somewhat awkward but uneventful dinner, the four sat down to watch a movie. Just before the film began, Randy looked over at Jill quizzically as he said, "with a nose that big … how do people see around you?" Sara's daughter's lips struggled into a nervous smile, but she said nothing. Sara sat there stunned into another silence. She felt her mama bear heart welling up within her.

Later Jill asked in a distressed voice, “Mom, Is my nose really big?” Sara told Jill that her nose was honestly very petite and that she couldn't wait to get rid of this rude man. The audacity of this man insulting her precious daughter.

Sara made it through the movie with mind racing and emotions running rampant. "He is the rudest man I have ever met! I can't believe I let him get away with that ridiculous and offensive remark."

It was late when the movie ended. Jill went out on the porch to chat with her boyfriend and say goodnight. Sara decided she would duck out by telling Randy she was going to lay down with her granddaughter. Sara explained that she might be awhile as she hurried to her room not waiting to hear his response. Laying quietly she began to feel guilty. "Here this man came all this way just to see me and all I can think of is how to get rid of him." The dialogue went on and on in her mind until she forced herself to get up.

When she came out of her room, she found Randy sitting at his computer again. She told him she was getting herself a drink of water and asked if there was anything he needed. He looked at her and raised his eyebrows.. his lips curled up mischievously as he asked, what do you have in mind, Sara? Sara was thinking .. How about a punch in the gut Dumbo! But instead replied, “A glass of soda, water or milk?

The Last Day

There was still one last day to endure. Sara had decided to take Randy to her Church. Before they left the house, Sara noticed Randy’s fly was open. She kept hoping he would see it and zip it up but he did not.

Although she did not want to tell him, she decided the alternative, taking a strange man to church with his pants unzipped was worse. Walking to the car, she casually remarked, “Your zipper is undone.” Randy reached and as he was zipping, he smiled and said, “I can see where you’ve been looking." Poor Sara was mortified. He must have noticed the shocked expression on her face as he continued, "It’s not a bad thing for you to look there.” That did it!!! Sara had her fill of his ignorance and his stupid comments. She answered Randy sternly, “That comment is totally inappropriate!”

During the Church service, Randy seemed disconnected; he left the sanctuary, for a time, without a word to Sara. After the service, Sara asked him what he thought of her Pastor’s Sermon. Randy answered; “It was like shaving with a banana.” Although she didn’t have a clue what he meant, she was sure it was yet another insult".

The next day Randy prepared to leave for his home. Sara was dumbfounded by his easy going demeanor. He acted absolutely clueless as to the chaos he had created during his stay.

Saying goodbye he flashed a smile at Sara who was keeping her distance. He told her he would keep in touch and that he had a good time except for not having any time alone. Sara had to keep herself under control. She wanted to roll her eyes in disgust but instead she put on a smile and waved him goodbye. All she could think was “Thank God he's leaving and this is nightmare will soon be OVER!”


another suiter down the tubes
another suiter down the tubes | Source

The End

After Randy had arrived back home, emails started to flood Sara’s box. Sara was working on formulating an email of her own.

She wrote to Randy and tried her best to communicate the injury and insults of his visit. She read the letter to me, and I was very impressed with how clearly and kindly she wrote. As she brought her letter to an end, it was very evident that the relationship was over.

Randy's response was filled with distress, and his words revealed that he was utterly confused. He could not understand why she took him wrong. He did not accept Sara's decision about the end of their relationship. He continued with more and more emails. In one email he told her that it must have been his comment about the Church. He went on to say he was just going to have to leave it to God to show her. The arrogance of this man was unbelievable!

He tried pleading for another chance. He told her he didn’t care about her weight (she’s not fat) and claimed he was only teasing her. He explained that she needed to lighten up and not be so sensitive. UGH! Sara had tried to communicate but to no avail. He asked for his picture back, which she gladly gave, but he continued trying to woo her.

As has been established in Part One; once Sara makes up her mind .. that’s it, no turning back .. it was done and over.

Another story with THE END

Sara's Choice

If I was Sara

See results

Sara's Internet Dating Stories

  • Internet Dating Stories (Part 1) Too Much Too Soon Todd

    I have a beautiful friend who is a sweetie. She wants to find true romance and a lifetime love. She is a very busy gal and chooses to look for men online. She has had quite a few hilarious and weird dates as...

  • Internet Dating Stories (Part 3) Roaming Richard

    Before I get to the details of this dating story, Id like to tell you a bit more about Sara. I believe that the more you know about the main character the more you will appreciate the craziness of the...

© 2013 Susan Ream


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