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Gay, O.K.?

Updated on March 14, 2016

Lesbians are women who wear comfortable shoes.

— Robin Williams

For homosexually oriented persons deciding when and where to be disguised, where and to whom to open up to, may even seem as routine tasks. Many suffer painful isolation from their families, because their identity cannot be accepted. Homosexual people do not find, or barely find, any support in society: when demanding their rights related to housing, the adoption of children, employment, marriage, military service, etc., they are faced with insufficient legal protection.

And then the rest of us wonders: "Why do they parade?" The casual exchange of opinion that took place at my former college hall, ended up with my female colleague’s comment, as following: "I can might as well parade with my own boyfriend!" With one tiny difference, to be considered- you hold and are entitled to human rights just mentioned above, rights to which every man is entitled to, and to you, sticks and stones are not thrown at, neither does someone call you f****t, d**e and alike. 92% of homosexuals were victims of verbal attacks and threats, and 24% have reported physical assaults, some of which were fatal. Why? I suppose it would be too boring if we lived in peace and harmony and accepted each other regardless of gender, color or sexual orientation?

In the year of 1950 Dr. Evelyn Hooker decided, using a series of psychological tests, to examine thirty homosexual and thirty heterosexual men. Men within the two groups were not differed in terms of age, IQ and level of education. They have themselves already, before the mentioned research, known whether they were this or that sexual orientation. Not one out of 60 respondents at the time of the research was in any sort of therapy.

All the men went trough exhaustive testing series of serious and scientifically validated psychological tests such as the TAT (Thematic Apperception Test) or MAPS (Make-A-Picture-Story), which examined the pattern of thinking, power of observation, individual attitudes towards self and others, the question of personal identity and alike. Then, the test results were interpreted by experts for certain tests of the above mentioned, while not knowing which of the tests were given to a heterosexual as well as a homosexual person. The task of the experts was to assess the degree of psychological adjustment of the respondents.

Results were as follows: experts did not find any difference in the level of psychological adjustment, just as psychological health between homosexual and heterosexual men, which meant that homosexuals are psychologically normal just like heterosexuals (and for same it is no longer necessary to be subjected to the old practice, electroshocks and lobotomy- homosexuals, that is).

In the year of 1973, homosexuality was removed from the Diagnostic and static Manual of Mental Disorders of the American Psychiatric Association (attitude which was officially abandoned in 1987).

In the year of1975 the American Psychological Association adopted the official position that homosexuality itself is not a disorder of judgment, stability, reliability or general social and professional skills.

In the year of 1990 Psychological Association declared that the alleged healing of homosexuality is not scientifically grounded and that such procedures may be damaging to the mental health of otherwise healthy people.

When Homosexuality Hits Home: What to Do When a Loved One Says, "I'm Gay"

What exactly is the meaning of the term 'homosexuality'?

"Homosexuality is assumed as emotional and erotic attraction directed toward same-sex partner. Human sexuality exists as a continuum, in most people it is the interaction of biological, cultural, historical and psychosocial impact." (Garnets & Kimmel, 1991)

John W. Money (1988) considers that the term ‘sexual preference’ is incorrect, since people do not choose their sexuality, but it is 'something that just happens... like being tall or short, left-handed or right-handed, color blind or that that differs colors'. According to Money, no one wants to be more homosexual rather than heterosexual, or bisexual rather than monosexual. It is also considered that the concept of choice is not only untenable, but also politically dangerous: if people choose their sexual preference, intolerant people will punish those who have 'chosen wrong', considering it as eligible. However, instead of merely advocating biological determinism (blaming the wrong genes), Harvard professor and psychologist considers that the right paradigm is nature /critical period/education.

So, there are biological, sociological, psychological factors (such as trauma or abuse) that we need to consider, while some religions regard homosexuality as sin, especially Christianity, that the said orientation is considered a fine to the offspring for the sins of their ancestors (‘New life treats us’, James Manjackal ) - it seems fair, right? However, if you would like an instant recipe on how to become gay, you would experience some trouble finding it!

Love yourself, whatever makes you different, and use it to make you stand out. Mine is my voice and the fact that I'm gay: well, the fact that I'm flamboyantly gay.

— Ross Mathews

Somehow, it seems to me as if we were repeating same mistakes over and over again. Discrimination on the basis whatever of the differentiation- discrimination based on gender, discrimination based on skin color, discrimination based on sexual orientation... It is known that humans fear of what is unknown to us, but at least today, in the 21st century, access to information is very much facilitated. Richard Dawkins, so beautifully, says: 'Why should we respect tradition just because it's the tradition?' As if the matter of passed time is to be taken up as value of its representation? A tradition used to be the inability of women to vote, once we even took the same and burned them at stake for dubious life occupations, once the tradition was the separation of so called white and black schools... Do you recognize the pattern?

I hope that one day we will be able to look back at the past and establish ‘Somewhere back in time, tradition was the discrimination of gays.’ I will personally rather listen to own inner voice of reason, personal moral compass in deciding on what is 'good' and what is 'bad', instead of the authority doing it for me. Religion keeps us incapable of autonomous ethics, but I ask you, if you managed to free yourself from its mental shackles, would you still think the same? I think that marriage is to be considered as an agreement between two persons in which they want to crown their love and care for one another, without unnecessary interference of external judges, councilors, police officers and jury, and regarding own child, I would rather confided it in two (caring, responsible) mothers, but it left it at the orphanage.

People to Be Loved: Why Homosexuality Is Not Just an Issue

Do you find gay to be O.K.?

See results

Perhaps we should worry less about judging people for being Mormon or Baptist or Muslim or gay or straight or black or white or Latino or by their religious or political brands and worry more about electing thoughtful, serious and ethical politicians on both sides of the political isle who are willing to work together for progress.

— Charity Sunshine Tillemann-Dick


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