ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Gearjammer

Updated on July 2, 2019
Edward J. Palumbo profile image

As a driver, I watched my social circle shrink to a precious few because I was unable to nurture relationships. That was a common problem.

Driving on this endless road, can’t get her off my mind

So many things I should have told her then,

But in all the confusion, the only words that I could find

Echo in my memory once again.

I know I should have stayed there, could have kissed away the tears,

But the time had come to face life honestly.

And now our lives have branched apart and I can’t replace those years,

I protected her from everything but me.

The road is no escape route from the feelings that I hide,

My memories move faster than my wheels.

I’d give her the satisfaction of knowing how I hurt inside,

But there’s no way to convey the way it feels.

I lean against my rig and see a stranger in the chrome

With wrinkled denim jeans and tired eyes.

18 wheels and greasy meals will not replace a home,

But I’m addicted to the green lights and blue skies.

When others show me photos of their children, home and wife,

I envy what I could have had and lost.

The highway is my mistress and the white line is my life,

It’s too late now to itemize the cost.

Running westbound on I-40 toward a setting desert sun,

The horizon is a fire-line of light.

I’d drive ten thousand miles to see to see a flaming sky like that.

I thank you, Lord, for giving me my sight.

Having booked my mileage through a thousand little towns,

On every country road and Interstate,

This will be my last commitment, I’ll shut this diesel engine down,

And let the other truckers pull the freight.

No more breakdowns, repairs or permits…no more tollroads, scales and fines

Yes, I’ll gladly give it up when I am done.

But this fever isn’t wearing off, and I must make up my mind,

Lord, give me the strength to quit…after one more run.

Ed finishes inspection.
Ed finishes inspection. | Source

Background

There is a time for change...a time to distance ourselves from everything and everyone that doesn't bring out the best in us. Driving provided me with the distance, isolation and opportunity to make necessary decisions. After 117,000 accident-free miles that carried me through 44 of the 48 contiguous states, I had the time and objectivity to develop and commit to new priorities. When the decision was made, I made another run or two (or three), then stopped driving, which was oddly difficult for me, since one commitment blended almost seamlessly into another. I returned to a scheduled part-time work schedule in a different environment and to college classes. I'm happily married now with two fine children, but that would not have been possible if I continued driving as an independent trucker.

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)