ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Gender Norms

Updated on June 16, 2016
Christina St-Jean profile image

I am a mom of two awesome children who teach me more daily than I ever thought possible. I love writing, exercise, movies, & LGBT advocacy.

Source

What does gender even matter?

The issue in North Carolina over the transgender community being required - if not forced, by law - to use the washroom corresponding to their birth gender baffles me, as I know it baffles so many others.

After all, the lawyers in the 90s television show "Ally McBeal" managed quite nicely, thank you, with a unisex bathroom, where both men and women could freely intermingle as they went about their business. Granted, discussion about sexuality as a whole was just starting to pick up steam in society, so it's small wonder that issues regarding someone's sexuality and whether or not they could legitimately use the facilities corresponding with the gender they currently had would be a relatively new source of concern.

Here's the thing. I have children, both of whom are girls by birth. Both are constantly coming into the bathroom while I'm trying to take care of my own business and I am in various states of dress, if not completely naked, as they battle over sink space and who poked who when. Regardless, they have seen me in all of my glory as I try and take care of the traditional activities that one tries to take care of in the washroom.

Both have also seen my husband for much the same reasons. We have a busy household, and modesty essentially gets chucked out the window as we're scrambling to get our days under way - or children to bed at night. They tend to giggle more at my husband naked than me, largely because the human form does look just a little ridiculous, regardless of what gender you are.

My girls don't give a rat's behind about gender. For them, fuss over gender is narrow minded and petty. They don't get why 21st century society is so hung up on gender. My oldest now has short hair, by her choice, and tends to dress in looser athletic wear. All too frequently, she gets told she's a boy coming into a girl's change room, with people getting quite unpleasant with me when I tell them that yes, indeed, she is a girl. She also gets bugged on occasion in public restrooms and in school, and it's gotten to the point where she is uncomfortable using public facilities.

What happened to if you're not sure, keep your mouth closed? Better yet, what happened to viewing people as exactly that without worrying about what body parts are between their legs? It's hard enough being a kid nowadays; with kids trying to decide what their sexual orientation and their gender might be, they have far more occupying their thoughts than previous generations ever seemed to. How is that fair to them?

Granted, life is not always fair, and that's the really troubling part about it. We can't promise our kids the fairness, respect and dignity that we try to teach them and treat them with, but we can promise them that we can help them learn resiliency, and hopefully, teach them the tolerance that so many others appear to lack in society.

That's why organizations like GSA (Gender and Sexuality Alliance) are so critical. Where else can kids be accepted for who they choose to be? School hallways and playgrounds are equivalent to battlegrounds that kids have to navigate daily; why make life for them even further complicated by forcing gender normative behaviors on them? Isn't it a lot more important that our kids learn to be positive, respectful contributors to society?

At least, that's what I'm trying to convey to my kids.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)