ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Get Off The Center - How to Not Care About What Others Think of You in Social Situations

Updated on September 7, 2017
matthewjoe1 profile image

Matthew is a college student who is passionate about writing. He lives in Nigeria, West Africa.

Musing, ruminating and mulling over the supposed idea that people are thinking something about you can be very bothersome, especially if you’re usually introspective. The assumption that people are always on the lookout for you isn’t bearable, especially for someone who is nerdy.

Also, the thought that whatever you do can be picked out and used against you is something that has stalled a lot of people from being inexpressive and unreserved. This is very problematic because we don’t get to see the real personality or attitude of people just because of some alleged opinion they think people would make of them. No wonder many people are never comfortable being around others. Here are a few ideas that can get you off that wrong mental attitude.

First of all, you’d have to decide not to care at all to please people. You see, if you keep your focus on doing something that pleases people, so they won’t have an ugly opinion of you, you’d be amazed that it’s not just going to work out as you expected. Interestingly, those who seek to please others that are mostly regarded with less esteem; on the other hand, those who don’t bother at all about whether or not they are pleasing others are actually the ones revered with much respect or esteem.

But why is this so, it’s because trying to please others is a sign of mediocrity. Mediocre people are the ones who put their self worth at the expense of someone else’s approval. That’s just not the way to go. When you embrace vulnerability, you give yourself liberty and freedom to be uninhibited, not caring about who is being pleased or not being pleased.

Furthermore, people are not wired in such a way as to be pleased when they see the best in others, they’re predominantly happy when you’re under them seeking and obsequiously begging for their approval. Not everyone will be seeking your preferment at the expense of theirs. Be wise and refuse to wait for their approval, give yourself approval, you’re something to be reckoned with—God’s highest form of creation, and be in control of your life.

Focusing on yourself is in itself a selfish act. No selfish and self-seeking person, with a mixture of pride, would ever make it socially. As a matter of fact, it takes selflessness to really make an impact in any area of life. A salient reason for being introspective is always because of fear not being too outlandish or socially unaccepted. Apart from the fact that this doesn’t help in anyway, it goes a step further by reproducing the highly dreaded social awkwardness. It’s like a downward spiral effect that reinforces an unwanted behavior over and over again.

Jack Canfield, in his book on How to Get from where You are to Where You Want to Be, writes, “Our limiting thoughts create images in our mind, and those images govern our behavior, which in turn reinforces that limiting thought.” Your mind has the ability to recreate in your environment what you focus on it. To change this recurrence, you must get your view of the imperfect you off yourself and focus on the high-class, better, advanced you. You must inundate your mind with thoughts and images of the more beautiful you, hence offsetting the negative recurrences.

Now, here’s a new question you can ask yourself, “What do I think of them?” Without a doubt, this question will really help in shifting your focus or your attention off yourself. Instead of focusing your mind on the self-impairing thoughts of what others think of you, why not turn the tides and ask yourself what you think of them. This is very important because, as initially stated, the mind has the ability to recreate what is focused on it. Hence, letting your mind focus on it would relief you of mental burden and inhibition. You’d even literally begin to feel a relief as a result of the offload of your initial burden.

In conclusion, Stephen Erdman, an expert on issues relating to social anxiety says, “A powerful way of focusing your mind on anything is to ask a question that focuses you on that thing.” For example, if you ask yourself, “What do I think of them (That is; the other person)?” Your mind automatically begins to focus on trying to answer it hence a busy mind.

Having your mind on this new concept totally blanks out the initial thought of what others think of you. This is a way of tricking your mind into forgetting and dissipating the unsuitable initially assumed thought of what they’re thinking you. Focusing on others would help you have a wonderful and blissful social life; not focusing on what others thinks of you.

© 2017 Matthew Joseph


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)