ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How to get a girl to like you - Free and easy ways to help you attract the girl of your dreams.

Updated on October 11, 2012

So, there is a girl that you really like and you would like to llearn how to get her to like you. Well, it's easy when you know how. In brief, to get a girl to like you, you need to develope yourself in two ways. First of all be aware of your outward appearance and how it plays a part in attracting members of the opposite sex and secondly you need to work on your inner self to ensure you have attractive characteristics. By improving yourself in this way, there will be various payoffs, one of which may be that you get a girl to like you , although it's not guaranteed.

Assess and improve your outward appearance

It is important that you take care of your appearance, this signals that you care about yourself enough to look after yourself. There is a difficult balance, you want to look as if you look after yourself, but not so much that you look like you spend hours in the bathroom. What you are aiming for is an "effortless natural best" look.

Most of the following tips are fairly obvious but it doesn't harm to repeat them.

Personal Hygeine - Pay attention to personal hygeine, make sure you smell fresh by having a shower everyday, using a subtle deodorant and having clean teeth and fresh breath.

  • Personal Grooming - Pay attention to your personal grooming - keep your finger nails clean and trimmed, (don't forget your toenails), trim your hair and get rid of any split ends. treat skin problems such as spots, but don't be obsessed over them, everyone gets spots.
  • Weight - If you are unhealthily overweight, loose some weight for your own benefit.
  • Posture - Assess and improve your posture. How you carry yourself says a lot about you. Stand up straight, tummy in, chest out, shoulders down, relax and carry yourself with confidence. Move around in a relaxed way.
  • Smile and look happy and relaxed.
  • Your voice and speech. Pay attention to the tone of your voice, the way you speak and the words you use. Sometimes, the less you say the better, it adds an air of mystery and quiet confidence
  • Dress in a current style. You don't need to be overly fashionable, just wear an outfit that is clean, based on classic styles with a few trendy items added.
  • Wear something interesting - If she doesn't know you exist, this will help you to get her attention. If she comments on the item, even better, this gives you the excuse to start a conversation with her.
  • Look sensual. the idea here is to make her want to touch you. For example, wear something like a soft snuggly sweater with a bit of mohair in that will make her want to cuddle you as it is so soft. If you are lucky, your hair may have a really sensual style and make her want to run your hands through it. Sensual fabrics include leather, (wear a nice leather watch or bag), and silk. A silk shirt begs to be touched.
  • Smell sensual - if you want to appeal to her sense of smell go for a nice expensive aftershave with earthy / woody smell. Don't wear anything cheap, it is better to wear nothing than to smell cheap.
  • Move in a sensual way. Be aware of how you move, in particular how you use your hands. For example, do you play a guitar when she is around, do you play it in a sensual way? If you have given her a lift in a car, do you drive in a relaxed and sensual way? Women notice these things.

Assess and improve your inner self

This is the second half of where you may need to work on yourself and is the most important. It is no good being good looking if what lies underneath is pure ugliness.

Some of the following qualities are good to develope and are attractive to women.

Kindness and compassion Have an awareness of other people and show kindness to others where ever possible. Life is a hard struggle for a lot of people and a little kindness goes a long way.

Respect for your self and others - Learn to love and respect yourself, and others, no matter how hard it seems at times. Be respectful to your family. A girl will often look at how you treat other members of your family as it is usually an indication of how you will eventually treat her once the novelty has worn off.

Become an attentive listener Most people prefer to talk about themselves, rather than listening to others, so become a good listener and people will soon start saying "He is so easy to talk to".

Playfulness and sense of humour . All women like a man with a sense of humour who can make her laugh, so develope your sense of humour but make sure it it genuine and kind. Never use humour to put other people down in order to make yourself look good. Be playful with her and tease her.

Be able to communicate in an open and honest way. A lot of relationships start on a superficial level, with lots of joking around, but are only able to develope into something more serious if both people involved are able to commincate in an open and honest way with each other. This is called developing rapport.

Be aware of body language in communication - Body language or non-verbal communication is really interesting. You can use it to find out if someone likes you or to signal that you like them. The signals are often very subtle and you may find it useful to communicate in this way. Look up some articles on body language on the internet.

Confidence Have confidence in your self, if you don't no one else will. Too boost your confidence, look back at your life so far and think about all the things you achieved, whether it was achieving a goal or passing an exam. You did it! You can do it again if you put your mind to it. Use this to boost your confidence. Confidence is apparently the number one thing that attracts a woman to a man. Make sure it is a quiet confidence though rather than an arrogant cockiness.

Deal with any issues that you may have If you have a problem with things such as drugs or alchohol, or emotional issues such as anger or abusive relationships, or poor time management such as always being late, deal with them first for your own sake. These issues are your issues. It is best to clear them up before you enter into a relationship with another person as it is unfair to expect them to deal with it too.

Take up one or all of the following hobbies:

  • Dancing - Lots of girls/women dream of finding a man who has a good sense of rhythm and can dance. So, go to a dance class, dancing gets you into the rhythm or flow of life. It also enables you to have greater self awareness and connect with your inner self and with others. If a man has a good rhythm on the dance floor, it signals that he may also have good rhythm in the bedroom too.
  • Take up a martial art - Learning a martial art is good for you on may levels, it instills discipline and self confidence, self-awareness and forces you to pay attention to the current moment.
  • Learn meditation - Like Martial Arts, learning meditation is good for you on many levels. It is a good way to help relieve stress and promote a sense of peace and calmness. It enhances your mental and emotional health. It also helps develope your concentration skills as you focus your awareness on the current moment. It is also good spiritual practice.
  • Voluntary work - Helping others helps get you out of yourself and gives you a greater awareness of other people in the world. It gives you a different perspective on life and can be incredibly fulfilling knowing that you have helped someone else. It adds another dimension to yourself which people will find interesting and you can talk about.

Develope positive thinking and energy - Develope a positive can-do attitude and positive energy. This will make people enjoy being around you. Having a negative attitude and low energy level puts people off.

Have a purpose in life or goals that you are working towards - A man who knows what he wants and where he is going in life is attractive to women. By having a clear path a woman can decide whether she wants to travel with you on that path too.

Read religious books such as the bible - These books gives good guidelines on what qualities are important for a man to develope in order for him to be successful in the world. These guidelines are timeless and have stood the test of time. Many of the tips I am giving can be found in the bible.

Persistence - don't give up. Sometimes it takes time for a girl to see you in a new light. I have a friend who was pursued by a man for many years. At first she wasn't interested in him and he stood on the side lines watching as she went from one disasterous relationship to another. However, he was always there for her as a friend and his persistance finally paid off - they are now married.

If all this seems like too much hard work try something counter-intuitive.

Practise Non-attachment - This is a very Buddhist way of thinking, which when I have applied it in my life I have experienced some interesting results. The philosophy is that suffering is caused by attachment, either to people, things or thoughts.

You want a girl to like you and you may be suffering because of it. So don't be so attached to this girl, don't think about her constantly. In effect, let her go.

Say to yourself:

"I don't need this girl, I am happy as I am. If she likes me she likes me, if she doesn't, it doesn't matter. I am happy as I am".

Think of her and say to yourself, "I let go of my attachment to you and I wish you well in your life". Then let your attachment go. You will probably feel a great sense of emotional relief as you let her go followed by a deep feeling of peace. Enjoy that feeling.

You really don't need to try so hard to get a girl to like you. There are billions of girls and women out there. The world is an exciting place. You are going to meet lots of women throughout your life who are all beautiful and amazing in their own unique way. Treat them well and enjoy their company.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Very good

    • rontlog profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from England

      Hi Ami,

      I am glad liked my Hubpages article. Thank you.

      I am sorry to hear about your situation - it is certainly a difficult one.

      I started to type a reply to you, but it turned out to be really long. I realised that it is such a classic problem that many people face, so I decided to write my reply as a Hubpages article. Here is the link for it. I hope you find it useful. Good luck and let me know how you get on.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      really loved the article.... bt i dnt know that if i love some1 and she love some1 else then wat to do.. i think she is confused between me and the other guy... plz suggest me... i can do anything for her... plz help..

    • profile image

      Pop daddy 

      7 years ago

      I rilli luv dhx article dhx great u change mah lyf

    • profile image

      Balwinder Singh 

      7 years ago


    • profile image


      7 years ago

      it is the best article i'v read till now... and the best part of it is the last column ,the buddhist philosophy...appreciate it:)


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)