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Heartbreak In Relationship Can Be Put To A Stop

Updated on January 1, 2011

It can be so confusing when a man says he cares for you -— even loves you -— but is not making any moves to get closer or commit to you.

I don,t like this
I don,t like this
Is not my fault,who's fault?
Is not my fault,who's fault?
Leap before you frog
Leap before you frog

HAVE most of your single friends gotten engaged or married in the last few years leaving you wondering when your time will come? And how do you make sure your relationship grows deeper and moves forward? You need to know how commitment works when it comes to men, and how to jump past all the resistance and frustration other women run into to enjoy a solid relationship that grows with the years.

If you find yourself wondering what’s going on and what he’ll do next instead of just enjoying his attention and affection, you’re in good company.

It happens to so many women: they attach themselves to a man and invest their time and hearts in him, yet he remains slightly beyond their reach. And because women are so attached, they start making excuses for him when he’s not showering them with the attention they crave.

On the one hand, they are willing to give him his “space” and be understanding about all the other pressures in his life. On the other,  they become angry because they aren’t getting what they want and need. It can get so confusing that no matter what women do, they end up feeling awful.

If they Let People Mistreat them, They Will
I remember how my sister used to be so forgiving of the men she was dating, even though it would hurt her. There was one man who took time away from her in order to see an old girlfriend who was in town visiting. Yet, she kept on seeing him, even though she knew he not only wasn’t committing to her, he was humiliating her!

I’m telling you this embarrassing story so that you won’t accept any kind of behaviour that doesn’t feel good to you.

She learned some hard lessons and cried the tears that go with such, she is very good at expressing her displeasure in a way nearly anyone can hear.

Because, believe it or not, these tips don’t get tossed out the minute you’re married. You’ll want to use them for life so your man will keep falling in love with you forever.

You Don’t Want Him - You Want A Real Relationship
This may sound simple enough, but most of women do just the opposite. Being aware that your priority is a real relationship is something they often forget. Women express, sometimes over and over again with words, their body language and things they do, that he is what they want.

“No man should ever feel like he’s your man of choice, he’s your “One” or that you’re seeing only him. Not until he’s committed.”

When women get so focused on the need for any one man, it’s easy to get blinded. That’s when they start making excuses for him that may in fact be relationship deal breakers for them. If what you want is an exclusive relationship, yet you keep seeing him if he wants something else for fear of losing him, you’re really only losing yourself and all that is important to you.

How To Get a Commitment Without Asking For It
If, instead, you speak your truth, then you are honouring yourself without putting pressure on him. You could say something like this:

“I don’t want a boyfriend. I’m looking for someone to walk off into the sunset with and get married and have a family. And so, I don’t want to get exclusive with anyone until that guy shows up.”

And that’s it. You don’t ask him for anything. You also continue dating other men until you have the commitment that makes you happy. I know this is hard, but trust me when I say you are doing the best thing you possibly can to ensure your happiness.

You have to keep your options open while keeping your sanity. One of my sister’s big aunts told her that this is actually the way dating used to work in the old days. She has been happily married for several decades. She once told her how, when she got engaged to her uncle, she had to write three letters to men she was seeing!

And, by the way, she said this to her as her uncle was sitting right beside her with a glint in his eye. Our aunt was a smart lady: She was taking care of herself first by making sure she was committing to the right man, someone who completely adored her and wanted to give her his heart forever.

Women deserve no less and at the same time never commit yourself to him until he commits first.

A stitching in time saves nine.

  Happy new year in advance.


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    • 123chri123 profile imageAUTHOR


      3 years ago

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    • 123chri123 profile imageAUTHOR


      3 years ago

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    • 123chri123 profile imageAUTHOR


      3 years ago

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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      7 years ago

      I think you made some excellent points. It makes a lot of sense "in theory".

      However in most cultures these days no man wants to date or get to know a woman he knows is dating other guys or keeping her options open.

      In fact most women would hate it if they knew a guy was dating multiple women while trying to make up his mind. Therefore people tend to keep it a secret if they are seeing multiple people and naturally if discovered they are considered cheaters.

      I recently gave similar advice to men in a hub titled 5 Reasons Why Men Should Not Get Married.

      When it's all said and done we are looking for someone who loves and appreciates us as well as wanting what we want. It's not a matter of being "right or wrong" but rather "agree or disagree". Each person must be willing to stick to their "grocery list" when shopping for a mate. If you want an apple but purchase an onion instead... Who's fault is that?

    • 123chri123 profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Thanks Photography7777 for your commendation.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Wow. Stop watching SATC and join the rest of us in the real world.

    • Photography7777 profile image


      7 years ago from FL

      Fantastic writing. Loved this.


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