ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Getting Over Yourself, Make it About Him Not You

Updated on October 13, 2011
Go out, have dinner with friends.
Go out, have dinner with friends. | Source

Breaking up with someone is one of the most traumatic situations one can get in. It is one of the most feared situations in people’s minds and there is no doubt about that. Now if it happens to someone, what should that particular person do? Should he or she end up messing up their life just for the reason that they were betrayed by worthless persons or should they move on with their lives? You have to keep one thing very clear in your mind, life is beautiful and it gives you a lot of opportunities. But you also have to undergo difficulties and challenges to make your life meaningful.

You don’t get everything you want

This is a fact of life and you have to learn to accept and cope with it. You will not get each and every thing you will ever desire. Sometimes, that particular person is not right for you and instead of crying over your life and wasting your precious time; you will have to move on. The important thing is getting over yourself; make it about him not you. You have to think that you were too good for him or her. If you start pouting and start wallowing in misery and self-pity then you will end up destroying your career, other relationships, and maybe even your life in general.


We should work on our self-consistency theory

Self-consistency is one of the most widely used terms in psychology. This term means that a person is always consistent to his self-picture or image. If your self-image is positive in your eyes then there is literally nothing that can stop you from achieving wondrous things. If you break up with a person whom you thought to be “the one” for you then you have to think that he or she did not deserve you. This is what improving self-consistency is.

Concept of “the one” is really a myth

Those of us who think that they will find “the one” only once in their lives are, perhaps, mistaken. There is no such thing as “the one.” Life will give you a lot of “the ones.” If someone has left you, you should not stop enjoying your life thinking you messed up and lost “the one” for you. If he was “the one,” he would never have left you in the first place. There will be other opportunities. Remember, life is never static. We go through various stages, we grow and develop as persons as we go through life and its variety of experiences and challenges that it throws at us. So don’t fret if “the one” is gone from your life, if you avoid feeling sorry for yourself and open your eyes and mind, I am sure you will come to learn that life is not all about finding and being with “the one.”

If You Are Dumped, it Doesn’t Mean There’s Something Wrong With You

Usually we see that after getting dumped by someone, people take really heavy hits to their ego and self-confidence. This will have a very negative influence on your personality and it will take a lot of time to recover from it. There is no need to feel bad about yourself and you should thank fate for saving you from a potentially bad relationship that could negatively affect your life.

Realize your potential and be grateful to all the positive things in your life - family, career, hobbies and friends. Do not wallow in self-pity and have a negative mindset where all you are able to consider would be the negative facets of your life. You have to stay positive and remind yourself that things aren't as bad as they seem and that they'll certainly get better. Right after a breakup you will find yourself at a low point, but with time you should be able to bounce back and get a lot better.

2011 Moira G Gallaga©

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • moiragallaga profile imageAUTHOR

      Moira Garcia Gallaga 

      6 years ago from Lisbon, Portugal

      Very well said alanlsg, you've captured the main message of my hub in one sentence. Thanks for your comment.

      Thanks shakesbeer, the myth of "the one" could be likened to a search for perfection. A futile search in my opinion as perfection and human beings is a very, very rare combination. :)

    • shakesbeer profile image

      shakesbeer 

      6 years ago from Las Cruces

      I like your point about the myth of the "one." Also liked the guy in the video, although the moderator seemed to be a bit of a dope.

    • alanlsg profile image

      Alan Bowman 

      6 years ago from The World

      Nice one Moiragallaga

      Staying positive and accepting that things do not always work out is the first stage and the next is to look forward and smile and know that good things always come around again

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)