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Getting an Ex to Want You Back

Updated on June 19, 2013
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If you’re still in love with your ex-boyfriend even after he’s decided to end your relationship, you’re probably looking for some clues on how to successfully win him back. The desire to reconnect a lost romance may come under fire by your friends and family if they don’t like seeing you hurt. They probably are encouraging you to just move on, but you can’t deny or hide the way that you feel.

If you have your heart set on getting back together no matter what, don’t pay attention to what your friends are telling you. Getting back together takes a lot of patience and dedication so it’s time to roll up your sleeves and get to work. Having an action plan is one of your biggest advantages. You can learn the techniques suggested by relationship experts and put them to work for you.


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Examine Your Behavior:

A lot of people that find themselves in positions similar to yours wind up making a lot of grave mistakes that can cost them the opportunity to rebuild their relationship that they’re so desperately hoping for. You don’t want to make a bad situation even worse by participating in a lot of negative behavior that will accomplish nothing but to push your ex-boyfriend even farther away from you. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to not succumb to emotions immediately following a breakup.

You know what being a crazy ex entails, and you probably thought that you’d never find yourself in that position. You couldn’t imagine yourself turning into some kind of stalker, haunting your ex’s job or apartment or sending them dozens and dozens of texts within the span of a single hour. When your relationship ended, however, all of these thoughts immediately popped into your mind. You don’t want to give into the urge to act on them. If you do, your ex is going to want to keep their distance from you and cement the breakup even deeper in their thoughts.

You also can’t display your vulnerability openly for your ex-boyfriend to see. Begging for a second chance or promising to change all of your flaws and shortcomings is not going to get you very far, no matter how tempting the idea may be. Guys don’t respond very well to obvious displays of weakness. They want a confident and independent partner – not one that’s rooted in negativity and vulnerable, emotional responses.

You need your ex to see you the way that they used to – a strong, confident, happy and independent woman that has the world at her fingertips. Exert every ounce of your self-control wherever possible, and resist the urge to devolve into negative, unproductive behavior patterns. If you display independence and emotional stability, your ex is far more likely to see you as attractive again. Needless to say, that goes a long way towards relationship rebuilding, and it gets you started on the road to success.

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Don’t Be Afraid to Keep Your Distance:

It’s hard to understand how staying away from your ex-boyfriend could result in him wanting you back, but it works and it’s one of the most common reconciliation tactics available because of its overwhelming effectiveness. Space is a crucial commodity once a relationship ends, and it’s the only proven way to get your ex-boyfriend to miss you again once the relationship has come to an end. If you’re constantly a presence in your ex-boyfriend’s life, there’s no reason for him to miss you at all, and you’re already on a losing side of a game that seems stacked against you.

It’s understandable that distance is a lot easier said than done, especially since you’re mourning the loss of a relationship and all that you want to do is get close to your ex-boyfriend again. The problem is that if you continue to insert yourself into his life, you’re actually harming your future chances – you’re not doing yourself any favors. The way that your ex-boyfriend sees you has to change and the only way to make that change a reality is to start by changing your behaviors and throwing his expectations into question.

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Understand the Male Psyche and Use it positively:

Men get a lot of their sense of ego and accomplishment from the attention they get from women – especially their romantic partners. That’s hardly the secret of the century, but it is an important point to consider. Pursuing your ex feeds into this ego, and it makes them feel desirable and attractive. Your ex-boyfriend probably thinks that they’re the king of the castle right now because they have things right where they want them. They want you to fight the breakup and to beg for a second chance, and they’re actively on the lookout for signs that you’re still broken-hearted over the loss of your relationship.

In order to shake this situation up, you need to catch them by surprise and give them something to worry about. Act as though the breakup didn’t really affect you and you’re looking forward to the single life on your own. This will yank the rug right out from under him and make him start to question his own decision making abilities. He’ll start noticing you a lot more than you may expect, and his interest will certainly be piqued. Eventually, he’ll start kicking himself for letting you go and begin making overtures to try to get you back in his life again for good.

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