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Go First Principle, the Secret to Successful Seduction

Updated on May 15, 2014

Seduction is the art of charming someone by appealing to their senses. Though the word is often seen in negative connotations as sexual behavior is usually the perceived objective of seduction, the process can be used positively to build on relationships too. The 'Go First Principle’ is an important and effective tool that can help you master the art of seduction without going overboard with your efforts. The principle has its roots in the field of hypnosis and works on the premise that you need to be on the same emotional page as your counterpart to extract desired result.

The Go First principle essentially claims that one of the most powerful ways to bring about a certain emotion in a person is to feel that emotion yourself. The emotional energy is often contagious and chances are that the other person will naturally follow your lead without making a conscious effort in that direction. Though it may sound complex, the Go First principle is in reality an integral part of our everyday lives.

Do you prefer the company of spirited, happy-go-lucky people to that of depressed person? Have you ever wondered why? This is primarily because, as humans, we tend to share the emotions of those around us. If emotions are contagious, you’d naturally want to catch happy, positive feelings over negative and depressing ones. Though the concept of Go First principle is omnipresent, there is a perquisite for using it to your advantage – the stronger emotion always prevails. Therefore, your own emotional state should be more over-powering and dominant in comparison to the other person’s for successful implementation of this principle.

Let us try to put the application of this principle in perspective with the help of some examples. Imagine a person goes over to his friend’s to share the news of having found a job. However, there has been a death in that family, and everyone is in a state of mourning. Naturally, the pal of gloom will take over the prevalent sense of elation in this scenario, as the former is a more compelling emotion.

Similarly, let’s assume you are low and sad about something and decide to hang out with a friend to lift your spirits. Your friend, however, is in an unusually jubilant mood and starts to remind you of hilarious incidents from the past. Soon enough, you may find yourself chuckling at those nostalgic memories, having completely forgotten about your depressed state of mind.

Now, let’s apply this concept to the art of seduction. For instance, you take a girl out on a first date. However, you are extremely nervous and your body language is somewhat fidgety. Your best efforts to put her at ease may not yield results and soon, she may start to share your sense of nervousness. Getting off to a bad start on a first date can mean the end of a potentially robust relationship. It is, therefore, important to stay in control of your emotions and let your emotions influence that of the other person to make some progress in the direction of healthy seduction.

This disastrous first date experience could have turned around in your favor just with a bit of positive attitude. If you are calm and relaxed around your date, they will begin relax and feel comfortable around you gradually, even if they are nervous at first. Making small talk with confidence, cracking jokes steering the conversation in an intimate direction by talking about your dreams and feelings will give the other person the confidence to open up to you.

Your own state of mind plays an important role in your success or failure at seducing some. Your efforts at seduction will yield desired results if you stay relaxed, focus on creating a sense of intimacy, make the other person comfortable and invoke confidence.


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      Harry 3 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Interesting ..I have read books like 'The Game' but I don't think it talks about the 'Go First' principle .. you're correct in saying though that one must never go overboard on a first date even if all you want is to get her into bed ... act alpha and a bit aloof despite what you're feeling inside and she'll usually find you an interesting puzzle to solve ..