- Gender and Relationships
Go From Boring Lay to 50 Shades of Foreplay!
Spice it up
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
When I was younger, I found myself always worrying and fixating on trivial stuff that now, seem so unimportant. Even though I weighed a meek 120 pounds, I worried about my weight, or if the guy I was with, noticed the zit on my cheek. I worried about my makeup being perfect, and if my date approved of it...and other silly flaws that didn't really exist.
What I Look For In A Man
What do I look for in a man? Although it’s not complicated, it is something most men do not fulfill. I have discovered many men have little, to no imagination because they get fixated on just one thing…taking care of their own needs.
In my world, there are no boundaries behind closed doors. Not as of yet, anyways. I am a sensual woman, in my mid-forties and I've become comfortable in my skin, with and without attire. Although this has not always been the case.
Bringing Sexy Back
Five Important Key Points
I learned that my concerns were really unimportant for 5 important reasons:
1. - Most men simply do not notice our flaws.
2. - They do not fixate on our flaws like we, as women do.
3. - Men tend to appreciate us simply because we are women, and that is the beauty of the opposite gender.
4. - Men are simple creatures, in that they will tell us what they like and do not like, without any code.
5. - What they say, really is what they mean. Women tend to over-analyze everything needlessly.
Guiding Your Partner
With this knowledge, I have become more comfortable with guiding a man, by showing him exactly what I like, in order to get satisfied. And this is such an important element, in order to become fulfilled in any relationship.
What I like isn't complicated, yet most men are oblivious to my needs. I have noticed most guys just want to be done with themselves. Once they think I've had the big "O", they finish up, and then ask for praise. What they don't realize, is that I need more…much more.
Role Play, Not So Risque'
I am the type of woman who likes to go out of my head into a role playing world. So, standard stuff is inadequate, and terribly unfulfilling.
I have had my share of the “missionary man”. I appreciate a man who isn’t in a hurry, when romancing me. Instead, I prefer one who likes creativity, with an exploratory edge. I like to play dress up, and make an entrance for my man. Just the anticipation of me sauntering into the room, tends to get a man's interest and attention. I like to prepare a man for me, without too much physical work on my part. It is very important to know that intimacy, when done properly, really is 50% physical and 50% mental. One of the key elements of the actual act is to get inside a man’s head, with mental stimulation. The imagination can be such a turn-on for both, the man and the woman.
Bringing Sexy Back
Getting ready for intimacy makes it much more enjoyable for both of us, and once a guy figures this out, then he too appreciates my eye for the finer details.. If I'm lucky, the man will offer to go shopping for fun clothes and such, before our next date!
I like to play out scenarios….fantasy….and full on exploration for him and for me. I hate being in charge, and can’t stand a boy who is unsure of himself. Men need to learn how to “man up” and take the situation by the reigns. No pansies are allowed in my playground.! I'm not talking about going overboard like leather or chains, although I'm not opposed to dressing up in hot clothing. I believe every woman should be a lady in public and a bad girl in the bedroom with her man.
I am a pleaser, and I am searching for the right balance in a man–a bad boy whos really good to only me ’cause I’m a good girl that’s really bad in the bedroom.
Toys Aren't Just For Kids Anymore
One thing I need to say for myself is how the use of toys really does make things better. They help keep me enthusiastic when going about doing the man a “favor”, and second, they actually prepare me physically for the actual act. I figure it’s a win-win situation.
I used to dread the point when a man would look at me with those puppy dog eyes and point down south in a begging hand gesture. Now, I really enjoy it with the assistance of my little friends. It is just so much more fun when I get to feel good too! (What a concept!)
And I have found that once the guy realizes the benefits of my assistant, he becomes more comfortable with the concept. Some guys initially seem intimidated by this idea because they think they're being replaced. Although in reality, they might be on to something, however that’s not my intention.
This Girl's Got It
Having Fun With It
I appreciate and need a man who takes the reins when it comes to our adventurous escapades. I don't want to have to think, or make decisions. When he tells me to tilt my head back, or arch my back a little more…then I oblige…I like to let the man feel like he is in charge and has complete control over me. Although, most women know who is really in charge.
Whoever can find the right balance of mental and physical combination when romancing me, will most definitely get the ride of their life.
In a relationship there should be little boundaries, no rules…except one: don’t hold back.
Other key elements? Make each encounter with your partner an experience, not a quick chore. Be creative and willing to explore all options for a better than satisfactory experience and you’ll find "IT" enjoyable every single time.
© 2013 Helen Kramer