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Goodbye To My Brother and Friend

Updated on July 5, 2010


When the truest part of one soul meets the emptiest recesses in another and finds something passes from one to the other. _Larry Crabb

Darryl Wayne Hester was my best friend especially when his twin (my boyfriend) died. God put people in your life for different reasons. Darryl was my refuge because I wanted to die when we lost his brother. He forgot his own grief to comfort me. He helped me heal because he loved me back to life and I will forever be grateful. Darryl, graduated High School, Pursued a career in the Military, Became a Father, Became a Postal Worker and soon after and until his death a Freelance Photographer. He inspired me to become a Freelance Photographer as well as he inspired me to become my own person, a fighter with the heart of a lion. A strong minded individual whom made no apologies for living a dignified life. A life filled with old school values such as respecting our elders, loving the Lord, love of family, pursuing our dreams and to love freely (mind, body and soul). We shared many things; but the most precious was love. He showed me how to be a friend. Death is a bridge we all must cross and unlike in life....we must cross alone. Many believe death is the final end of us; but I don't. Life is a journey to a better place. A place where peace and happiness never ends. I do find myself wondering once a loved one has passed, if they are okay, because that's the human in me. My Spirit knows the cemetary is not the final resting place. The cemetary is the place to store the body; not the Spirit and I know that all the spirits of each of our loved ones are flying free just as we will all be one day. Some of us call it Heaven. When you experience the death of a loved one, you become immersed into a emotional battle such as phases of depression, denial, tremendous hurt, guilt, anger and eventually acceptance. At this moment...the most prevalent emotion for me being my heart shattered into tiny pieces. My heart goes on....and I wish him peace and the happiness of being reunited with his brother as he entered into our Father's rest.. This is my tribute to a Strong Beautiful Black Man who will be missed dearly. God Bless.

The following video was created last year in the Memory Of Carroll; however, Darryl is featured in it as well. Today it is a Dedication to them both.


God is not the author of confusion. Therefore the pain and despair that accompany the death of a loved one; "This too shall pass." Keeping faith during tough times is challenging; but a must when you walk with God. Just like you, I feel robbed; but we must remember some things cannot be stolen. Nothing can take away our memories. Loss may rip away at our hearts and struggles to steal our soul; but we must remember through God we remain whole. God makes no mistakes. Through the deaths our loved ones we accomplish what would not have otherwise taken place. The loss of their death is like carrying a load because it's lonely, a feeling of abandonment, being left behind. This is when you must rely on the LORD. Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ , the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

We must learn to move on. It's okay to grieve and to miss our loved ones; but we must began our journey of healing.


 Commit thy way unto the  LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Psalms 37:5-7

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsover things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Not that I speak in respect of want: for I haved learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know how to be abased, and I know how to be abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strenghteneth me. But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Phillipians 4:8, 11-13, 19

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

There remaineth therefore a rest to the the people of God. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief. Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.   Hebrews 4:9, 11, 14

For thus saith the Lord of God, the Holy One of Israel; In returning and rest shall ye be saved: in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength: and ye would not. And therefore will the LORD wait, that he may be gracious unto you, and therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you: for the LORD  is a God of judgment blessed are all they that wait for him.    Isaiah 30:15, 18

The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand. The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.



One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why, when I needed you most, you would leave me."

The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

During the difficult times in my life this poem "Footprints" written by Margaret Fishback Powers, provide me with inspiration. It reminds me that I am not alone although I may feel alone. It reminds me that God is quietly carrying me through whatever storm I may be facing. Since, Darryls death I have been awakening from my sleep in the middle of the night afraid and crying; then this calm overtakes me and put me back to sleep. I know this is God comforting me during this hard time and I thank him for his grace and mercy towards me.

Inspirational Quotes

When our relationships are born in the heart of God, they bring out the best in us, for they are nutured by love.     -Don Lessin

Love is the expansion of two natures in such a fashion that each includes the other, each is enriched by the other.     -Felix Adler

For love is but the heart's immortal thirst to be completely known and all forgiven.   - Henry Van Dyke 

Love is not a matter of counting the years-it's making the years count. - Jack Smith Wolfman



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    • SweetMocha-Monroe profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Thank each of you for your kind and encouraging words. God Bless You All.

    • blackreign2012 profile image


      8 years ago

      I am so sorry for your loss... I know you miss them but they are with The Creator now basking in HIS love and looking down on you; protecting you and loving you still... it's hard but I feel that you will make it through.. excellent tribute ~hugs~

    • breakfastpop profile image


      8 years ago

      I am so sorry for your loss.

    • VioletSun profile image


      8 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      I am so sorry to read this! You commented about your fiancee's twin brother in my hub 10 days ago, and how you admired them both. Its difficult to experience someone young pass away, I know because we lost my sister's son. My heart and thoughts are with you. Darryl Wayne Hester lived fully because he loved.

      Your tribute is beautiful!

      Hugs to you~


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