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Guys, Are You Really Listening to Your Girlfriend or Wife?

Updated on July 5, 2016
kenneth avery profile image

Kenneth has been a member of HubPages for five years. He is retired from a 23-year career in the weekly newspaper business.

Source

This photo says it all

I sympathize with women. Not just my wife, but all women. Yes, even those of my following. Girls, you have my never-dying support if you are dating or living with a man who does not listen to you.

I know that you must be frustrated most of the time. Especially if you are (by choice) a stay at home wife or a wife or companion who works from home and you have missed your guy during the day and when he gets home you are ready to talk, but he only gazes at you with that "1000-yard stare," that most military guys inherit.

It's tough. I can speak from personal experience about not listening to my wife. Actually I have learned a lot of things from her that I once gave an "I know," or "you are right," to the topic she was talking about.

Guys not listening is the basis for most fights between couples
Guys not listening is the basis for most fights between couples | Source

In my defense

When my wife has talked to me it has been at night when we are both sitting in our living room--she with her laptop and me with my laptop both of us working on various projects and she would say something about something that interested her and I only heard "some" of what she said. Sound familiar, girls?

I am not trying to make excuses for my lack of listening or other guys' lack of listening, I wish I could nail down for you "the" main reason we guys either do not listen or do not want to listen to you, but sadly, I cannot.

This is how guys look when their companions are talking to them
This is how guys look when their companions are talking to them | Source
Get your man to lay down his cell device before you start any conversation
Get your man to lay down his cell device before you start any conversation | Source
Source
Getting a man's attention and keeping it is the first step in having a good talk with them
Getting a man's attention and keeping it is the first step in having a good talk with them | Source
Girls, doesn't this graphic say it all?
Girls, doesn't this graphic say it all? | Source
Guy reads sports section while wife gets a tan, but she really wants to talk to him
Guy reads sports section while wife gets a tan, but she really wants to talk to him | Source

The rest of this hub

I sincerely dedicated to the girls who are dating a man who "does" listen at this point, but after marriage, he might let her down with his various ways of being preoccupied with things in his life thus leading to problems within the marriage.

My headline is:

Ways For Girls to Know if Their Guy is Listening or Not

  • Looking Past You - - is one tip-off that your man 's mind is on something else, not you. Just stop, keep your cool, and ask him softly, "are you listening to me?" Most times he will answer from being embarrassed and then really hear what you are saying.
  • Repeating Facts, Names - - as you talk to him. You might say, "My girlfriend, Gail, is going to go back to college and earn her Master's," but your man will look at you and ask, "Gail?" He knows Gail. She was your maid of honor. This is his way to head off a fight, so again, keep your cool and address his distraction then and there. Do not let it fester and become a huge fight.
  • Replies in Confusing Terms - - such as the item above, your guy might listen to every other word you say and you can tell that he is doing this if he says, "Hunky Mike? There is no such man as Hunky Mike?" What you really said was, "Gail thinks that Brad Pitt is a hunk of a man."
  • Watching For Distractions - - is your job when trying to communicate with your guy, not his. That is unless he is wanting to talk to you. And he will. If during your dialogue with him, he suddenly says, "Huneee, I need to call my boss for a minute. I forgot to file an important document on his website," then let it slide one time. If this comes up again and believe me, it will. Stop and be cool and say, "you can call you boss later. It is very important to me that you listen to me now." Some guys will stop immediately and really listen, but you have to take the initiative and let him know how you feel.
  • Eyes Straight Ahead - - this one is easy to spot. If you two are at a live sporting event, movie, or just watching television and you suddenly remember something that you think he is interested in and you speak on the topic, but (like my wife) only get half-replies. Do not rage at your man although you are well within your right to do so. Just politely, but firmly say to him, "can you give just one minute of your time?" You will be surprised at how he will stop watching SportsCenter to hear what you say.

Very interesting video for men and women

Girls, I have to be fair

I do not want to go to bed knowing that my male followers even thought that I was singling them out in the non-listening area of their relationship with you. I have to look at both sides of the issue.

Girls, and I mean this with all due respect, when your boyfriend or husband finds it necessary to talk to you, then you remember the things I said to the men in the above ways to know if he is not listening to you. Your husband is not all that ignorant. He will also know if you are not listening. So be as careful and respectful to him although what he is talking about does not interest you in the least.

Even if your man offers a verbal response, most times it has nothing to do with the subject you have been talking about
Even if your man offers a verbal response, most times it has nothing to do with the subject you have been talking about | Source

© 2016 Kenneth Avery

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