Healing before Dating
In my own experiences and from others, which I know through different sources, I agree in the fact that healing before dating is necessary. Healing from any kind of hurt that has given birth to feelings of sorrow, deception, anger, sadness, or distrust that could come from: divorce, separation, loss, death, and many other situations.
Why should healing be before dating? Because the relationship will be built on other circumstances than the true reason in which two people should be dating. The result of dating could take any path and end up in: friendship, mates, or that each just walk away in different directions. If a person has not healed from some hurt the hurting situation will hide, rising secretly... clouding the process which should have occurred in the dating. Perhaps something wonderful that could have come from the dating turns out into an unpleasant activity.
Knowing each otherClick thumbnail to view full-size
Activities before dating
Which activities are favorable in dating? Dating is an act, where the interest is to know each other perhaps ending as couple. I will recommend some activities that allow to have eyes wide open, since quite a bit of what the real person is can be shown.
- Playing games
- Hiking or walks
- Visits to a zoo
- Selecting movies
- Visits to galleries
- Hearing music
- Eating in different places
How much time do you need to heal?
The time of healing is really unpredictable. I think it is a matter of individuality of both involved in the dating, and as the real reason of dating. Many hurt people think they could use dating to heal. That is a selfish and irresponsible decision bringing unholy feelings, besides that the person dated deserves human respect.
"Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can’t prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you’re presented with and moving on. No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something. You always have a choice and the choice can be power" (Blaine Lee) . I like that quote because I know from where that power comes; it is in The Bible in the book of 2 Timothy verse 1 chapter 2:
"for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."
Nobody should be alone unless loneliness is a fulfillment of an individual enjoyment . Genesis 2:18 says:
"Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."
Traces of healing
It is good to have a person near Proverbs 18:20 says "He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the LORD."
How can a hurt person know healing has occurred?
- Able to speak about own feelings.
- Lead a life of integrity.
- Honesty and sincerity are part of relations with others.
- Appreciation and gratitude is shown for recognizing blessings.
- Enjoyment for sharing love, compassion and affection is shown.
- Self care is part of reaching a mental and physical strength.
- Patiences is part of daily routine.
- Ability in taking care of themselves and those around.
- Know their purpose in life.
- Have forgiven themselves as well as others.
- Believe in the power of . praying
To be with someone else other than yourself, love is needed. The only third that ought to be allowed in between is God. Love is like an oil lamp. An oil lamp is used to produce light continuously for a period of time using an oil-based fuel source.
"The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him." (1 John 2:10)
1 John 4:7 says "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God ; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God."
"Until death do us part " is the phrase that wedding vows contain coming from a biblical principal. Romans 7:2 says: "For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage."
Love will set us free Galatians 5:13 says "For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."
Blessings to all as we heal!
© Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill
© 2012 Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill