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Being Married and Staying Happy!

Updated on July 9, 2013
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Marriage Takes Hard Work

It's been twenty two years and I am still married. That within itself is an accomplishment. When I married all those Years ago I married blind in the since that I did not even really know how to be married. I did not do premarital counseling as I highly recommend and I married after only dating for a few months. I think that most can agree that once you cross that dating line and get married that things seem to change fast. To the unmarried please do not allow me to scare you because things may change some but the love is still there.

How Have We Managed To Stay Happily Married For All These Years

Does he ever work my nerves? There are days when I just don't want to be around him. There are things that I do not like about him and I am sure that works both ways but we have learned how to live with each other without killing each other. :) Marriage takes compromise and communication even when you are mad at each other. Being upset at one another does not give each other the right to pretend as if the other does not exist. Here are a few things that I believe are the key to being happily married.

Faithful and Honesty

I am really open about my life. I've said this a few times to people. Two people in a marriage really can be faithful. I can proudly and honestly say that in all these years I have remained faithful to my husband. I have never cheated on him and I won't. I just don't see the point. What will it accomplish? In my eyes nothing. I can cheat and prove that I am a cheater or I can remain faithful and prove that I can be honest. I am glad that when I married all those years ago I made that decision and so far I have stayed true to that.

When my husband ask me questions, I give him an honesty answer. I see women that lie about money spent and every thing else and I refuse to work as hard as I do for my money and then feel I should have to lie to spend it. There is a simple solution. If I feel I want a new dress, I wait until the bills are paid and then I tell him that I am going to buy me a new dress.

Communication

Life is so short! What if you got mad at your spouse today, decided that you would stop speaking to him or her for a couple of days and then your spouse suddenly passed away? What a horrible last message to send to someone that you are supposed to love. If you love that person you should be able to sit down and let them know when there is a problem.

Talking and not arguing is a plus. One thing I can say about me is that if ever there was a time that my husband wanted to argue, he was by himself because I am above that. I just do not see the point. Have I ever argued with him? I would be fibbing if I said I haven't. It;s been a very long time and I really do not like arguing in front of my children. I would rather walk away from the argument until things cool down and we can talk about it.

Understanding

Being understanding is a key component in a marriage. There are times when a spouse does not act the way the other feels that he or she should be acting. Have you ever sat and thought about why the other may have acted out in the way they did. There may be a reason. This is where communication comes in. Have you ever sat down and talked a problem out with your significant other only to realize that they were thinking totally different from you. We must understand that two people are just different sometimes in thinking.

Quality Time

We all have to work but being in a relationship is work. Are you someone that is too tired from working to spend quality time with your spouse? You must take the time to spend quality time with your spouse that is if you want your marriage. If you have kids, it is vital to get a sitter and just the two of you get away even if it is just for a few hours. Plan a lunch date while the kids are at school. My husband and I do this all the time. This is a great time to talk about things that are bothering you.

Affectionate

Everyone needs affection. I feel that a married couple should not go a day without giving one another a hug and telling each other that you love them. Different people show affection in many ways. Your way might not be my way but if a person lacks affection in a relationship, they may be driven to find it else where. In a marriage two people should know what each other wants. If you do not know then simply ask. Being in a relationship is not a time to be shy because marriage is for a life time. I will not be married and miserable. If we can not learn what makes each other smile at the end of the day, then I would rather be alone.

Forgiving

When the two of you have a huge disagreement, how long do you stay mad at each other? Unforgiveness is like a sore that won't heal. It eats away at your soul like decaying flesh. It hurts and the pain just seems to grow and grow. If you can not get pass this, your marriage won't last. Sometimes it takes outside help from others like a minister or a marriage counselor but it can work if two people are willing. I've been there where it seemed impossible but nothing is.

Is there ever a time when a person has done everything they could and a marriage still failed? We all know the answer to that question. I truly believe that sometimes two people are just not meant to be together. However if you are in what you feel is a bad marriage and you want out, make sure that your marriage isn't redeemable because sometimes it is. Instead of divorcing so soon, you may want to seperate for a while, then see if you still want out.

Marriage is in deed hard work but if you want yours to last, then you will put your marriage on your daily to do list. Do everything you can to keep your family together and to be happy.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 3 years ago

      I believe the number one cause for divorce is and always has been (selecting the wrong mate) for one's self.

      There is no amount of "work" or "communication" that can overcome being with someone who does not want you want for the marriage.

      The "hard work" is finding the "right mate" for yourself. If one can accomplish that then the so called (work) is actually a "labor of love."

      Imagine a childless couple is finally able to have a baby. They now have to get up at all times of the night for feedings and diaper changes, A woman plants a garden in her back yard and now has to pull weeds, water, and keep pests away, a child is given a puppy she begged for and now has to feed him, walk him, remove his waste, and bathe him....etc Yes we could call all of these actions "work".

      However I think one is only being responsible by taking care of or "nurturing" what (they) wanted! It's a little disingenious to put work/maintenance for things (we want) in the same cateogory as having to work a job to pay our bills. No one has to get married, have a baby, or own a dog. Work that you (choose) to do is always "a labor of love". One man's opinion! :-)

    • VictoriaSheffield profile image
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      Author Victoria Sheffield 3 years ago from Georgia

      So true! Thanks for commenting!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      Really great hub here! I have been married going on 35 years, and you have given important insight and advice in keeping the marriage happy.

      Voted up ++++ and sharing

      God bless, Faith Reaper

    • VictoriaSheffield profile image
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      Author Victoria Sheffield 3 years ago from Georgia

      Thanks for commenting! God bless you!

    • Indian Chef profile image

      Indian Chef 3 years ago from New Delhi India

      Very Good Hub

    • VictoriaSheffield profile image
      Author

      Author Victoria Sheffield 3 years ago from Georgia

      Thanks so much!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Being Married and Staying Happy! Sometimes it is difficult to stay happy if problems can be worked out there shouldn't be a reason not to stay happy as you have explained all reasons in this informative hub.

    • VictoriaSheffield profile image
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      Author Victoria Sheffield 3 years ago from Georgia

      Thanks so much for commenting!

    • VictoriaSheffield profile image
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      Author Victoria Sheffield 3 years ago from Georgia

      Thanks so much for commenting!

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