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His Best Friend Is Your Ex

Updated on October 11, 2009

Would You Be Honest?


   If you entered into a new relationship and it’s been at least six months, would you tell your boyfriend that his best friend or a relative is your ex?  You both lied when you were introduced pretending not to know one another to prevent future problems but being around each other is bringing back memories of the past you two shared whether good or bad, could you be honest with the new person in your life and would it make a difference?  While some would think that it’s no big deal because it’s just the past of course you’d tell, you’d all would be surprised to know that during a survey 85% of men and women stated that in those kinds of situations being honest created the problem. It’s actually really easy to see how being open about the subject could create drama in relationships.

   If your boyfriend or husband is like any other man it would create jealousy along with trust issues to know that two of the most important people in his life were previously in each other’s life.  Imagine having to think of the two of you kissing, touching, having sex, saying I love you, just having that closeness that the two of you now share.  Would you want to be in the man’s shoes knowing that your friend or relative had him in every way? Could you still look at him the same?  A man might look at your honesty in a different way even while making it seem that everything is okay because it’s just the past when inside it would definitely be killing him especially when the both of you are around at the same exact time.

   Many relationships have failed because one was not honest in this type of situation; it’s hard to always know the right things to do in a relationship so people just tend to go with everything hoping that the little problems will work themselves out.  I for one couldn’t look at my best friend and boyfriend the same way if I knew they had a past together.  My reasons would not include fear, being content in my relationship I would know that there is no way he would want to rekindle something with her,  but I wouldn’t know that deep in her heart there isn’t something she would want to rekindle. 

   For women if you’ve been in a good relationship that ended suddenly, then that person whom you think of as the one who got away appears back in your life now in a relationship with your best friend or relative you’re bound to show some sort of feelings or try to act on it even if it hurts someone close to you because you are just thinking about healing your own heart.  I don’t know if it works the same way for men but I’m guessing so.  You’d sit around seeing how happy they are together, start thinking back on how you were like that along with the problem that caused your breakup. Even if you have no previous feelings for your ex it would cause confusion.  Which route would you take to tell or not to tell?


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