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Hello Ladies

Updated on June 3, 2010

Hello Ladies

Does anyone seem to notice that we as women seem to have lost our way? Instead of saving ourselves for marriage, we are just giving up then expecting a man to respect us. Before you get all riled up I'm speaking for personal experience.
It seems that we as women are losing our value in this life. Instead of putting our foot down and saying "No I'm worth it" we are just having premarital sex, living with a guy for years and having children out of wedlock.
We have convinced ourselves that we need some guy, but we really need are real MEN. We have bought into this idea that sex is everything and you can't know a guy until you sleep with him. And we wonder why the divorce rate is over 50%. I speculate if we did some kind of survey and asked: Did you live together first?, Did you have sex before marriage?, Did you have a child out of wedlock? I can almost assure you that most of divorces occur when these factors are in play. I'm not saying if you have premarital sex you are doomed I'm proof that that's not true. I'm simply saying if we respect and love ourselves first "that guy" will become "THE ONE" that will love and respect you too.
I personally did some of these things I knew having sex before marriage was wrong, but I bought into the bull of the world that said "it's okay", I can only blame myself, but sex being everywhere didn't help. Then, I got pregnant and that's when all heck broke loose. We moved in together constantly asking the same questions "Where is relationship going?" "Does he love me for me or because I'm having his baby?" "Will he ever marry me?" And with all the fighting, yelling, feeling guilt for committing sin and not knowing how I/WE were going to make it, my sins caused me morepain then I'll ever be willing to admit, (to anyone, but God) but then after much soul searching and praying. We had our son and got married. Now we live a more devout life and try to tell other people our story. But I was blessed I realized I was wrong sought God and through Jesus Christ started living a better Christian lifestyle, but I know there are women out there who have similar stories. You're living with a guy and he won't commit, but who would rather settle for that then be alone. Remember this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE! GOD IS WITH YOU AND WILL SEE YOU THROUGH ANYTHING WHEN YOU SEEK HIM FIRST.



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    • spiderpam profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from USA

      @ Guardian1- There is a double standard that can be overcome if we raise our own standards and don't settle. Thanks for your comment.

      @ gspot- Thanks for commenting

      @ Born Again 05- We have similiar experiences in life and love, but through God we have been made stronger. Thanks

    • Born Again 05 profile image

      Born Again 05 

      9 years ago from Honesdale

      You are so right Spiderpam. I tried doing it the right way...getting married, had four kids by my husband. He cheated anyway; not once but several times. After we split I settled for just living with someone. And then Jesus came into my life. I am now by myself and grateful for the peace I have.

    • gspot911 profile image


      9 years ago from Austin,TX

      great hub! from my personal experiences i feel ive been done wrong by females. ive dealt the game playing, the lies and the arguing. so now i do not go around looking for mrs. wifey. dont get me wrong i meet girls and we have sex but i usually tell them its nothing more than that because i dont want to go through all the drama. but going through all that i have been through has made me analyze who and what i want in a wifey so i know now exactly what i want. if i meet a girl and they do not meet those standards then they will be nothing more than friends. but i will still have sex before marriage because i dont wanna feel like im passing life by. so i keep my life exciting while i wait for wifey lol!

    • Guardian1 profile image


      9 years ago

      You're right, but sometimes waiting for Mr. Right takes so long that the woman starts to feel like she's missing out on her personal satifaction. Often times once Mr. Right finally comes along, he hasn't been saving himself. It's a double standard.


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