- Gender and Relationships
Honesty is the best policy, am I right?
"He is not into you"
Those five little words that are just too hard to mouth: "He is not into you". Yet, the exact same five words that could potentially save her from a heartbreak weeks, months - maybe even years down the line.
When our girlfriends come to us and say how they've met this guy but he's not replying, or can't see her, or isn't ready for commitment what is it we say?
"I'm sure he's just saying that"
"How can he not like you, you're amazing"
"Don't be silly, of course he likes you!"
"He's probably had a bad relationship and doesn't want to rush into things"
Why do we say this when we know that they're lies? Is lying to prevent heartbreak now, worse than telling the truth to prevent heartbreak later? Or is it that we don't want to be the reason for the heartbreak because it is easier to comfort someone when they're upset with someone else?
In all honesty, I am as guilty as the other convicts lying to their friends. Maybe it's because I want to believe he isn't going to hurt her. Maybe it's because I like to think the best out of these situations. Or maybe it's because I would rather live in a prison of thoughts than be executed for sharing the truth.
How many of us can actually say that we would say to our friends:
"He doesn't like you"
"It's obvious that you're wasting your time"
"Move onto someone else - someone more your own league"
If you can honestly say that you do, then I salute you. Please teach me some of that bravery.
Six signs he's not into you..
How many times have we seen self-help pages like that?
How many of them are written by psychologists or "relationship experts"?
I digress, but how can you be a relationship expert? No two relationships are the same.
Anyway, all of these pages sitting there waiting to read by the girls sat at home, crying into their Ben and Jerry's while watching chick flicks and their own friend can't tell them the truth.
You know why? Because it is easier for someone who doesn't know you, and has no attachment to your feelings, to say: "He doesn't like you and i'm going to prove how he doesn't like you in six steps"