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How A Woman Gets A Guy To Respect Her On A Date

Updated on March 22, 2013

Before any woman goes out on a first date with a guy, she should first understand that this date is not a potential husband. He is just an acqaintance who has the potential of becoming either two things... A friend or a fling in the beginning. Do not jump to conclusions and decide that he is your one and only on your first date, because a fling man will take advantage of your emotions and he will lead you astray and end up having sex with you. Now if that is all you want then I guess you should go for it, but for those women out there who still believe that a man should respect her and work for her goodness, she's the one who will possibly go home after a date knowing that she has met a potential future husband.

Be polite and kind, this is a start with earning a guys respect, but please don't be so polite that you bore him to death. Some guys like a woman who knows how to let her hair down and unwind. Don't be the type of woman who thinks just ordering a salad and lemon water is going to make this man think that you're special. If you want to go up again to the buffet and get a second or third plate of food, do it. Being yourself is always a winner.

Promote "friendship only" while you're out with a guy that you are not all that into. However, promote "friendship first" if he is someone that you might have a connection with. Friendship first gives you a chance to get to know each other and learn about what you have in common. Having fun together, going to art shows, basketball games or any other common interest you share together is bonding. Having sex on the first date is just releasing sexual tensions and it doesn't make a man fall in love with a woman, although some men might think that they might be in love until later when they see another woman they are attracted to and they drop you like a hot potato to go after her, while you were convinced that he was crazy about you.

If a man tells you after a date that he's going to call you, tell him when it is a good time for him to call you and make sure you get his phone number too. This way it is an even exchange and it takes the guess work about when he's going to call you away...because you have the power and invitation to call him as well. If he does not call you the next day, remember that he has a life to live just like you do and he can't stop it to call you. But on the flip side, Just know that a guy who is impressed and intrigued by you will definitely not have you waiting around for his call, he will call you right away to set up another date with you and he is eager and can't wait.

While you are on this date, refrain from becoming intoxicated or rambunctious because this is a turn off to a guy looking for a confident, self controlled and independent woman who he would be thrilled to show off to his family and friends in the future. What man wants to introduce a drunken lush to his family and friends? The only thing that could come of this kind of behavior is a booty call or date rape. Talking about sex or being promiscious is a no no if you want this man to take you serious and respect you.

If you keep bringing up your ex-husband or boyfriend a new guy will realize that you are still having some un-resolved feelings for your ex and he will not be able to see the big picture where he could be the love of your life in the future. Don't be surprised if you never hear from him again. And don't cry to your friends that you don't know what happened and why he did not call you back, following up with saying, "It's his loss."

Set your phone to voicemail. I can understand that some women might have children and need to keep the phone open in cases of emergencies, you just have to explain this to your date, but before your date make sure your babysitter or children know that they can't call you unless they really need you for some emergency.

Don't flirt or talk about how cute the waiter looks to your date. If you feel the need to put lipstick on or brush your hair, go to the ladies room because the last thing your date wants to see is you grooming yourself while you're sitting in a restaurant. A heated topic comes up, he's a democrat and you're republican... quickly change the subject to something else until you get to develop some common ground and respect for each other.

Don't be a yes girl to everything. If he asks you do you like reggae and you know you hate it, you are going to be sitting in his car listening to a reggae radio station. Let him know that it is not the type of music you enjoy, let him know that you like classical, honesty has to be established.

Do not make up stories that is not true just to impress him. He might be able to read you and pick up that you are a liar. He might not judge you because you live in a one bedroom flat in the bad side of town, so please don't tell him you own a mansion in Bel-Aire.

When talking about your friends and relatives, try to speak about their positives opposed to the negative because your friends and relatives are not there to defend themselves. Perhaps your brother is a lazy bum, but do you have to tell your date that he is, right now? Speaking negatively about others will paint a bad portrait of yourself and your date will think that you have no resepct for others and therefore you may not ever respect him.

Never ask a man how much money he makes. It is none of your business, so when he feels like he wants to share that information with you in the future... respect it. And whatever you do don't tell him how much money you make, nor tell him that you need money to pay your electric bill this month and that you need a loan. Your financial woes or riches should remain a mystery until you two become serious and trust one another.

Sometimes a woman who has been abused is quick to get solace from someone and it is understandable if she has no one else to turn to, but if your date is a trained proffesional in this matter and he is willing to sit and listen, that is your call if you want him to know this about your life in the very beginning. I think it is better to introduce your self worth and spirit to someone in the beginning, not your pain. Maybe later you can open up about these things but not at first sight.

So your date is a garbage collector who only finished high school and you are a Yale graduate. Why do you feel the need to ask him does he ever plan on continuing his education? Surprisingly, He tells you no, that he is satisfied with where he is in life and you scoff at him. You can guarantee that this gentleman will not call you again and maybe with your snooty attitude it is best he does not, although some men like bitchy women, he might call.

Everyone dances to their own tune, and it is best to be yourself. You have a personality that is unlike anyone elses and it will attract the right person into your life.


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    • Affinity2010 profile image

      Leslie Trotter 4 years ago from New Orleans, La

      Yes, I know many women who talks about their ex's on a first date and they wonder why the guy never calls back.

    • bizna profile image

      JUDITH OKECH 4 years ago from NAIROBI - KENYA

      You are very right, being oneself is the best thing to do on a first date. What pisses guys off most is talking about your ex or kids. If you do that, you can rest assured that's the end of you seeing him. Very informative hub.