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How Can You Tell if a Guy Really Loves You?

Updated on March 11, 2011

Does He Love Me - How Can I Tell?

I'm sure by now in your search for answers this article has not been the first you've stumbled upon. The internet is full of information on what 'signs' to look for to tell if "he's into me." I'm not here to tell you what position of his hand you should be looking for or to look to see if he mimics your movements. No, if you're asking the above question, it means by now you are past the courting phase and are already aware that you each find some sort of attraction within each other. Most of the physical signs of 'love' you will find on the internet are signs of attraction not love.

You're asking this question because, more than likely, 1) you are in some sort of limbo in your current relationship and don't feel there is any forward movement or 2) you are looking for reassurance that your current man is, in fact, as in love with you as you feel he is, and that you aren't blinding yourself to some obvious fault. Both are very good reasons for doing your homework.

Here's are a few things to note about guys in love:

1. Men will stay in a relationship and love a woman, but not be 'in love' with a woman. There have been many times I have talked to a guy who wants out of a relationship but claim they love the woman that they are trying to leave. Huh? ... Here's the thing, there are different levels of love. More than likely this type of 'love' is that kind one would use with regard to a dear friend, of whom they share a lot of enjoyable memories and happiness with, but that special 'spark' is not there.

In this situation, you probably are asking yourself, "but if he enjoys spending time with this woman and tells her he loves her, why is he not 'in love' with her?" All I can say is, you can't pick the person you fall in love with. It just sort of ...happens. Girls, have you ever been pursued by a good friend you cared deeply about but could just never see yourself settling down with him? You just don't see him that way. Men find themselves in the same predicament, but are more likely to enter into sexual relationships with this type of friend than say a woman would... pig factor, yes, but also it's in their nature. Hunter's and gatherers, spread the seed and whatnot - BUT ethically questionable - absolutely.

2.When a man falls in love, he is 100% sure he's in love with her. If he's yo-yoing between two women, he hasn't found the one ...yet. Men do like relationships. They love the nurturing element a woman brings to the table and they also like the camaraderie and security that a relationship brings to them. If you have to ask him if he loves you, more than likely, he hasn't felt that bolt of lightening smash into his heart.

3. When a man is in love he falls fast and he falls hard. They know when a girl is the one. Their stomach turns in knots when he think about her and his future with her.

4. The thought of losing her gives him a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. He will go to great lengths to keep her around. Yes, regular everyday arguments are still normal in this situation, but he can't picture his life without that special woman.

5. HE TELLS YOU! This is the most important point of them all. Your man will tell you he loves you, but I'm not saying as a response to your having said, "I love you" or that time he said it when he was 'in the moment.' No, I mean he will most likely tell you while embracing you or looking you in the eye so that you are aware of his sincerity, even if it's a soft whisper. Men don't play games when it comes to love - it's serious business. Their heart is on the line and they are suddenly vulnerable. If he does this and you feel the same for him- WHOA - Romeo and Juliet move aside!

6. He will open up his life to you. Let's face it, men think they are real suave when it comes to asking you a question but their not as tactful about it as we are. He will let it slip that he pictures his future with you and may even mention your future children in passing. You'll also find that your once afraid of having children boyfriend is now saying maybe.

7. He will include you in his man-hobbies. Some men do this from the get-go, but if you're with a man who suddenly includes you in a world where his guy friends look surprised to see you there, he's bringing you into his 'me time' and he's wanting to know if you accept this as a part of his life. (Note: If you see the same astonished look from his parents when you meet them then... he doesn't bring girls home all that often.)

Hopefully, you are one of the few just trying to reaffirm that the current man in your life loves you, but if you're not sure, then either he just yet hasn't made up his mind about you or he's stringing you along for security. If the later is true, know right here, right now that THIS current guy is not the last guy in your life. Follow your gut and if you feel that he's not as invested in you as he should be, then he's not. You deserve the kind of love that you are sure about and deserve to be treated as you've always dreamed. There is no rush for marriage. Don't get married with doubts or if he's not willing to open up to you about certain things (this does not mean that you are entitled to riffle through his stuff!). Bottom line: if your guys in love, 99.9% of the time, he will let you know.


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      gel 3 years ago

      I am wndering if my friend love me more than like a friend..He says he loves me no matter what...I really don't know if he is sincere or just kidding....

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      shirley 3 years ago

      How are you doing. Can be.happy

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      Ami 4 years ago

      It is true. And whoever has written it I cn understand and feel his or her feeling. Really romantic and also give some pain