How Christians Fall in Love: True Courtship

There are…things that amaze me…things that I don’t understand: how… a man loves a woman.

^{(Proverbs 30:18-19 NLT)}

Introduction:

Courtship is a recent phenomenon. It was not only until decades ago (and yet, just some years ago in other places) that young people started expressing their choices for the love of their lives. Recent as it may seem, the Christian love life is still governed by the manifold wisdom of God through His Word.

Dating is not a game. Its purpose leads to marriage vows. This is why men don’t court, and ladies don’t allow to be courted by those whom they have no intention of marrying. The idea of courtship is to get to know the other person well; with the premise that ‘you think’ he or she is the one.

If you play this game now that you’re not married, what guarantee will you have that you won’t play this game anymore once you’re married? (The truth is it will be much easier to play that game by then, since you’re no longer inhibited, you know the moves, and you know just what to do - so you’d better stop now. If you can’t, then you need help.) ^[1]

Proud Love

The courtship process in itself is open and public; lovers do not keep their agreement a secret. ^[2] If you can’t be proud of what you’re doing, or with whom you are dating, then there is a problem. Why are you dating in the first place? What’s the real intention?

Have a job.

In the book of Beginnings, God laid out the proper order of things. He created the garden, and then, He created man. The Garden of Eden was for Adam’s work and responsibility.^[3] The Lord first prepared Adam’s job even before he knew he would need one. This is also the perfect sequence for having a spouse: Work, first; love-life, second.

King Solomon, the wisest and richest in his time, also emphasized this:

Finish your outdoor work and get your fields ready; after that, build your house. ^{(Proverbs 24:27 NIV)}

Lovers from past generations are laughing at us right now, because we have boys courting girls using their mother’s money. The sad sequence is this: If a man uses his parents ‘money to woo a girl, he’ll just continue using his parents’ resources to sustain his new family - a sequel of heartaches, one after the other.

Passionate believers go head over heels after they have secured the safety net of a paying-job, and the proper mentality of courtship. It’s a heartfelt love for the right reasons.

^Verses:

^{[1] Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. (John 8:34 NIV)}

^{So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. (John 8:36 NIV)}

^{[2] Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. (2 Corinthians 4:2 NIV)}

^{[3] This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created. When the LORD God made the earth and the heavens - and no shrub of the field had yet appeared on the earth and no plant of the field had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no man to work the ground (Genesis 2:4-5 NIV)}

^{Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. (Genesis 2:8 NIV)}

^{The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. (Genesis 2:15 NIV)}