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How Do I Deal With a Selfish Boyfriend?

Updated on November 9, 2019
Karen Whitefield profile image

Karen Whitefield loves to read, write and nap. Find her at true marriage stories [dot com].

1. Diagnose The Problem

Sometimes, us women can judge too harshly. If your man is stressed out or perhaps is going through something at work, you may assume that he is not giving you attention because he is selfish. Avoid jumping to conclusions. The first step is to observe him and see if this is something that he has been doing because of some other issues or is he really mean to you. Take stock of the situation and then make your decision.

Avoid jumping to conclusions. The first step is to observe him and see if this is something that he has been doing because of some other issues or is he really mean to you. Take stock of the situation and then make your decision.

Is Your Partner Selfish?

2. Talk To Him Patiently

If you think some of your needs are not being met the way they should in in a relationship then it's time to have a talk with your significant other. When you are having a talk with your partner it's very important that both of you are respectful of each other. Tell him specifically what you find unacceptable and ask him to listen to you. Don't make accusations like "you don't love me anymore" or "you hate me", instead tell them whatever the matter it. For instance: I've observed you don't weekends with me anymore and instead go out with your friends or whatever it is that's bothering you.

Tell him specifically what you find unacceptable and ask him to listen to you. Don't make accusations like "you don't love me anymore" or "you hate me", instead tell them whatever the matter it. For instance: I've observed you don't weekends with me anymore and instead go out with your friends or whatever it is that's bothering you.

Are You In A Selfish Relationship?

3. Insist That You Be Listened To Patiently

If you have a partner who is selfish, it's possible that when you start talking to him, he may not be that accepting of your views. Which is why it's important to tell him that you need to be heard respectfully. It's only when you communicate to each other in the coolest way possible that you'd be able to solve any issues. If he agrees to listen to you, make sure that you make your points firmly and if he denies something, provide evidence to support what you said.

It's only when you communicate to each other in the coolest way possible that you'd be able to solve any issues. If he agrees to listen to you, make sure that you make your points firmly and if he denies something, provide evidence to support what you said.

4. Observe His Response

Once you have told him what you needed to, observe how he reacts to your concerns. Is his natural response to what you say defensiveness? In that case, you can be sure that he is definitely guilty of selfish behavior. I am not saying that he is going to accept his mistakes immediately, but at the least he should not jump to defend himself he is is guilty. If he isn't ready to hear you out and mend his ways, then this relationship may not be worth all the pain. Selfishness can rarely be cured.

I am not saying that he is going to accept his mistakes immediately, but at the least he should not jump to defend himself he is is guilty. If he isn't ready to hear you out and mend his ways, then this relationship may not be worth all the pain. Selfishness can rarely be cured.

6. Be Reasonable

After you have done everything you could and you still don't have any positive response from him, ask yourself if you are being reasonable. It's true that you maybe right but there is always a possibility that you may not be. This is not an exact science and the only way to find out is to sit down and talk about and diagnose it. If you think that there is nothing in your relationship that's working out, then it maybe time to pull the plug.

This is not an exact science and the only way to find out is to sit down and talk about and diagnose it. If you think that there is nothing in your relationship that's working out, then it maybe time to pull the plug.

Comments

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      4 months ago from Chicago

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      The choice is up to us! Suffering is optional.

      Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.

      The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.

      If you have to "teach someone" to be kind, considerate, respectful, loving, and faithful you're probably with the WRONG person!

      One of the biggest differences between men and women is men rarely (take on projects) when it comes to choosing a mate or staying in a relationship. Human beings make mistakes including choosing the {wrong boyfriend/girlfriend} or spouse.

      Forgive yourself and move on.

      The worst thing you can do is to expect someone to become who they are not (just for you). This usually leads to frustration.

      Generally speaking people don't "change" unless (they) are unhappy. Most people want to be accepted for who (they) are.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

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