- Gender and Relationships
How Martin Got To be Absolutely Alone
In His Room
Martin is sitting on the bed. It is not his bed. It is the bed of the furnished room he now lives in. This is because there was no one who would take him in. Not a brother or sister, mother or father, not even a friend.
He had never thought this would happen to him. The impact was just beginning to fill his mind.
He had gone day to day, hour to hour, and somehow he was here, with little idea how.
A year ago he had a life. He lived in his own house with his wife and daughter. He had his own company and a number of friends. He was even still speaking to his sister, the last thread of family Martin had owned.
Today he had no life.
His house had been given to his wife. He was restricted from seeing her or their daughter. He still had his own company, but as his wife would get 50% plus the alimony and child support ordered by the Court, he decided to let it go.
It was stupid because half of anything is more than all of nothing, but at the time he was so angry he didn't think.
Nor had he appreciated that all his friends were actually Deja's friends. Hence none of them were his friends. None of these people he had trusted and relied on would give him space in their house.
And when it came to family...
Martin sat on the bed, feeling very old at forty. Very old and lost and stupid.
And there was no one he could turn to.
That was what he pondered.
How did it happen?
He and his brother, Paul, were
born just over a year apart.
The had lived with their
grandmother, resenting their
parents who had divorced.
For a short time he and Paul
resided with their father's new
family, but preferred their
There was no logical reason to want to live with someone, their grandmother to be precise, who took very little interest in their education or lives, but had them as appendages.
They had thought to 'punish' their father by denying themselves is largess.
Not an unusual reaction, and one easily discerned if their grandmother paid them much attention. But she hadn't, never had, although they pretended she did.
At eighteen, not interested in school or anything much, Martin moved into the house his Grandmother had bought for her 'retirement'.
Fortunately for him, his Step-Grandfather had no intention of relocating. As Grandma was more interested in her husband than her grandchildren the house became free for he and Paul.
Paul married, moved away and Martin, needing cash, rented out the two extra bedrooms.
Paul doing well, invested in improvements on the house, assuming that he would share in the profits at some point.
Martin went through a few tenants before he met Deja. She was going to college
and needed a room. He rented her the master bedroom with its own bathroom,
and moved into the small side of the house.
In a short time he was in love with Deja and they married.
Neither his father nor brother were not at the wedding. This is because Deja had him buy the house behind Paul's back, paying him nothing for the improvements he had made.
This is because Deja had turned him against his father, and they were no longer speaking.
Deja's mother, father, sister, cousin and uncle were at the small wedding.
Martin's mother, Grandmother and an Aunt made up 'his' side.
His sister, Anita, was unable to come as Deja had wanted a wedding on a Caribbean island and Anita did not have the money to spend on two days in an all-inclusive resort.
On return to their house, (for Deja's name was on the Title) she began to fill it with her friends. The husbands of her friends became Martin's friends. She also encouraged Martin to open his own business (she would be his partner).
This would keep him occupied for the hours she was at work.
Martin's business was fairly successful. Deja really didn't have to work, she wanted
to work. She worked until her eighth month of pregnancy then went into the hospital
for a Caesarian. She returned to work after two months, hiring a nanny.
For about two years this was Martin's life; get up, go to work, come home, look after
the baby until Deja came home.
When Winona was three Martin would take her to play school, pick her up from
play school, and work during the hours she was at play school.
The Path to Alone
Deja periodically invited her mother to spend a month with them. After the fourth time, Martin wanted to have his mother spend a month.
Deja made certain this was a non-starter on first invitation. She didn't want Martin to have any contacts outside of her 'set'. However, when it became inescapable that Martin was going to invite his mother, Deja insured a very uncomfortable time so she would not be coming back.
It was not difficult to make Martin's mother feel uncomfortable, unwanted. And to leave the house in more of an escape then departure.
Anita was the last thread Deja needed to sever, and did so with fanfare.
Deja became pregnant again and told him it was not his baby.
Martin lost his temper.
The police were called.
He was removed from the house.
Soon after, Deja sued for divorce claiming Martin was cold, had neglected her and the child, and said many things which were untrue. However, her friends and family backed up her lies.
There was no one on Martin's side.
So the Court is presented with Deja, mother, father, sister, friends, agreeing with her lies.
And Martin is alone.
No mother, father, sister, brother...no one.
Proving to the satisfaction of the Court that this was a very anti-social man who
had kept his wife a virtual prisoner, and whose own family had been repelled by
his behaviour so had abandoned him.
What Martin didn't Know
Deja had seen Martin long before he'd noticed her.
She knew he had no girlfriend, assumed he owned the house and noted he
was a rather stupid sort.
She'd rented the room, testing the water . Finding that Martin as dumb
as she thought, put her five year plan into operation.
The obstacles were his father and brother who were quite intelligent and
would easily see through her ruse. Hence, getting rid of them quickly was
her first mission which she accomplished perfectly.
Martin's sister shared his mental sluggishness. His grandmother and aunt were
old. The first died, the second lived a thousand miles away. His mother was the
only unknown quantity and turning her against Martin wasn't as hard as she'd thought.
Having swamped Martin with her friends he needed no others, and never realised
that when 'sides' were called, Deja would get them all.
The reason Deja concocted this five year plan was that her boyfriend, Frank,
was studying medicine. He was being supported by a silly girl named Ruth whom
he had married just as Deja married Martin.
Frank and Deja met whenever they could and their passion was unabated.
In five years, Frank would finish his internship and would go into practice at
a particular private medical center.
For five years Deja put up with Martin, Frank tolerated Ruth. Now that Frank
had moved into the Medical Centre it was time to shed spouses. Where he
would bring a profession into the relationship, Deja would bring a house.
It was equal.
Martin sits alone on the bed. It is not his bed. It is a bed in a furnished room. He has rented the room because there was no one who had to take him in.
He thought of Paul, the brother he'd grown with. No, he couldn't contact Paul. He thought of his father, no, not him either. His mother? Had he really let Deja make his mother that uncomfortable? Yes he had
Alone in this room, which wasn't his room, let him admit fault. Fault for ripping off Paul, fault for blaming his father in an investment scheme he joined. Fault for taking Deja's 'side' in every possible event. Fault for letting her run his life.
How had she done it? She never argued, never seemed to have an opinion. If she did something he didn't like and spoke about it, she just looked at him. Just looked.