ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Secret of Understanding Women and Break-Ups

Updated on July 28, 2020
Sychophantastic profile image

I'm an eclectic gal with many diverse interests. They include relationships, film, trivia, and an assortment of other things.

Was She Really "The One"?

Men are consumed with the "one that got away". So, here's an article on better understanding why women break up with men. While this article doesn't describe every reason women break up with men, it hopefully provides some insight. Understanding how women think about this subject is key. Men with broken hearts might be able to read this and gain some understanding.

Have you ever lost "the one"? Here's an explanation about female behavior that may give a few of you men some closure.

Men & Women Don't Think About the Future the Same Way

When it comes to dating and relationships, women and men do not think about the future the same way. Men don't think about how great their wedding will be Women do.

Parents of most girls raise them to believe they will have a storybook wedding and a romantic honeymoon. Everyone talks about it. Many women spend their formative years dreaming about having children and what an important, life-changing experience it will be. Of course, not all women buy into this fantasy, but many do. And it's not due to stupidity or gullbility. The fact is, society bombards women their whole lives with images and sounds reinforcing this message. Women need a provider. Women need to be with a man who earns more than them. Anything else is failure. It's social message that's hard to escape.


Are You in Her Future?

If you are going to last in a relationship with a woman, you must fit into her future. What exactly is that future? Does she see herself in a big house? Does she want five kids? You might be a totally hot, buff guy, but if you're still making minimum wage, it's not happening. Sooner or later, she'll break up with you.

A woman might be dating a guy she absolutely adores. However, if he can't afford the life she wants, she's going to dump him eventually.

Have you heard one of this conversations? Been a participant in one? In all likelihood, the woman said it wasn't you, it was her. That's just not true. It was you because you didn't fit into her vision of the future. It's a perfectly good reason for her to break up with you. It's just like you breaking up with her because she got fat. It sucks, but it happens.

Are You Long-Term Material?

As we all know, there are many women who seem to stay with guys who are losers. There are many young women who date guys who are lazy,. Others date men who are heavy drinkers, or don't seem to have too much going on upstairs. Women date men for the same reasons that men date women. Women stay with men short-term for the same reasons that men stay with women short-term. Sometimes they're fun. Frequently, they're having great sex. When people see them together, it's a source of pride.

As women age the issue of the future comes into play. And it comes into play in a woman's mind much earlier than it does for a man. Furthermore, men do not really focus on the future like women do. Men wonder about things like how a woman is going to look when she's older. They don't really think about a woman's job. Men don't care much, until much later, if a woman seems like a good mom. And if they do, those thoughts occur to them long after they occur to women of the same age. This is one reason men like to date younger women. Sure, there are the usual reasons.

However, one rarely discussed point is that younger women don't think that much about the future. They think about the now and having fun. A 29-year-old guy is much more likely to want to date a 21-year-old woman than the reverse. If a 29-year-old woman is dating a 21-year-old man, it's because she wants to have fun. She isn't immediately concerned about marriage and starting a family.

What Does She Want For Herself?

I hate to generalize, so I just want to emphasize that this doesn't apply to all women. However, it does apply to a lot of women. Bottom line is that most women like strong men. And by strong, I don't mean physically strong. I'm referring to a combination of professionally strong and mentally strong. If a woman pictures herself with a guy, it's because he fits into her future. If she doesn't see that guy in her future, she'll dump him sooner or later. Different women have different futures, so kids and marriage aren't important to all women. However, they're important to a lot of women.

So, if you're a guy and she dumps you out of nowhere, think about what she wants. How does her future differ from yours. Because ultimately, the great sex doesn't matter. Nor does your sparkling personality. What matters to her is whether or not you fit into her vision of her perfect life. If you don't, she's say goodbye every time.

What's the biggest reason women break up with men?

See results

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2012 Sychophantastic


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)