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The Secret of Understanding Women and Break-Ups

Updated on August 11, 2013
She's thrilled she's done with you.
She's thrilled she's done with you. | Source

Men are forever consumed with the "one that got away", so here's an article on better understanding why women break up with men. While this article doesn't describe every possible reason women break up with men, it hopefully provides a little insight into how many women think. Men with broken hearts might be able to read this and gain some understanding.

Here's an explanation about female behavior that may give a few of you men some closure.

When it comes to dating and relationships, women and men do not think about the future the same way. Men are not brought up imagining their wedding. Women are. Most women are raised to believe they will have a storybook wedding and a romantic honeymoon. Many women spend their formative years dreaming about having children and what an important, life-changing experience it will be. Of course, not all women buy into this fantasy, but many do, and not because they're idiots and not because they're weak-minded. The fact is, women are bombarded their whole lives with images and sounds that reinforce this message every single day.

In order for a woman to continue seeing a guy and consider him long-term relationship material, she must be able to picture him in her imagined future. If her imagined future includes children and a life as a stay-at-home mom, then any guy she's going to stay with long-term had better have a promising future, promising enough for him to fully support her financially when she's raising their children. A woman might be dating a guy she absolutely adores, but if his profession is one that simply doesn't allow for him to finance the kind of life a woman wants, she is eventually going to break up with him. And when that break-up conversation occurs, there's no way the woman is going to tell the guy that he doesn't make enough money, even if she's aware that that's the reason she's breaking up with him. Women know that this is likely to be a sore spot with men and they also know that it just isn't going to reflect well on them to say they're breaking up because the guy doesn't make enough money. Still, it's a valid reason for breaking up with a guy.

As we all know, there are many women who seem to stay with guys who are losers. There are many young women who date guys who are lazy, heavy drinkers, don't seem to have too much going on upstairs, what have you. Women date men for the same reasons that men date women. Women stay with men short-term for the same reasons that men stay with women short-term: they're fun, great sex, good-looking; etc. However, as women age the issue of the future comes into play and it comes into play in a woman's mind much earlier than it does for a man. Furthermore, men do not really focus on the future like women do. Men wonder about things like how a woman is going to look when she's older. They don't really think about what kind of a job a woman has or what kind of mother she's going to be. And if they do, those thoughts occur to them long after they occur to women of the same age. This is one reason men like to date younger women. Sure, there are the usual reasons, but one, rarely discussed point is that younger women don't think that much about the future. They think about the now and having fun. A 29-year-old guy is much more likely to want to date a 21-year-old woman than the reverse. If a 29-year-old woman is dating a 21-year-old man, it's because she wants to have fun and isn't immediately concerned about getting married and having a family.

I hate to generalize, so I just want to emphasize that this doesn't apply to all women, but it does apply to a lot of women. Bottom line is that most women like strong men. And by strong, I don't mean physically strong. I'm referring to a combination of professionally strong and mentally strong. If a woman can picture herself with a guy in the future, it's because he has characteristics that allow him to fit into that future. If she doesn't see that guy in her future, she'll eventually dump him. Different women have different futures, so kids and marriage aren't important to all women. However, they're important to a lot of women.

So, if you're a guy and you've been seeing a woman and you've been getting along and out of nowhere, she dumps you, part of the reason may be because you don't fit into her future plans.

What's the biggest reason women break up with men?

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  • alisha4u profile image

    alisha4u 5 years ago from New Delhi, India

    I am with you on this... Nice one!