- Gender and Relationships
How My Same-Sex Marriage Will Affect Yours
America Joins In!
UPDATE: June 26, 2015 - Congratulations to the United States of America, and SCOTUS, for affirming Marriage Equality and ruling that it is a constitutional right of all Americans to be able to marry who they love. Even this little New Zealander (a land with equality for just over 2.5yrs) is excited by this and very happy for you!
But on to more pressing things - How exactly will my Marriage Affect Yours if you aren't 'for' equality? I shall endeavour to explain the most common arguments around this below...continue!
How Ever Will You Cope? Oh, the Sanctity!
This hub stems from comments, questions, answers, threads, hubs, Facebook groups, and general confusion over exactly what the big deal is.
Over and over again I hear that somehow the legalization of Same-Sex Marriage (or Marriage Equality) will destroy the Sanctity of Marriage. Yet, how this is possible is never completely explain. Furthermore, I thought that the Sanctity of Marriage was destroyed by Divorce - something currently only open to Heterosexual Couples.
Perhaps, because it was seen as a contract under God. However the traditional Church wedding is now being overlooked by many a straight couple in favour of the 'location wedding." So, if one must be married in a church to have a marriage covenant under God, then there are some straight couples 'destroying the sanctity" again. Though, if you think about it - God is supposed to be omnipresent, etc etc - so why a Church? He's everywhere, at every ceremony - therefore, same sex marriages are contracts made under God.
Perhaps it is because we apparently cannot bear children. In a world straining under the weight of over-population, struggling with drought, famine, poverty, illness borne of poverty/famine/drought - you'd assume that we had enough people already, and the 'be fruitful and multiply" is a little overdone, and procreation would be the least of our worries.
Furthermore, what about those infertile straight couples? Shall we prevent them from marrying one another? Because clearly they are only have sex for the pleasure of it, not for procreation.
A little research, and you'll find there are plenty of same sex relationships with children, including my own. It's not as hard as it sounds. Just because we are gay does not mean we don't have the correct equipment to do anything about it. Many a gay woman has slept with a gay man to make babies. Many a gay man has slept with a gay woman in order to be a father. Surrogates are willing, wonderful people who assist with making a family, as are donors.
So, the Sanctity and Baby-Making Abilities of a Marriage are not lost within a same sex marriage. Tick that one off the list.
What About My Marriage?
Same Sex Marriage will not affect your marriage in anyway. Nor will it affect your lifestyle, etc etc. Why? Let's look at what it does and doesn't do:
Does it stop you from marrying? No. Will it end your marriage? Unless your spouse is a well-closeted homosexual and married because it was the DONE thing back in the day - No, it won't end your marriage. Will it taint your family? No. Will it take away any of your rights? No. Does it enforce what you should teach your children? No. Does it stop you from having children? No. Will it cost you anything? No, unless you are invited to the wedding, then a gift may be nice!.
You see, I have no say in who you marry, the way you raise your children, the way you live your life. If you want to marry the drop kick boyfriend your parents hated and who beats you, over the Bank Manager - I'm not going to stop you. If you want to marry a person who is over 10yrs your senior/junior - not going to stop you. If you want to marry outside your race or religion - nope, not stopping you there either.
If you want to raise your children in a different way to the way I raise mine - that's fine, and awesome as difference makes the world a better place. If you wish to teach them hatred, I cannot stop you. If you wish to teach them to love thy neighbour (except of course the gay ones down the road), then that's fine too. I'd be happier if you taught them to love thy neighbour regardless of who they are, but hey - I'm not going to tell you how to raise your children.
If you want to live an opulent lifestyle whilst thousands of same-sex attracted teens are homeless (perhaps your own, if you would kick them out), that's not up to me to judge. If you wish to volunteer your time at a homeless shelter, that's dandy also.
So, how again is my love for my same-sex wife (partner of 10 years, and loving Mama to our child) and desire to be joined in matrimony going to affect you and your marriage?? I can't hear you. How does my desire to have the same rights afforded to me and my family infringe on yours?
WHAT!!!??? You mean it doesn't?
My being married to my spouse of 10 years changes NOTHING in your marriage, family, or life. NOR will it ever. I will never have a say in who, when or how you marry, raise your children, live your life.
Why then, should you have a say is all of that, for me, solely because I am gay?
UPDATE: As of June 4 (US) (June 5 NZ) the Comments have been reopened - please do not reply to ibradmasters or RealityTalks comments - ib has been banned from Hubpages and Reality has left - you can check their profiles for confirmation. However, should derogatory or personal comments start up again - I will close them.